just hangin around....

[dingo]

I haven't snooped or asked about OM for a long time. She hasn't said he's not still in the picture so until I hear that, my default is that he is.

[labug]

I met up with this person on Thursday night and had a great time climbing with him. I am very confused though because he is definitely under the impression that we are happily married and that my wife had mentioned us all going climbing together...not sure what this is all about...

This is where we think "hmmm, isn't that interesting" and let it go.

[dingo]

Can you clarify bug?

That is pretty much the perspective that I have taken. However, sometimes I wonder if I just should have said no thanks and passed on getting together with him and establishing a cross-over friend with my wife.

Did your comment refer to the impression that this person had after speaking with my wife or the fact that I even met him to begin with?

For what its worth, he invited "us" to go again today. I am going after work but am now in a somewhat awkward situation.

[labug]

Sorry, I meant stay neutral on the impression he had about your M and where that came from. Not good, not bad, just interesting.

About being friends with him or not, you'll figure that out as time goes on. It'll work or it won't.

By "us" do you mean you and W along with him?

[dingo]

By "us" do you mean you and W along with him?

yes - it was sent just to me but included her on the invitation.

[dingo]

Although I was raised as a christian, I am not a particularly religious person much to my mother's chagrin. However, this morning, I woke up feeling a little bit vulnerable and confused by some of these recent events and for the first time in quite a while, prayed for some clarity on things today, for a sign, for some sort of nudge in the right direction.

It has been 4-5 days since my last exchange with my wife and this morning, as I got to my office, I received the following text:

"are you stealing my new climbing buddy? I just talked to 'climbing buddy' and heard you guys had a great time last night. I didnt go because I was out at a job site all day. He invited me to go on thursday and friday with you so I will probably see you there!"

Like I said above, I am not a big believer in fate, 'the universe' or other 'supernatural' type things but now I am even more confused. Trying not to mind-read but I can't escape the thoughts that this whole thing is something of a contrived effort. Other than the time when I texted her on the anniversary of her mother's death, she has initiated all breaks of no contact - on the order of every 3-5 days. She has been particularly friendly as well...

[labug]

You're in the driver's seat, buddy.

What do you want to do?

[dingo]

Well - this person is a good opportunity for me to learn a hobby that has interested me and a hobby that I introduced her to. I am not inclined to run away from the situation just yet.

That being said, I am also not very keen on getting enmeshed in the situation again. Over the last couple of days, I have found myself wondering about the OM and wanting to snoop - much more so than during the previous 6 or so weeks.

She has not mentioned anything about D paperwork in close to a month

I guess I am trying to mind read this and its a futile effort. I don't have to make a decision today so I will see how I feel about things on thursday.

[dingo]

So - it looks like I will most likely participate in this activity with my wife on Thursday. Any sage advice on how to act? Friendly - like she's an acquaintance?

[zew]

You like climbing? Go climb.

Maybe it's contrived, maybe it isn't. You can't know; stop stewing over it. Set expectations to zero. You're going climbing.

How to act? Treat her like you treat the other guy - you're just 3 people out climbing. Watch, listen and learn. Resist any urge to start any conversation that isn't about climbing.