Loot and lawyers ...

[Starsky309]

Good lawd. I had gone all week, calling this week "boring" ... but knowing the other shoe could drop at any moment.

He's really laying all his remaining cards out at one time, ain't he?

Yes, and he's a fool for doing so. My guess is that OW is giving him pressure to "wrap things up," and he's proudly reporting back to her. But legally, he's being FOOLISH to put this stuff in writing, IMHO.

[Train]

God, what a moron he is to put that in writing like that. Yet somehow a beautiful thing.

The thing is: he IS a moron. But he honestly doesn't give a f**k. He's not just saying that. That's how he gets, especially off his ADs.

What is the mortgage balance, and what does Zillow say it's worth presently?

The house is upside down, especially considering the current market. There's still $159K to pay; we've only had it 12 years. I don't know it's worth. But it's upside down. And it needs a new roof. Lots of improvements. It's historic. I'll check Zillow. Never even heard of that.

[Train]

legally, he's being FOOLISH to put this stuff in writing, IMHO.

If I had deep pockets, it might be foolish. But he knows I can't afford to "fight" him. I have a friend representing me who I think is going to go after what's "fair." But a fight? Likely won't be one. So "evidence" of any kind - while I keep it and pass it along - is likely a moot point. I could be wrong. But that's my guess. L is acting like the decision to default is all mine, and he isn't advising against it. He's even saying now that what H is paying me, as of today, might be "reasonable." Certainly not providing me with much of a backbone today.

[zew]

Train,

After the events of the day, I might want to retract the post I sent you earlier.

[Train]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, zew!!! Right?!??

[Starsky309]

Pull a free credit report on yourself, and find out if the mortgage shows under your name/SSN, and what other marital debts include you.

If you are upside-down (and after 12 years, I bet you're closer to break-even that super-far-underwater?? check zillow.com) . . . I'd be inclined to take his $2k'ish/month, skip making the mortgage payments, and let the house go into default. I'd ESPECIALLY be inclined to do that if you are NOT on the note (and it doesn't show up on your credit reports -- check all 3 bureaus, btw). You could sock away funds, and then eventually reach out to the bank and/or someone who buys it after it foreclosures, and offer to rent back from them, keeping your kids in the same house. If not, you could find other suitable rental home nearby for $1200 - $1500/mo?, trying to keep your son in the same school district, but you would have socked away $1200/mo for 4-12 months (or even longer, if you wanted and were willing to file for BK and/or do other things to contest the foreclosure action).

I know it's all scary stuff, but if the house is NOT in your name, you really may have some good options here, Train. Renting ain't bad (think: NOT YOUR PROBLEM if the a/c stops working, or the roof leaks!), and you could rebuild your own credit in 2-5 years.

Starsky


Starsky

[Train]

I will check into all those things, Starsky. Thank you.

but you would have socked away $1200/mo for 4-12 months

Correction: I WOULD have been able to save that ... if H didn't just cut his support by $1,300/month. Now, I'll be saving NOTHING. A$shole.

[figgeroni]

what are calculations for child support? It is usually a strict percentage.

if you have any education, the judge (at least in my experience with courts) will look at what you are most likely able to make (not neccessarily what you DO make) to divide other areas...

so for example, I am a teacher with a masters degree...my current salary is $36,000. However, in MN (where I live) with my experience and degree I COULD be making 55,000 so that figure will get used

SAHM get sort of screwed in the whole scenario. You are lucky to be getting SS...it is usually not awarded here no matter how long you have been together and if it is, it is awarded for a very short time (like a year) in order for the SAHP to get on their feet.

I get $440 a month for two kids...and he owes over $60,000 in back child support. Fun times

[Starsky309]

I will check into all those things, Starsky. Thank you.

but you would have socked away $1200/mo for 4-12 months

Correction: I WOULD have been able to save that ... if H didn't just cut his support by $1,300/month. Now, I'll be saving NOTHING. A$shole.

You're going to have to get you and your kids to a place where you can carry a safe, clean, preferably in S7's current school district home or apartment rental -- plus your other monthly expenses -- for $2000 - $2500/mo, yes? (whatever SS + CS you get from your H, plus the net of what you're able to earn after paying for your younger child's daycare expenses)?

As part of any D paperwork, the lawyers will have you each put together monthly income and expense budgets. Even if it's more like $900/mo. instead of $1225/mo. that you can swing for a rental, you can be socking that money away every month by "squatting" in the current home, waiting for the foreclosure process to play itself out and catch up to your husband (and by extension, his "tenants" -- YOU). That's still $10,000 in one year you could squirrel away.

[Train]

figgeroni,

what are calculations for child support? It is usually a strict percentage.

if you have any education, the judge (at least in my experience with courts) will look at what you are most likely able to make (not neccessarily what you DO make) to divide other areas...

L calculated anywhere from $1,250 to $1,600 for CS, monthly

I have a bachelor's degree. But since I've been a SAHM for nearly eight years, he can - to be "fair" - plug in minimum wage for me. Technically in NC, moms aren't "required" to factor in income until their youngest child is three, apparently. But my youngest DD will be three in June, so we're plugging in a minimum-wage job for me "just to be fair."

Starsky,

The problem is that we live essentially paycheck to paycheck. His first job wasn't enough to pay the mortgage plus bills plus groceries. That's why H had to find a second job. He does not share that second-job income with me. So, I've been living off of his income from his first job, which NEVER paid all the bills. Therefore, even with all the income from that first job, I could never pay the mortgage plus utilities plus groceries. So now that he's pulled $1,300/month - which is even MORE than our mortgage payment - I will not be able to save a DIME. In fact, not only can I NOT pay mortgage now, but he's eating into another $80 of utilities/grocery money by withholding $1,300/month.

Does that make sense? I will not be saving SQUAT by squatting here now.