Points to ponder...

[wishing, hoping]

And it continues..

Turns out for the garbage pickup I didn't get the first bill and the amount I prepaid was applied to the first bill I never received. I was on the phone for 20 minutes trying to understand. At least this bill isn't due right away. I can pay this the next time I get paid.

AND I have been playing phone tag with the woman from the counselor's office. I hope I am right with this bill. I am beyond frustrated.

NOW I discover that H has been paying the car insurance for the past two months and now I have to pay it. I told my insurance to switch it over but they didn't so now I have to come up with that money. ACK ACK ACK!!! I am feeling overwhelmed again. I feel like I will never get ahead.

Learning to fly...but I ain't got wings!

WH

[wishing, hoping]

Okay the counselor's office did not bill me a past due amount. It is just showing what I owe. Their billing system confuses the heck out of me. I am not going to attempt to understand it. I am just going to keep paying.

I got my insurance lowered drastically by taking advantage of the low mileage discount (which will expire eventually) and by going liability only. I don't really feel to comfortable doing that, but since my car is only worth about $2500 and it is paid for I am taking serious advantage of it until I get back on my feet. I asked them to revisit this with me in three months. Hopefully things will be better by then.

So no going out to eat (which I wasn't doing much of it anyway). No convenience food and no new clothes (although I haven't gotten new clothes in ages). Any other advice? Trust me it's welcome.

WH

[BklynMom]

Stick with liabilty only, makes no sense to pay for full coverage if your car is only worth 2500.

Other tips - Craigs list for everything.

Sell stuff on ebay,craigs list, thread flip, twice - use money from sales to buy from the same sites for fun.

[wishing, hoping]

Thanks BK. I do buy a lot on Craigslist. But you really have to watch what you buy. Lots of people "flip" things. You end up paying way too much money for something.

So H came by. Stayed for about 5 minutes and left. I figured as much. His loss not mine. S's GF and her friend are over right now. They are all sunny around outside. They are having a good time. We had ice cream cake and one if the girls gave S a quart of Orange juice. Silly kids.

It's been a good day other than the bill stuff. Hoping things get better tomorrow.

WH

[kml]

Ok WH - time for some financial strategy here:

- you badly need an emergency fund; even a short-term amount of $1,000 would take a lot of pressure off of you. So how can you achieve that? I know you just moved, but do you have excess stuff to sell on eBay or at a yard sale? Sell your wedding ring? Anything else of value?

Can you find a working mom who needs evening babysitting a couple of nights a week? $25 x 2 nites a week x 4 weeks = $200 a month extra in your pocket.

Or can you look online and find "virtual" work, like editing or transcribing, that you could do at home at night for extra $ ?

Also, go on the MrMoneyMustache forums and see if people there have any advice about other places you could cut your budget.

[wishing, hoping]

Yes, I know, KML. I have been trying to achieve one, but things keep coming up. It doesn't help that I just got attacked by H for using our marital credit card to put down the deposit for S's party. I tried to explain that I had to pay rent, too, and that I didn't want to stretch myself too thin. I am sure he doesn't care. But dam it, I don't have any other credit cards. I have credit on Bill Me Later for purchases online, but I couldn't use that for S's party.

I was trying to keep a PMA because being upset doesn't help anything. But I am just beside myself. I am trying to think outside the box for extra cash. But I am starting to feel like a real failure.

I am on a shoestring budget now! I don't know where I could cut except for groceries. I have looked online for other money-making opportunities. The only thing I find is retail. Which won't help me, because then I have to claim the income and that will affect my support.

I thought about selling some jewelry to pay off some bills. I could go through some stuff and see what I could sell. I guess any little bit helps. I have started making a small pile of things. D has a pair of boots and some dress shoes that don't fit her. She might have a dress or two as well. But that's not much money. I can clean out my closet and find some things to sell. Can you sell clothes on Craigslist? I don't trust consignment shops at all and I don't like eBay - doesn't eBay take a portion of what you sell?

I am such a newb.
WH

[wishing, hoping]

And should I get my jewelry appraised first?? Do you take it to a jewelry store for that?

WH

[wishing, hoping]

Okay plan of action...I don't know if it will work but I feel better when I am doing something about it rather than sitting around and worrying.

1) We don't eat out much AT ALL...but now that will stop. This includes gas station convenience on the go stuff.

2) More "real food" and less prepared. Like I said, I don't use a lot of prepared stuff, but I will see where I can pare down even more.

3) Try to cut down on laundry. I don't know if this will help or not? Maybe jeans can be worn twice unless they are really dirty? Maybe I can wear sweaters twice? I have a clothesline...not sure where I could hang it though.

4) I will go through jewelry, clothes and other stuff tonight to see what I could sell. I have some rings, bracelets, etc. Also, I could try and sell some stuff I have made previously and see how it goes over.

5) Have the kids pack lunch once or twice a week. I don't know if this will really save anything since the cost of them both eating a hot lunch is only $5 a day. I could really use other thoughts on this.

6) I am still looking into ways to bring more cash in. I can make jewelry but if no one buys it then you have the overhead and no profit. I could take dogs to the dog park, but I have to be careful. I will think of anyone who needs babysitting. I have a few ideas, but it may be up in the air.

One of the traps I have fallen into is I am sinking all my extra money into paying off debt and getting things for the house and the kids. I know Dave Ramsey says to make an emergency fund first, but I feel guilty having that money sit there when I could be paying ahead on bills, etc.

KML I could sure use your thoughts on this.

WH

[kml]

One of the traps I have fallen into is I am sinking all my extra money into paying off debt and getting things for the house and the kids. I know Dave Ramsey says to make an emergency fund first, but I feel guilty having that money sit there when I could be paying ahead on bills, etc.

You need that emergency fund more than you need to be paying ahead on bills.

No more stuff for the apartment until you have that fund. You're pretty well set up now.

Make a game out of how low you can get your grocery bills for a couple of months. If you could save $50 a week for two months, that's $400. Bulk beans and rice are cheapest, crock pot recipes are convenient for a working mom, pasta's not my favorite (wheat is EVIL!) but if that's in your repertoire, it's cheap too. Check out the Tightwad Gazette books from the library - she will inspire you and there's lots of great creative ideas in there for your kids.

I'd sell things on eBay instead of Craigslist; no need to meet up in person. Save Craigslist for large items too bulky to ship.

If you think you have jewelry that actually is valuable, then yes, get it appraised. I've never owned anything worth more than a few hundred dollars at best, which I wouldn't bother getting appraised, but if you have anything of real value....

You might approach some of the moms at your daughter's daycare - perhaps some of them have difficulty getting there after work, and would pay to have you take their kid home with you a couple nights a week? Also, if there is a hospital nearby, nurses work weird shifts and might need evening babysitting. Waitresses too.

Also - is there any way to earn more at your job? I know you probably don't want to do that until the divorce is settled, but after that - can you get any overtime hours? Put in for a raise?

As for the kids' lunches - $2.50 for a lunch doesn't sound too bad - does your ex split this cost? Do the kids actually eat the food? Do their friends get school lunches or bring their own?

If it turns out the kids would actually prefer to bring their lunch, it's only worthwhile if you keep it cheap. PB&J sandwiches, apple and homemade brownie - run the math, but probably a dollar or so. But the extra stress on you to keep the lunches made, and the kids begging for pricey treats to put in their lunches - may be more of a headache than it's worth.

[wishing, hoping]

Thanks KML. I have my wedding ring and an anniversary ring from H PLUS a diamond ring he bought me when he told me he loved me. I hate to sell them, but honestly, I won't wear them again. Plus other jewelry from other exs. What can I say? I love jewelry. I just don't want to sell my treasured diamond rings and get lowballed if I could get more elsewhere. I have no idea what to sell them for if I don't know what they are worth.

I am pretty cheap with groceries. I buy a lot of chicken, veggies, ground turkey, etc. My kids don't really care for meat (except for chicken) so I can get away with using veggies. They like pasta (so do I). I know it's not the greatest, but I serve it with veggies and that makes it a bit healthier. I started shopping at Aldi and I have saved a lot of money. I don't buy convenience meals any longer and no frozen stuff.

Don't you have to pay eBay a portion of your proceeds if you sell? I am not into that. PLUS I don't want to have to ship things. I don't mind meeting up in person. I don't have a lot of bulky big things to sell. I think I will try Craigslist and then branch out. I see there are some online garage sale sites on Facebook. I might try those as well. At least then it would be selling to people in my community, a lot that I already know.

There is no way to get more money from this job. We have a strict "no-overtime" policy and we get annual raises.

Yes, H and I are required to split the lunch account payments 50/50. It costs about $100-$150 a month for the two kids so I pay about $50 a month. I guess it is a horse apiece. And yes, they LOVE the food and eat it. Which is why I never pursued making their lunch. I used to make S pack at least one day a week, but he likes PB&J and an apple, etc. But if you get those crap-tastic snacks and sugar laden drinks the price of packing isn't worth it anymore.

I will keep coming up with ways to make more. I think it's just a rough patch right now. I see a bill sitting out there and I want to pay it now! I will make my focus to save as much as possible to get the emergency fund completed. I am just hoping that nothing else comes up so I CAN save the emergency fund.

WH