husband wants to bring kids around ow

[Starsky309]

Twinmom,

I know this is hard (remember, I did go thru this too), but you simply cannot turn to your wayward husband to be YOUR source of comfort right now. You lose all of the baby steps you've gained when you do that.

That was one of THE hardest things for me to accept (that, and the whole "Starsky, you cannot control her/this" thing) -- that the woman I loved, that I forsook all others for, was NOT MY FRIEND (at least not in her current, wayward state), and NO FRIEND OF THE MARRIAGE.

And as much as I was hurting (and I was), I couldn't (and shouldn't!) turn to HER, for comfort.

Uggggh. That killed me.

It's good to show your emotions once or twice, early on, but once you're in the stage you're in right now, you've got to be STRONG. It's the only way he's going to respect you, and the only way you can hope to re-build attraction and have him respect your boundaries.

Back up on the horse, soldier.


Starsky

[Train]

Ummmmm. Yes. What HE said ^^^^.

[twinmom]

The spa was nice.... I cant indulge in my favorite treatment while pregnant so I settled for a massage and water therapy. Still dealing with this stupid cold so she did some sinus work for me and that helped a little. Ended up sitting in the relax room (fireplace/massage chairs/cold mask on eyes) for over 2 hours after my treatments were done.... came home and more texts from H this time pics of the twins haircuts and questions about a family (his family) situation.

[twinmom]

I know, tomorrow is a new day. I really hope I didn't lose any ground I had gained. Grrrrrrrrr, mad at myself but going to get back into the saddle....

[twinmom]

My last phone call with my coach this morning..... just can't afford another $700 to keep going with that. I have been up since 2am as this cold turned into a sinus infection. My mind keeps going back and forth between pig week just be done and wanting my marriage.....

Stupid me looked at the phone bill and saw he called a lawyer on Monday (only a 2 min call) then called same lawyer three times in a matter of an hour yesterday with each call being 1 minute long.....

Gah! Just torturing myself by looking. But can't figure out why so many very short calls. I am not going to say anything to him.

[Train]

I promise the BEST thing you can do for yourself and your peace of mind is to stop snooping. I promise. I know it's hard. But you will feel sooooo much better.

[twinmom]

Holy withdrawal symptoms.......
Dr put me on zoloft and ativan as needed.... well ativan is high risk for the baby so I only took it when I was really losing my mind and have been trying to cut back even more. Super high pulse, shaking, mind blowing high anxiety levels..... I left work early but had to sit on the parking lot for almost an hour because I didn't trust myself to drive.....

On another note, db coach to keep waiting/ignoring some texts and we discussed the upcoming birthday party and Seasame Street Live tickets.... hoping H decides to go as planned but I sent his mom a text asking her if she can help me take them if he decides not to. Have not heard back from her yet.

Have a meeting with Father Bertino tonight and hopefully that will be calming to talk to him.

The older boys went to their dad's this morning and the twins won't be home till tomorrow morning so trying to think of something to do after my meeting with Father........

[twinmom]

So H's mom sent a text last night saying that H does want to go to Seasame Street and he thought I didn't want him to go. Ummmmm, no! I replied back with the exact conversion I had with H and said "your son is confusing the crap out of me"
I sent H a text saying "have you thought about Seasame Street" and he immediately relied back "I will go"
He then sent a text about a birthday gift for his brother to which I didn't reply as i was already drifting off and replied at 3am when I woke to use the bathroom.

He took the twins for a haircut on Wednesday and when his mom questioned why I didn't take Vivian he gave her the impression that I didn't want to go with. Ummmmmm HE NEVER INVITED ME! I am assuming as he took 2 vacation days and ow did too that she went with :-( just frustrated how he tries to soon himself add the

[twinmom]

My last day of work :-\ glad to be done but then again it was adult interaction with a very nice monetary reward that slightly kept my mind off this miserable situation.

He still insists on texting/calling numerous times per day (all with a reason, no "how is your day) I typically respond 2+ hours later if at all......

Met at friend and wandered around Costco for a while tonight..... but really need GAL ideas... all my friends are married/kids so they are really busy in a daily basis. Can anyone help me with some ideas? And whenever I take the kids to the park or go for walks that is the worst time for my mind wandering to H and what he might be doing/situation.....

[twinmom]

H's birthday is coming up at the end of the month. I HATE gift cards, I think they are the most impersonal "I really didn't put that much effort into your gift" kind of gift.... H knows I NEVER give a gift card as a gift, that I always put lots of effort into picking out something I think the person can really use/will love. I know now is not the right time to buy him gifts but I want to get him something from the twins. So I was thinking a card and a gift card to a store I know he shops at..... This would be a 180 for me that says "your not on my priority list anymore"..... Is this going too far or the perfect message that he just kind of exists in my life but I don't give him too much thought.... (acting as if)