Something I've learned through this process is that not all gifts look like gifts when you first receive them. It's only with time that you realize the magnitude of the gift.
My peace be with you.
((( )))
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
This writing really helps me keep the OW in perspective. I took it from The Lighthouse thread, originally written by Smurf. You can find the whole thing in the "MLC Resources in One Thread."
Quote:
Your spouse is in huge conflict. The good news is; and the truth is that they are totally incapable of a healthy relationship with anyone right now. The competition that we believe exists with the Other Person is a shallow, empty reflection of God's light in this world. It is empty and lonely no matter how good the rush.
Their actions are actions that they themselves do not like in themselves right now. Though the need to go back again and again and attempt to prove themselves wrong or right is strong, they do not like what they are doing.
Their actions toward you, the children, the Other Person, and themselves, as well as God, keep them from engaging in any type of real interaction with any real depth and truth.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
So, you said that she’s been after him for some time. Well, I guess she is that kind of a woman who likes married men, hangs around, flirts, waits for her chance. I’ve seen a few of those in my life. I could never understand why somebody would do this.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Who cares? As long as I never feel as low as that, I'm doing ok.
So H has asked me on 2 dates today. He was standing skin to skin in a very long queue while out Christmas shopping. This was after we'd separated to finish our shopping then he spotted me and insisted on coming with me.....
Then when we returned home we had planned that he would help me with the present wrapping but he decided to go home instead because of the high winds. He sat on the end of my bed and cried. I didn't know what to say to him. I asked if he was ok. He just said it was Christmas. I didn't know what else to say.
Once he'd gone I had a look at the present he'd left for me and the tag reads 'keep up the good work and thanks for everything'. What on earth is that supposed to mean?
M32 H37 DD1 6 DD2 5 M6 T10 EA 31.08.13 Separated and H moved out 19.09.13 ILYBINILWY 23.09.13 OW 11.13
I may be wrong, but I *think* it might mean "thanks for not completely kicking me in the nuts and throwing me out of your life even though I really deserve it" ...But he can't say something clear and obvious like that. :P
So, go ahead and just pretend it says that. It would be more appropriate.
me-35 WAS-37 T-16 1/2 Son-14 (HF Aspergers) BD,ILYBINILWY,"I met my soulmate": Oct5,2013 "Letting go because I love him, holding on because I love him."
Tiger, you made me laugh… I was at a loss how to interpret the message. CC, I think your H is such a bif mess right now that you don’t need to put any thought about what that message might mean. I bet, if you save it and show it to him a year from now, he would not know what to say.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
It may be about me getting back to exercise. It's always been a big part of our lives. Him a sportsman and me a 'fighting the inner fat girl'. But for the past year I'd let myself go. I'd stopped running and started getting bigger and looking 'not good!'
Now I'm running again and looking in the best shape I've been for years. Whereas he's looking the worst he's ever looked.
I suspect inside the present is something to help with fitness.....I'll tell you once Santa has been!
M32 H37 DD1 6 DD2 5 M6 T10 EA 31.08.13 Separated and H moved out 19.09.13 ILYBINILWY 23.09.13 OW 11.13
