H moving out tomorrow

[Cadet]

Yeah its not my playground and not my rules.

[TL72*]

so today I get an email from my insurance company stating that my renters insurance is now ready. I don't rent, I own this home, so I know that it is HIS renters insurance on his apartment. I forwarded him the email and stated simply "can you please move this on to your own account, it showed up on mine"
10 minutes later he calls me, I let it go to voicemail. I go to get the voicemail and he calls again, so I went ahead and answered. He wants to know why it showed up on my account when he did it online only logged into his account. I said I don't know, I don't work there. I wasn't nasty about it but he was already angry. Of course this is my fault even though HE is the one that did it. He can't understand how this happened so I just said call them and ask them to move it to your number. He doesn't know his number, I said go online and click on profile and it will give you your own number. He is flustered and doesn't want to call them and hangs up on me. Ok fine. He calls back 5 minutes later and wants to know if I already cancelled it because he can't see it on there. I said no I did not. I said you just need to call them and he was angry because "what's the point of having a website when I have to call anyway" and he curses and hangs up on me again. Then he emails me and says "cancel the f*&*ing insurance" I email him back and say "no it's your insurance, you have to cancel it" why would I cancel it - geez man, grow up and take care of yourself!!! I didn't say that, i'm just irritated that he's all angry and putting it on me. No way i'm cleaning up his mess. Ok vent over. back to MY life

[BrightFuture]

TL, he reminded me of my H at certain times, an angry man. He is probably so deep in Lala land that he doesn’t remember how he set up the insurance and he is irritated that he has to deal with it.

Good job handling the matter. Let him stew on his own.

[Georgiabelle]

Yes, TL.....remember that everything can be your fault according to the MLCer. Rain, the price of gas, etc.

[job]

I had a very similar situation 3 years after I was divorced. I came home one day and we both have State Farm Insurance, but because we now live in different areas, his is in his area, etc. So, I come home one day and it's State Farm leavening a message about his 2004 Monte Caro and to please call their office. I did return the call and was advised that he had given them my home number and to call him there. When I told them he hadn't lived here since 1999, they were shocked. So, I emailed him to call them.

See, they do stupid stuff like this. Sometimes, it's not intentional and other times, it's a roundabout way to tell you what they are doing or they want to see if you still care and will relay messages.

As we all say here, you will get blamed for the full moon w/ET circling it. Don't drink the Kool-Aid that they serve up.

[TL72*]

Thanks for your posts guys Last night at 9pm he texted me and said "sorry i was so mean today, I just don't have time to mess with these phone calls" I didn't respond. today the insurance company called me after talking to him and straightened it all out, then H called me not long after when he didn't really need to - I think it was a "touch & go" just sort of seeing that I was still around. I kept it very business like. I am surprised how much he "forgets". It just really reinforces the fact that he's in MLC. I have no doubt about that. Now i'm going dark again - definitely not riding his roller coaster.

[T-boned]

Hey TL,

I've been away for quite a while. Just checked in for a bit and want to tell you how proud I am of you for how well you are handling this.

My comment is maybe your H might be reacting the way he is/has because the final date is getting near? I wonder if the reality of the whole thing is starting to hit home.

Stay strong my friend. I can see you are capable! Thinking of ya!

[TL72*]

Thanks T-boned, I really appreciate your words of support! Really helps me along. It has been sort of down days for me which i think comes from the interaction with H. I'm better when we're dark. I had to email him last night regarding the health insurance, he's on my insurance until we're divorced so he has been paying me his half every 2 weeks (it comes out of my paycheck). I gave him the amount due and said he could mail it if he wished, that I would leave it up to him. He responded "what's this insurance for?" he didn't even remember that the health insurance was taken out of my check even though he's been paying it every 2 weeks since we separated checking accounts months ago. I know he's following the MLC script but I still find it surprising that he can forget everything, just shows how wrapped up he is in his own life. Whatever, I reminded him what it was for and now hopefully he'll remember to pay me back for it. On a bright note, there's a support group i may go to tonight, Friday night I was invited out with girlfriends, and Saturday my dad is coming to town for visit for my brother's birthday - so I have stuff going on and feel like i'm GAL. Life must go on!

[Georgiabelle]

TL,

You sound like you are doing so well-particularly considering how quickly everything transpired in you stich. The MLCers are a wacky bunch. H asked D9 and S4 the other morning if I took the to Boy Scouts with S10. Hello??? Where would they be if they weren't with me?? Not home alone...geez.

[TL72*]

Hey GB,
I really thought I was doing well until I went to divorce group last night. It took a lot for me to go, i had to talk myself into it. I'm an introvert, groups are not my thing. I was fine until we had to introduce ourselves and say our story a bit and I started to cry. I was so embarrassed. Then another guy cried so I didn't feel so bad. There's only 4 of us and the counselor. It's more of a workshop on rebuilding after divorce. 2 of them were further along than me, 1 man was more in my sitch, his wife initiated and his isn't final yet either. Mine is final next Friday. Then later I was asked something about these feelings we were discussing and I ended up rambling off about my H being in mid life crisis which I could tell they probably thought I was just in denial. I just sort of started talking and had to tell myself to shut up, I was so embarrassed after because I could barely talk without tears. I haven't cried about it in a month. Now I am thinking about it constantly all over again, like I scratched off what little scab I had managed. We meet every Wednesday for 5 more weeks and I have a book and a workbook. Hopefully by the end I will at least know more what I need to do for myself. It's hard when others don't understand MLC. It's hard to explain that you're sort of holding hope and not sound like an idiot. Next week I will try and control my emotions better and not spout off about his craziness. I did ask the counselor about individual counseling, she happens to be on the list I was given by my primary care doctor so I think i'm ready to tackle that now too. That's another place where I fear to go but facing my fears is a good thing. I felt good about going to this meeting just because I did it and didn't wuss out. I was feeling angry that I even had to go. they say it will take 3-5 years just to heal from a divorce, and that's not taking into consideration the MLC. ugh.