Loot and lawyers ...

[Train]

Wonka,

Thank you.

You could be right.

My H's family has a history of mental disorders. His brother is diagnosed bipolar. His mom actually mentioned to me that H's behavior reminded her of his brother's. I don't have to come right out and tell him he's crazy. But I honestly think he might have at least an imbalance.

Any suggestions on how to better approach that? Or would you suggest not approaching it at all?

[Train]

Oh, and hey, twinmom! Thank you. Planning to check in on you today!

[Wonka]

Train,

I'd jettison the notion of having a psychological eval altogether. You would want to focus on keeping the road paved smooth for H to return to the M and home. I was glad to read that your H noticed your sexy new dress and shoes! Keep up with this effort and re-attract your H.

[Train]

Point well taken, Wonka! I am *so* thankful for the help on here with keeping my focus! Besides, if/when he would go to IC, chances are the C would pick up on anything - if there's anything there - and s/he can make the referral. Right? I can leave that to the professionals.

And, yeah, GREAT suggestion on the outfit. Lol!

[Starsky309]

So what heel height did you end up going with, Train?

[Train]

About 3" wedges.

[Train]

Okay, guys. I feel like I'm in "new territory" today, even though logic/reason tells me that nothing is different today than yesterday. Or a month ago.

It's weird, though. H was very chatty yesterday, texting me all day and then last night about supposedly calling things off with OW. Granted, I didn't read "conviction" in the words he said he told her. I don't think they're "over" yet. And I also think OW is going to be GRASPING at this point because she gave up her own M ... and even, likely, custody of her D11 ... for H. I doubt she'll go down quietly.

Until a few minutes ago, I've heard NOTHING from H since the text last night. And I haven't contacted him today, either.

D17 texted me a while ago, asking for a copy of our most recent tax return for her to use for a financial aid application for college. I told her she'd need to contact H for that but that he has told me his copy is at his L's office.

H just texted, asking: "D17 filling out (info for) a school loan?"

I replied: "Yup."

And that's it.

This feels WEIRD after the texts all day yesterday ... and especially after the text last night.

I mean, this is how we've been communicating for two months. But I don't like it. I'd rather have yesterday's communication.

Should I be doing *anything* differently? I feel I'm one of those people who are now questioning whether me continuing to distance myself *completely* is going to make OW look like the more desirable option.

Surely these feelings/questions are normal. Maybe I just need reassurance that I'm doing the right things. Or suggestions on things I should start doing differently?

[Starsky309]

Didn't the distancing you'd been doing lead to yesterday's flirty pursuit by him? Hmmm??

[Starsky309]

In fact, didn't everything you'd been doing lead to it?

I'd say it worked pretty nicely, no? Why would you want to get away from what has worked? DBing is, at its very core, "DO WHAT WORKS."

Don't go cold, but don't get all needy/clingy, either. Keep that Train mojo goin' !!! And when the time is right, remember the money shots:

"Hmmm, I"m not sure HOW I feel about that anymore . . ."

and

"I'm afraid it's not that simple anymore."

People -- especially MEN! -- value most that which is difficult to obtain.


Starsky

[Train]

Yep. Yep. Anddddd yep.

Just what I needed.

Thank you!