This is going sound weird. But, every time I watch the Long Island Medium, I think how I wish I could talk to Smokey. One time, I even said it out loud to D19. I told her how I wondered if a person's soul could sorta die while still on earth and whether someone like the medium could communicate with him. Ya know? Like, does his soul stay with our kids even though this really sick, sad part of himself isn't physically here. There have been moments when I've felt him nearby, not so much anymore, but sometimes I wonder. Sounds weird.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
He is gone. No fireworks. He is back to looking like a teenager. He spent Two hours with D11and didn't interact with me except for a hello. Didn't seem angry or mean.
Left without saying Goodbye. Gave me a book about chickens--I assume it was from his mom.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Sounds like things went okay w/his interactions w/his D11. Well, at least he said hello to you.
What's w/the book about chickens? Does his mother raise them too? I wonder if that's a peace offering from her? LOL!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
He was all about D11! It was nice to see. I actually had a bit of a break! Now, who knows if I will receive some terrible blow later in the week as retribution, but, as of now, it would appear that his family heard--at least-- part of what I said and acted.
This wasn't Smokey's designated Saturday, that would have been next weekend.
I was really struck by how much he was looking like a college student/high school student again. I had a boy student here and Smokey looked more adolescent than boy. lol! Smokey is all teen.
But, he gave D11 his undivided attention. I was impressed and I didn't make a single suggestion or intervene once. I let him have at it.
The mom of the student gave me flowers which was God's way of saying "It's going to be Ok Heather." :-) It meant so much. The mom was appreciating my work with her son. In that moment, when I received the flowers, I realized how dumb Smokey is being for letting me go. It really IS HIS LOSS.
I'm pretty GD awesome and he just can't see it. It felt good to display my flowers. I felt appreciated for being the woman I am, as opposed to trying to be someone he will eventually appreciate.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
And, it was nice to have Smokey here when a client gave me flowers for being good at what I do--which is basically being a good mom and teacher. I was appreciated. And, the flowers were my monument for standing firm in being a good mom and teacher while putting up with Smokey's crap.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
So, I rolled with it this week while the stepdad brought him on Wednesday. He came unprepared and I did the majority of the work, which isn't the arrangement we made. But, ok, I was cool with it.
Then, Mom came yesterday.
I noticed some things while Mom and difficult student (DS) interacted. Mainly, I noticed that mom is crazy.
She is this, from the outside, a hippie/yoga lovin/earth mother/let's all get along kinda person. In reality, however, she is somewhat neglectful and puts way to much pressure on her son and seems, mainly, concerned more about LOOKING like she is an earth mother than actually being one. I see a woman who is not quite right in the head.
She is teeny-tiny but has the claws of a lion when threatened.
So, she comes and she is completely unprepared. They still don't have the new workbooks that I was promised two weeks ago. DS finished the work in the workbooks we started two months ago. He is FLYING through his material. I'm so pleased with his progress. Couldn't be happier.
This week, however, I noticed some major backtracking. He was back to difficult and not listening. Guess how he was when mom was here? TERRIBLE. AWFUL.
Job, you were right, something is going on here and I can't pinpoint it.
There's more to the story.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
I give mom her list of ToDo's. They go through the material as I suggest. I sense that mom is putting on something of a "show" for me though. She is doing her utmost to look perfectly earth motherly in my eyes. Whatever. I'm cool with it. They get the work done. DS is difficult, wayyyy worse than normal.
I catch him saying something disrespectful to his mother and call him on it. I handle it, he apologizes and it's over, right?
I hear her in the next room talking all tree hugging crap and and all you need is love and on and on and on and on and on...I mean she cannot let it go. She is saying stuff like, "DS, it hurts my feelings when you talk to me like that. You don't like it when people talk to you like that, do you? That's not how we talk to people. You need to do this and you need to do that and she goes on like this for 20 minutes!! I'm thinking, "Ok, we now know why DS is troubled."
She belabors this single issue forever and she gives him nervous jitters by making it so much BIGGER than it really is. This boy is trying really hard to please her and she still doesn't get it.
The nanny told me that she doesn't give him the time of day during a normal day. I see that, I think she parents when she is "On."
So, anyway, I get this text last night around 9:30...
Crazy client: Did you let DS watch Spiderman?
Me: Yes, I did.
CC: Was it the PG-13 version?
Me: Yes.
CC: He is nine.
Me: I'm sorry if this upsets you, I should have asked. I apologize. I try to give him a 15-20 min reward to end his day.
Now, since DS started here, I have given him a reward to end his work. At first, it was Zelda for 15 minutes, then, I allowed a movie. The boy came to me knowing everything (characters, plot, subplots) of The Hobbit and we were studying The Hobbit novel at the time...so, I allowed him to watch The Hobbit.
Once he finished The Hobbit, he asked about Spiderman. The nanny said it was ok, so, I used it in 15 min increments.
I can understand why she is upset. Frankly, I might be upset too. This isn't something I normally do with students. In fact, he is the first, but I desperately needed something to reward him with and this was what he chose. And, this is a boy who has used the F... word to ME more than once. So, I guess I didn't think it would be a big deal. And, I thought I had mentioned it to her before. Guess not. Oops.
Well, she is PISSED.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
I texted to CC: Would you like to talk on the phone today?
No response.
Me: CC?
No response.
I'm going to email her.
I hope this doesn't put my writing and this student's tuition at risk. I, especially, hate that it may screw up this boy's progress. I'm thinking she is venting out loud about me and nanny this weekend. Great. That will help me work with him.
Her last text to me last night:
CC: I'm disappointed, surprised and I don't quite know what to say.
Me: I'm sorry you feel that way. I guess I kinda feel the same.
I think I will send an email apologizing again, but also pointing out the progress we've made.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
