Points to ponder...

[wishing, hoping]

Hey all

No, I didn't see the bill. The landlord says he gets the bill and splits it down the middle between the upstairs and me. And here I thought I was doing so good. This really sets me back. I thought I was getting ahead and here's another setback. I feel very discouraged. The landlord asked for my email so I don't know if he will email me a bill or just let me know what my half is? I am hoping I can pay him in installments until I get settled. I am sick to my stomach now. Like I said, feeling very discouraged. I'll have to tighten things again. No money spent.

As far as S babysitting D, I don't think it is legal for them to be home alone. That's why I am contacting my attorney (or trying to). It was iffy at best for S to be home alone by himself. It's another thing for him to be responsible for his little sister. And I think I am angriest because H and I discussed this very thing and he agreed with me. Now he is going against everything I say because he is angry with me. H won't even take them to church any longer because I am there. He told S he would take him to the second service and S told him if he couldn't go to the first service he wasn't going. So there it is.

I need some cheering up. I was feeling better, but not so much now.

WH

[job]

I personally don't like the way the landlord is handling the electric bill. Here you are, being conservative and who knows what the people upstairs are doing. I would have to inquire as to what the bills were like prior to you moving in. That's a lot of money for someone who isn't home during the day and doesn't have children there all of the time.

I would ask him why he needs your email address before I would give it to him.

[wishing, hoping]

Everyone I have talked to says this landlord is a good guy. He even said he isn't sure why it's so high. I must be doing something wrong. I know it was cold during a lot of this and maybe I had the heat too high? The appliances are newer so I don't think that is it.

The fact of the matter is now I owe this bill. I just got adjusted to paying rent and I just paid off one debt and now another enormous bill! I am beyond depressed.

I will calm down. I need to be proactive about things. Ugh.

WH

[Wonka]

WH,

Being a good landlord requires transparency that entails sending you the bill so you can see for yourself what your portion is/will be. I'd ask the landlord to send you the bill or leave it at your door. I am not comfortable with the notion of just taking his word for it...I'd want to see the bill for myself.

And $320 seems awfully high! My electric bill for my home is approximately $70.00-80.00 per month and I am being conservative with the electronics here.

[wishing, hoping]

Thanks, Wonka.

I don't know what all this bill includes. If it is electric, water, heat, etc? I pay garbage pickup separately. It is a utility bill, not just an electric bill.

I did call him and ask him to send me the bill. But he is very busy and he doesn't always get back to me on time, which bugs me. Like I said, he seems to be a nice guy who is genuine. I don't know if I will renew my lease next year. According to the upstairs neighbor, the room that is D's bedroom flooded last year when the water softener purged and the old tenant's child's toy got caught in the drain. That kind of grosses me out. He said the carpet was new, but now I know why.

I am still waiting for the guy to hang a mirror in the kids' bathroom. He said he would do it months ago. Still nothing. It ticks me off, but it isn't the end of the world.

And with S's birthday I had to pay for the party, cake, invites, etc...so I am not as far ahead as I wanted. This is just really bad timing, but of course there is no such thing as good timing.

I feel like I have gone two steps forward and three steps back.

WH

[kml]

WH -

Have you thought about picking up some little side gigs to bring in extra cash? Babysitting for a friend? Online work like editing? Making crafts to sell? Don't know what your skill set is, but it doesn't seem like it should be that hard to earn an extra $100 or two per month - and that would give you some breathing room.

As for the utility bill, if it jumped up after you moved in, likely it IS due to your consumption. You may have the heat set too high, or not turning it down at night. Even newer fridges still need their coils dusted - a simple thing you can do yourself. LED lightbulbs will save electricity in the long run.

[wishing, hoping]

Thanks KML.

I know S had the heat in his room set so dad-blasted high. I turned it down and he turned it back up. It was roasting. So I adjusted that. It is warmer now (hope it sticks around) so I will check all the thermostats and turn them down. I do have a programmable thermostat in the living room but funny thing is, it looses time so I am wondering if it works correctly? I set the time and the temps and set it to run, but the next day the time is wrong. I let the landlord know about this. Maybe the thermostat is on the fritz?

So I have lots of strategies for the future, but I need to come up with somehow to pay this bill. I thought I was doing well. I had some put aside for utilities, but I didn't figure that much. Ugh. Unless I pay part of it when I get the child support and part next week when I get paid. He didn't say when it was due, but I am guessing now. Which doesn't really help me budget at all. I just paid rent from the check I just got and paid the bills and child support will help with the buffer, but I don't want to stretch myself too thin.

I just need to keep my head on straight, fix things so it doesn't happen again and readjust, right? I was hoping to have two more bills paid off this month but it doesn't look like that will happen now. I was hoping to get my washer and dryer this month. But if I had gotten half the bonus H should have split with me, that would help immensely. I am not counting on the taxes because I am sure H has already spent that.

Extra money...under the table. It would be easy to get a part time job on Wednesdays or Thursdays, but it will affect child support, which H is trying to lower. I could babysit at the rec center, but they don't pay cash. They give a membership in trade, which is nice, but not what I need right now.

I feel like I am robbing Peter to pay Paul now and not getting anywhere in the meantime.

WH

[wishing, hoping]

Okay totally crumb-tastic day today. Ugh!

I told you about the surprise amount for the utilities, right? Well it gets better. So I get an email from S's band teacher that the last installment payment for his band trip this summer is due next week. Oh joy. And...I get the mail and there is a statement stating I am past due on a payment socking me with a $10 late fee. I don't think so. I paid them. I remember distinctly. Then my neighbor drops off a bill from the garbage collection for $100! WTF? So much for relaxing.

I search through my files for the receipt that I paid the counselor. Of course all of them except the one I want is in the file. Arg! I finally find it mis-filed in the daycare folder. Good. Now I have proof I made the payment. Now onto the garbage.

Upon reviewing the bill I see they charged me for a startup fee which I swear I already paid. Also they were supposed to apply a $25 credit. Which they didn't. So $50 of the invoice I already paid. What gives? So then I have to look for the receipt that I already paid them $50. Of course they never sent me one. Sooooooo...I dig for the credit card receipt proving I already paid it. Sure enough there it is. So they are overcharging me $50. I am already not happy with this company since it took me forever to get my containers. They better not give me a hard time or I am cancelling the service.

So my mom has given S a total of $176 for his birthday. $100 for a college fund, $50 free money and the rest for a bike helmet. I told him I was taking the money to pay for his trip and when I got paid next week I would get him the bike helmet. He was okay with it. I also talked to the kid's about our spending freeze. Until bills are paid off and I am caught back up no extra spending. D thought that meant I wouldn't buy food. I assured her she would still be able to eat. I meant like clothes and toys that we didn't "need". I explained to S that I had spent a lot on his birthday so I needed him to understand and he said he did.

D had a bad day too. I picked her up and of course I was running late. Apparently she had an argument with her friends about who would be which role from the movie "Frozen". I guess it got heated. So I told her we needed to work hard together to make it a better day. And we did. Until I forgot S's soccer practice ended at 7 and not 7:30. Mom fail. : (

What a night!! Then I had to swing by the old house to get S's cleats for outside practice. I called H who sounded rather sour and told him I would be getting them. Then when I am making the turn to go back to the house who do I pass?? H!!! I said to S if he knew he was going to go by my place or by the soccer field why didn't he just drop them off?? S said he probably didn't even think about it mom. S was right. Tunnel vision. S also made a funny observation about how H has three filing cabinets in his room but only uses the top drawer of each. Now you explain that one to me!!! Lol!

So S is 13 in 5 hours. I can't believe it!!! Before I know it he will be out of school. Wow. H called and asked what I was doing for S's birthday and I said I got an ice cream cake and we are going to have a little get together. He asked if it would be okay for him to stop by? Ugh!!! I said okay. Not because I didn't want to tell him no, but because he is their dad and he should be there. And I would hope if he has the kids on their birthday he will be considerate Andre me spend time with them too. Do unto others, right? I will just need to make sure I put away sensitive stuff before H gets there. I will grin and bear it for the kid's.

On the financial front I have some feelers out there to see if I can network. A good friend and former co-worker suggested I put my feelers out in my church because that is a good place to network. So I will send an email tomorrow. It got me someone to talk to S, it can't hurt I guess. It would be nice to find something I could do under the table on Wednesdays and Thursdays and every other weekend. Just to make an extra couple hundred dollars.

I need to go to bed. Long day tomorrow.

WH

[AJM]

I heard what you're saying. Sounds like a PITA, but it sounds like it ended pretty well. I mean, you had the docs to get the information/bills straightened out. That's a win if you ask me. You had a great conversation with your D. And nobody died when you got there late to get your S. A little more planning on his part and he can start bringing his equipment with him so you don't have to get frazzled, right? Takes getting used to being in two places though. Takes time.

And I would hope if he has the kids on their birthday he will be considerate Andre me spend time with them too.

Why are you doing that to yourself, again??

My suggestion? Plan to do what you feel is right for you. Do what you feel is the right thing to do regardless of what he does. Do it for you. Do it because it seems right to you. But do not do it because somebody might return the favor - that's just setting you up for disappointment, right?

Here's to a great day!

AJ

[wishing, hoping]

Thanks AJ.

But, nah...I'm not doing it expecting H to return the favor. It is the right thing to do. He is S's father and according to our parenting plan he has the option to spend an hour with H on his birthday. So it is either he comes here or else I lose an hour with S. I don't think H will overstay his welcome. I can't imagine he would be very comfortable in my place. It is mine after all. What is that saying? Do unto others? I am trying to keep that philosophy in mind. Trying to be the better person in spite of my surroundings you know?

I already gave S his card and gift. I asked him if he wanted to wait until tonight or open it this morning? Silly question, huh? He was over the moon. D even woke up early to make her big brother a card. So sweet! I even got a picture of the two of them snuggling and smiling. That NEVER happens.

My attorney just discovered he has a conflict with the de novo hearing date that he was unaware of until now. So now we will have to reschedule that. H will be furious. But that's just par for the course.

Let's hope today is a better day.

WH