You didn't do anything. You were just answering his own question. He was rude and you didn't deserve that reaction at all. This one is on him, totally.
So this caused me to try and talk to him which caused him to talk in "im done mode" split the assets, needs to get away from me. Came home an dd is gone which worried us, left her shoes, coat at home He's searching the neighborhood calling her name. in his truck. Well the neighbor women across the street ( I think he's having a affair with her anyway) walks up to his truck across the street and come to find our daughter is in her house. They talk for several minutes and I cant hear. Than he comes home and accuses me of not caring about missing dd and starts to walk away from me. I follow him and he goes out the front door, leaves in his truck. I was so upset that I walk across the street to talk to the ow , really dont know if she's eo or pay but I felt crazed.
The reason my dd was at her house is because she also has a dd and they are freinds. So I find out ow is at a bar with her gf and I talk to her husband about some of my problems with h and concerns really not saying too much about what I really think because I don't know his thoughts and hoping he can shed some light .
He tells me his w filed for divorce in nov, that they sleep in separate rooms, and that he cant control her, and wouldn't be able to anyway. Than he told me what bar his w is at and suggested i drive through the parking lot to see if my h was with her. He had told me on the phone he was going somewhere else. I went against db and drove to bar and h truck was there. So upset!
Continued: After I saw husbands truck at the bar with ow I went back to ow h house to let him know he was right and they were together.
I really dont know what this man thinks so I cant just blurt out anything. So ow h starts to laugh and tells me "you know he has another cell phone don't you?" Stomach sunk and I ask him how do you know this?
"I know" as he gets on his computer and starts looking at some phone log for the number. He has me write it down and tells me it was bought at Walmart.
So I tell ow h this isnt like him, and some woman has bought him this phone with his reply "not my wife". Now I do know he also thinks something is going on between them, and they have had many fights over this very thing.
He goes on to ask me if me and my h still are intimate. ( strange question) coming from man that didnt want to elaborate anything to me. Unless he wants to tell his wife we are sleeping together as some kind of ammunition towards his wife to hurt her.
Yes I am reading db and have had 4 coaching sessions. I keep getting pulled into these emotionally charged pursuing conversations with h. Coach says he is pushing my buttons and enjoys causing me pain. Trying so hard :
Continued: I woke up in a panic the next morning and h was in bed next to me asleep. Waited and drank coffee, talked to sister and soon I would have to leave for work. Just couldn't stop myself from asking where he ended up last night, in which he lied. Said if he's gonna get accused of sleeping around he might as well do it. Started calling me names, b-word, c-word evil, started telling me were done! Went to work crying my eyes out.
First thing I would recommend is that you change your name. If you call yourself "stressed" you will always be stressed. Change it to something more positive.
Next, your coach is right. That's why you need to get yourself as strong as possible. Physically, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. Get ready to stand strong on your own so that no matter what he does it won't affect you.
What I did in my case when my W was at her worst was I imagined her as being one of those "crazy" people that I would see yelling and muttering to themselves. It got me to the point where no matter what she said, I could chuckle at, shake my head in pity at her and then continue on my way. Your H's words hurt because you put weight and meaning to them. You can avoid all that.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
First thing I would recommend is that you change your name. If you call yourself "stressed" you will always be stressed. Change it to something more positive.
Next, your coach is right. That's why you need to get yourself as strong as possible. Physically, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. Get ready to stand strong on your own so that no matter what he does it won't affect you.
What I did in my case when my W was at her worst was I imagined her as being one of those "crazy" people that I would see yelling and muttering to themselves. It got me to the point where no matter what she said, I could chuckle at, shake my head in pity at her and then continue on my way. Your H's words hurt because you put weight and meaning to them. You can avoid all that.
. Thank you MrBond
Your somewhat of a big deal around here and appreciate your suggestions.
My coach thinks I have abandonment issues and must realize those feelings of panic leads directly to pursuing behavior from a traumatizing experience in my childhood.
Work was impossible with me crying on and off all day, later on I went to a bar with my employer trying to help calm down
I don't even drink so this is more out of control actions to try to avoid the pain.
Started drunk dialing my adult son ( not my h child) telling him of my fears that h has ow. Probably shouldn't have done that since now son is all worried about me and wanting to beat my h up. I called h also to tell him I wasn't coming home till I slept it off, he said he didn't care what I did, and started yelling at me for something my dd needed for school, saying not to worry because even though I don't care about her, he took care of it.
It was ridiculous and he is trying to turn her against me.
