husband wants to bring kids around ow

[Starsky309]

But I did it, I didn't respond or text (since I posted this morning) and sent one long one this evening answering everything.

GOOD JOBBIES!!!


Starsky

[twinmom]

Both my almost 13yr old and my 7 yr old have Kindles. I randomly check then to make sure they haven't downloaded anything inappropriate and look at their web history. While doing so this morning I saw on the 7yr olds he had been using his text app a lot. No biggie but I looked at the texts (he only had numbers for me, his dad, his dad's live in girlfriend and H) he had sent this text to the girlfriend
"Joe really liked the m&m candy bag, can I buy him a really big bag of m&m's so he will come see me?"

Backstory.... boys went to Easter party this past weekend and when they came home on Sunday he had treat bags for both H and myself.
This is killing me to see my boys pain!

H texts this morning asking how everyone was doing, then sends another text asking if I want him to take the boys to school (after we had the conversation last Monday that I no longer want him to do that) he then calls but doesn't leave a voice mail mid morning. I then get a text "are you ok today" this afternoon. I have not replied to anything, I will send a text tonight with info about car insurance/registration that came in the mail today.

[Train]

Re: the boys ...

I read something the other day that said, essentially, it's better for kids to say they're from a broken home than to actually live in one.

Take heart. The kids are resilient. They are fine - and will continue to be - because you are their "constant."

And GOOD FOR YOU for sticking to those guns!! Yeah!!!

[twinmom]

Let's see I ignored 1 phone call and 4 texts today :-)
I just sent him a long text answering everything and giving all info he should need

[LaPoo]

Well done!

[Train]

YEAH, twin!!!!!!!!!! Pat yourself on the back once (or three times) for me. WAY TO GO!!!!

[Starsky309]

GOOD JOBBIES!!!


Starsky

[figgeroni]

remember also that you don't need to answer every question he asks. You are allowed to have privacy. You don't have to answer when he asks how you are doing...

he is trying to make sure you are OK with everything

if you aren't...don't say you are...don't say anything...don't answer the question

he no longer has the right to know all these intimacies about you

[twinmom]

He didn't show up at my Dr appointment this morning.... first prenatal appointment he had missed with the twins or this pregnancy. It was always important for him to be there. No call/no text today.....

Keep telling myself no expectations but the tears don't stop

[Train]

Chin up, twinmom. He's probably just "lashing out" over you slowing down your communication yesterday. He's having a temper tantrum, I bet, and trying to "make you pay." In other words, I'm betting, judging from how in-your-face he's been all along, this is a move he made to "punish" you. Which means he's trying to control you and make you "play" on his terms.

Don't fall for that.

Cry as much as you need to. Get it out of your system. But understand - at least from my vantage point - that him not showing up is a GOOD sign for YOU.

Starsky told me once that setting boundaries will oftentimes, at least temporarily, push a wayward spouse AWAY. Don't let this shock you.

Keep doing what you're doing.