More points to ponder...

[BklynMom]

big hugs

[wishing, hoping]

Thanks guys. Feeling pretty good. Had some margaritas and snacks with a friend. Nice to talk and feel like a human. I do miss the kid's.

Speaking of the kid's S's soccer tournament has been cancelled. He is really bummed. Not only was he looking forward to playing but he knew he would get to spend some time with me. I'll see him at D's games though. But he still wanted to play. I am hoping D's games don't get canceled.

I am ready to meet new people. I am hoping to surround myself with healthy people who enjoy me for who I am and appreciate me idiosyncrasies and all.

WH

[wishing, hoping]

Wow what a day.

Started working on the flower bed. I will be surprised if I can move at all tomorrow. I asked my old neighbor to swing by and give me some advice. She came over and brought tools and started chopping away. I didn't expect her to do any work, just give advice. But she seemed excited to dig in so I told her to go for it. We didn't do a lot, but it does look tons better already. I have a lot of grass to dig out. Apparently there is a lot of lily of the valley growing in. She just suggested cutting a lot of stuff back and seeing what happens.

Something is bothering me. S told me this morning at D's game he was going to church tomorrow. But he said H will only take him to the second service because he knows I go to the first. I decided to stick with going to the first to not cause a scene. But why does H feel the need to purposely take the kid's at a time he knows I won't be there? It just feels hurtful and cold. I wish he would just grow up and act like an adult.

Just had to get that off my chest.

WH

[beatrice]

What kind of immature jerk tells his son things like that!!

I suspect that your xh is in the same category as mine - angry and obsessed with us. Cant let go and won't stop trying to hurt.

Turn it round if you can, and remember that you didn't want to see you xh in the grocery store, so at least you won't have to see him at church.

Garden project sounds fun - exciting for your kids to see what you have done.

[wishing, hoping]

Thanks Beatrice

I decided to let it go and choose joy. If H wants to be a jerk and keep the kid's from me as much as possible then that's fine. He is just like his mother. He wil end up being a bitter, lonely and angry person as he gets older and wonder why his kid's want nothing to do with him.

Yesterday at D's game S was talking about getting some baby-sitting gigs and we were standing by his literature teacher who has four kid's. She said jokingly "yeah...I don't know anyone who has kid's". She asked S what he was saving his money for and H chimed in "it's almost Father's Day". I just rolled my eyes. S's teacher put him in her place and said, "yes, but Mother's Day is first and that takes priority so I have to vote for Mother's Day". H shut up after that. All the moms on that team know H's real self since he was stupid enough to bring OW to a game last fall. They have no sympathy for him.

So it's true. Drop the rope and let them hang themselves. Works every time.

WH

[AJM]

WH, it seems you are in that category where the MLC'r won't let go. Don't just drop the rope... cut it! As much as you can anyway. He seems the type that will hang on like a bad cold, like B's ex. Or a few others that still post. He got what he wanted and it just isn't doing the trick so he'll try to stay connected. Kind of like he uses you to feed his anger, ya know?

While it seems beyond crazy, there is something wrong with him. It's well past time to take it personally or to think he's going to change with regards to your kids.

Leaves the question as to how to deal with the various things as they crop up. But do what you can to cut that rope and not just drop it.

AJ

[wishing, hoping]

Thanks AJ. I thought dropping the rope would be hard. Cutting it....seems impossible.

See D had another soccer game today. I stayed away from church because honestly I was too wiped to go to early service and I had a boatload of things to do today. I finished weeding the flower bed, went to the laundromat, put away all laundry, went to the hardware store, made Mexican brownies for Cinco de mayo, chopped onions and tomatoes, made baked chocolate chip pancakes (which the kid's loved btw) and did and put away a load of dishes. So by 4:00 I was ready for a break. When I got there I went by S and his GF and another of their friend. We chatted and then they started kicking the soccer ball around. I was standing by myself cheering on D and H came by me. Started friendly talk to me. Yes, me. Chatting so nice about D and S. Really? It felt awkward. I wanted to walk away but did not want to appear rude so I stayed and said nothing. After a while I felt it would be okay to walk away and I did and charted to another mom. I almost felt sorry for H. Almost.

When I picked up D later H invited me in the house. I gave the dog lots of love and D was upstairs playing. Why?? Not sure. He normally has her ready when I get there. He asked me to come upstairs because she was playing with legos and wanted me to see what she was making. It was weird. But honestly I felt nothing for the house. Nothing. Almost relief to be out of it. H had given D a bath and had her dressed in pajamas which irritated me because I could give her a bath. And the pjs were too small. But I shook it off and letD rode her bike when we got home and let her help put some rocks back in the garden and getting some nasty nettles out of the yard. So I didn't have to give her a bath so I actually got to spend more time with her. And I have plenty of pjs for her so we just changed into new pjs when we came in.

S has a soccer tournament next weekend. I am hoping H doesn't get a hotel room and stays with OW. Not that I need to see her face there, but I don't want to endure H at the pool when I'm trying to relax. I asked S if he and his dad were getting along better and he said kind of. But The kid's are a lot like me, in their taste and their sense of humor, which gives H a lot of grief.

Heading off to dream land...

WH

[BklynMom]

Lately I feel the same way around my xH. He gives me the heebee geeBees. I just dont want to be anywhere near him.

You are doing great and really becoming more you. I can feel in your posts

[wishing, hoping]

So something weird is going on...

I am a member of LinkedIn. I don't have my resume posted or anything. I am not too active on the site since I am not really looking for another job. But I have contacts and get updates on the market and watch online seminars and such. I have contacts that I have worked with presently and in the past. I don't ever post updates or anything.

I have gotten alerts for the past two weeks that people are reviewing my profile. Most of the time it is people I don't know. Today I got a notification that H is reviewing my profile. What on earth for? We don't work in the same field and we have no contacts in common. Is he scoping me to see if I have gotten any raises or promotions? Like I would post that to LinkedIn? I wouldn't. And doesn't he know whenever someone reviews my profile I get an alert?

I am starting to get a bit creeped out.

WH

[AJM]

Seems he is searching for you online... not a big surprise.

He's confused. He's conflicted. He is somebody you need to be really far away from. But it's part of it.

Could be he's looking for something that will help him in his court case.

The idea of cutting the rope, WH? That's a goal but not something you likely can do overnight. There will come a time, most likely, that you'll need to cut the rope vs. just dropping it. You'll see what I mean later when it happens. But I mention it now so you'll be prepared and working toward that.

Peace,
AJ