OMG I ask my H to come to bed for sex. I ask 3x's H 1st said he did not feel like it, then he said maybe before he goes to work.
I don't think I can do this. I went for a short drive to not start to cry. When I came back H had left the house.
I don't think I can do this?
Where do I get the strenght from to not feel this pain? I'm thinking about asking H to leave the house and file for D.
My breaking point is like a week, then out the fool comes, I make a fool of myself once a week.
Im tired, tired of all of this.
Why is H staying?
I dont't think I can do this.
Yes I have done something like this also. I recall my humiliation of asking my h for sex and his response was "no, I'm good"
Also asking for a simple kiss and was told no. I don't ask for any affection anymore, I just show it myself if I feel h will allow it.
It comes across as pursuing to the was , and one thing that has helped me is I try not to ask any question or do any action that might cause a negative reaction from h unless I am able to accept being rejected or my feelings being hurt. And as far as feelings being hurt i try to let it roll off me and have no expectations .
One more thing I have learned is asking for affection, asking for sex, buying gifts, saying i love you, following around house makes you to appear needy and clingy and is not portraying the "as If" you are happy, healthy and busy with your own life (gal) being the spouse only a fool would leave impression.
Threaten to find OM to meet my needs. H said my desire for sex is totally new to him. Of course he forgets we were having sex 1-2 a week when we were having sex, when I was not having medical issues, when were not having issues,,,anyway
I asked H if he was ok with me having OM, he said he just wants me to be happy. WTF
I know I was wrong to even pursure or ask any questions, H again reminded me its only been a week since we last talked and nothing has changed....H said every week I blow up.
THEN I also opened my mouth to a friend who told me that I dont' know my worth and that until I really ask myself is this what I deserve then I will continue to allow H to do whatever he wants to do, that H is comfortable at home and seeing OW if he wants.
On way to work H said he would TRY to give me what I needed (sex). WOW,,,he will try, what the heck does this mean.
I need to pull myself together, get back on track with focus on me only.
Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015) H 51 (ring off 7/2013) M 2007 T 1996 S 14 July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
I feel like I take 2 steps forward and in one weekend day, 1 day I lose all the steps and go back way back.
I hate the rejection.
Im tired of finding places to go each weekend to avoid being home with H is home.
I just want to be home and be comfortable myself at home, I told H I was thinking about spending weekends with my mom H said you dont have to do that this is your home.
H did yard work, got some areas grass needs to grow back
H said he is doing what he is supposed to do, work, taking care of house and coming home.
H said he dont know what he wants as afar as R or M.
Why cant I shut it off shut down these emotions until H wants to work on M.
I said you dont want to be a H, does that also mean you dont want a R. H said with me its all or nothing. Is he trying to say he dont want to be my H but is willing to be in a R with me.
WTH? H said H cares about me and always will.
How do I know when I'm DONE. Today I want to be done, today I want all this to be over.
Im scared to raise son alone, but I feel that H would be there to help.
Worried about finances and keeping my home without H financial help?
Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015) H 51 (ring off 7/2013) M 2007 T 1996 S 14 July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
Threaten to find OM to meet my needs. H said my desire for sex is totally new to him. Of course he forgets we were having sex 1-2 a week when we were having sex, when I was not having medical issues, when were not having issues,,,anyway
I asked H if he was ok with me having OM, he said he just wants me to be happy. WTF
Thats what I say: WTF You cant use emotional abusse to deal with this, he is free to do whatever he wants but you cant threaten him with this kind of things, its very inmature and not a good way to gain attention.
Focus on yourself, GAL and be happy with yourself despite what he does. And reread DBing to put you back in track.
When the student its ready, the teacher will appear... Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with a love like that,It lights the whole sky.
Today Im asking myself do I even want someone who wll get invovled with OW.
I know I was immature with the threat, and this is not good to say but heck I feel like if I found me OM then this would be easy to move to to get a D. I know that is not fair to OM or OW to use someone to help me to move on.
Back to working on GAL and becoming a better woman, mother, daughter and friend.
Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015) H 51 (ring off 7/2013) M 2007 T 1996 S 14 July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
I know its so hard to not pursue when you want reassurance of some kind that "he cant possibly not love me ". " he couldn't of really meant those things he said or did". So you walk around silent and not knowing how to act or what to say to h, and you think if only he would hug me and say he is sorry and must of lost his mind.
But if you stop taking worrying about him 24/7 , and stay busy doing things for you, and treat him as a good friend hardly giving him much real-estate in your mind, that might cause him to seek you out, come to you.
If you seem just fine and dandy like cotton candy, you will be attractive to be around.
If you seem just fine and dandy like cotton candy, you will be attractive to be around. [/quote]
YES, I want to be fine and dandy.
Today was not a good day. Weekends are harder. I dont like H working 2nd shift, but maybe this is the best for me for now.
Need to keep working on rebuilding my self esteem, which took a hit due to this situation
How long can this go on?
Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015) H 51 (ring off 7/2013) M 2007 T 1996 S 14 July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
Threaten to find OM to meet my needs. H said my desire for sex is totally new to him. Of course he forgets we were having sex 1-2 a week when we were having sex, when I was not having medical issues, when were not having issues,,,anyway
I asked H if he was ok with me having OM, he said he just wants me to be happy. WTF
Thats what I say: WTF You cant use emotional abusse to deal with this, he is free to do whatever he wants but you cant threaten him with this kind of things, its very inmature and not a good way to gain attention.
Focus on yourself, GAL and be happy with yourself despite what he does. And reread DBing to put you back in track.
I ask something similar during one of his angry outburst, my h bolted out the door one night and didnt come home till morning. I said " what if I stayed gone all night? Than I told him how he would feel by saying "you wouldn't like that"
Well his response was " i dont give a f*ck what you do"
So again you shouldn't talk about the r, or ask why questions, or try to get them to say or do something to help you feel better.
Become happy healthy, busy, easy going, and fun to be around no matter if he's right there in the house or gone.
Gal and follow the rules of sandy's.
Make him wonder why you stopped pursuing, make him come to you when you no longer are hovering, begging, crying or acting hurt.
He might start to feel you are moving on with your life with or without him.
I told H today I really see that H is done with M and that I need to start moving on myself.
Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015) H 51 (ring off 7/2013) M 2007 T 1996 S 14 July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
