Peacetoday...very good thoughts you mentioned. It doesn't always benefit the children if it's toxic. I don't see this as my case and thank you for all the points.
W-37 Me-37 M-16yrs & 5days W "Done" Day = Valentine Day 2014 D-8/13/2014 S16 S13 S11 D8
I have been under the weather fighting a cold. For the first time I am actually glad the kids are with their dad as much as I miss them. I can rest and relax and recover. There is no rest when taking care of kids. I have noticed that even when I don't have "placement" I am still busy taking care of things for them. I am starting to get better at doing things for me when the kids are with their dad.
So D got her picture in the newspaper for being in the performance with the New York Ballet last weekend. I didn't even know she was on the front page until S's GF texted him a picture of it. But then it was two days later and the paper was off the stands. So I emailed the newspaper office to see if they still had copies available. And they knew exactly which picture I was talking about. They couriered two copies of the newspaper to their other branch which is closer to where I work. I picked them up on my lunch yesterday and took one to S's soccer game last night for H. Yes, yes. I bought him a copy. It was only $1.00. And I figured he is her father and he would be excited and proud too, so I did the right thing. I handed him the newspaper and he was so excited to see her on the front page. He couldn't fake that and I knew it was genuine. He said "WH this is so awesome! You should have gotten two copies!" I said I did. That one is for you. He just looked at me. BUT he didn't say thanks. I didn't expect him too. But he was happy I did that for him. He was incredulous. He asked me how I knew about the picture and I explained it to him. He was really nice to me for the rest of the evening. It won't last I know. But even in times of trial and fire one needs to be true to themselves.
Yes I could have been stingy and mean and vindictive. Lord knows I have every reason to be. But I decided I am not going to let this divorce or the way H has treated me define who I am. I would hope H would have done the same in my shoes, but I don't expect it. First of all, H isn't resourceful enough to have found that picture. Not enough people like him. LOL.
So I feel good about myself for today. For doing the right thing in the face of adversity. But no expectations. I only did it because it was the right thing to do.
In other news I have the locale reserved and the cake ordered for S's 13 BDAY. Invites have been sent and my mom and brother are coming up for the big weekend. That will be interesting since H hasn't seen or talked to anyone in my family since before BD. I am not sure if I should give H a heads up or not? I know he will be extremely uncomfortable. Not my problem, but I am hoping he doesn't bring OW to the party. Not sure if he would. If he knows my family will be there, he won't bring her for sure. Oh...if my mom gets around OW there will be sparks for sure. YIKES! I don't want to spoil S's party with drama. My mom won't start anything but then again as my mom gets older she tends to speak what she thinks more and more. If H says or does anything stupid (which let's be honest is very likely to happen) I don't know if my mom can keep her filter on.
In other news has anyone ever made a gazing ball? People at work think I am nuts for even suggesting it. But it seems like a cool project to me. I found directions to make homemade tiki lamps and I am definitely taking on that one. I am going to have the kids make stepping stones too. I've been wanting to do this for a long time, and that time has come.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
I'm so tickled to read that your d's picture was in the paper. I think you did the right thing in purchasing two copies and giving one to your h. It was a very nice gesture and I do hope that somewhere in that cold heart of his, he'll remember the kind gesture and will do something nice for you one day soon. It showed him that no matter what he's done, you were still being kind to him. That says a lot about you.
Sounds like your son's party is coming together. I think I would mention your family coming closer to the time. You never know what might happen between now and then. Just remember, the day is about your son and if your mother wants to have a nice chat w/your h, she'll know how to handle it and when to do it. LOL!
Give me some clues on what a glazing ball is and I'll ask around in my neck of the woods about it.
Take care of yourself and try to get some rest this weekend.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Please let me know if I am overreacting. I don't think I am, but I do have a tendency to overreact.
So S calls me frantic and upset. H told D to take the bus home again and not go to daycare. I ask S how often this happens and S says it happens most Thursdays and Fridays when their dad has placement. H and I have discussed this before and I told him D needs to be in daycare. S and D fight like cats and dogs and it is not good for S to watch D. It never ends well.
S told me D ran off. They got into an argument and D ran away. S had to go after her. S tried to call H and H wouldn't answer the phone. I was P*SSED!!! So I called H. No answer. But ole WH doesn't give up that easily. I called and redialed until he picked up. He answers "yes" in a really snarky way. I told him what happened and he said he was on another important call. Really? More important than the kids? I told him again what was going on and he said he would call S and he hung up on me. Oh I don't think so. I tried to tell him that D should go to daycare and S can't watch her etc...he just brushed me off. So I sent him an email. BCC'd my attorney and the GAL letting them know just what the h*ll was going on.
So I am shaking. I call the attorney who tells me to call the cops and investigate and he will follow up with the GAL. So I call S who isn't answering his dam phone either. My mind is racing. S finally answers and says he and D are walking back to the house and that H finally called him and is on the way home. I asked to talk to D but she knew I was mad and didn't want to talk. It's gonna be a long night.
I don't know what to do. I signed that dam parenting agreement. This is why I refused to do 50/50. H doesn't have the sense God gave him. I need talked down off the ledge.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
WH, I know it's scary and frustrating...however, you've done all you can for the moment. You've contacted your lawyer and the GAL is being made aware of it. That's all you can do. Trying to speak to your h isn't going to get you anywhere. Document the incident and when you have the children again, sit them down and have a talk w/them about what happened and especially talk to your daughter about the dangers of running away can possibly do to her.
Your h is not going to listen to you...but he will have to listen to the authorities when this comes up in the very near future.
Breathe! Your children are now safe and back home.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
As I have said in the past, H can do to me what he will do. But the kids are more important. I know H will not listen to me. I don't know WHY for the love of pete he insists on not having D in daycare. It's $9 a day for God's sake. And even if she is only in daycare on my days, he still has to pay half of it, like it or not.
The most frustrating part is thinking the courts won't care. We have a signed agreement but there is nothing in that agreement about D going to daycare. Dam I thought I had everything covered.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
I could just throttle your h. No sense whatsoever.
You might want to check out the daycare and see just what is being paid. If your daughter isn't going there on his days, he might be getting a reduction...something just isn't right w/this deal.
When you sit the kids down, advise your son that if this happens again to call 911 and state that your daughter has run off and he doesn't know where she's gone and I would tell your daughter that the police will be called the next time she pulls such a stunt.
She's a very lucky little girl. There are so many children being snatched these days and it's just not safe for them to be out there alone, especially a little girl on the run.
I know you were scared and angry at the same time, but you don't want her to do this again.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Add me to the list of wanting to throttle H's neck!
I am not sure about the advice to your S to call 911 as it places an undue adult burden on him. If this happens again, I'd advise S to call you and then you can call 911. I don't think D will be pulling this stunt again after this stern-talking to...I'd ask D why she felt the need to run away. I'd be interested in learning the real underlying reason for this behavior.
H gets a 10% discount because he is on the daycare board. But we pay $9 a day. If she isn't there, we don't pay. And we have to split the daycare cost 50/50. He has to pay if she isn't there just the same as I do. I have a statement from them so I know what is being billed.
H has complained about daycare from the day we had S. I got so sick and tired of hearing him b*tch about it. Finally I couldn't take it anymore and I told him to shut the f*ck up about it and until the day he or I could quit our jobs that he just needed to suck it up and deal.
I will tell S next time D runs away to call the police and I will tell D that as well. I should tell H that but he won't listen to me anyway.
I am just so enraged by all this. H always has to learn everything the hard way!!! For God's sake what the h*ll has to happen for him to grow the f*ck up and be a parent???
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
Wonka, I agree w/you about the calling WH first and she can call 911. Definitely have a talk w/both of them and find out what transpired and why she ran away. Has she ever done anything like this before?
I hate to say this, but I would love to be a fly on the wall over at your h's place this afternoon. I'm sure he madder than an old wet hen about the situation...but what's his problem with daycare on Thursday and Fridays? Does he stay late or is he trying to cut corners on his finances?
Here, we thought things had settled down and you'd get some rest. I'm just glad both kids are safe. That's what is important.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
