Nice job of pulling together all of the human emotions into one page....not easy! It is a journey, not a destination. It is important to follow your own pace that you are MOST comfortable with as you go through each stage in facing your fears and making the courageous changes for YOU. We cannot RUSH this process.
Me 47/W 34 T 16 M 13 No kids BD 6/2013 W asked that I move out 6/2013 I moved back and W is upset with this 12/2013 separate beds not much talking Served D Complaint 5/2014 W moved out 9/27/2014
Fear consumed me. It still does some times. But i see it now i feel it and sense it. Im still learning me. I forget that i have strenghts. U know, its human nature to focus on the negatives. Specially after peeing myself after a long ride hahahaha oh man what weekend. Love you brother
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
CW – Thank you. It really is a process and it is in many ways different for each person. Each of us has our own issues to deal with in our own timeline. IMO, the key is just to recognize the fear and see if you can dig deep to really understand where it is coming from. You may not always be able to “fix” it per se..but you can recognize it and teach yourself better ways to deal with it. Hope all is well you with.
Bustingout –
Quote:
No fear. That's how I want to live. You made me see how much I still look towards h instead of looking right smack in the face of me.
If that is what you want….then really just try and live it. Step by step, day by day. For me, I found that if I really spent all my time looking inside myself, that I really did not have any time or energy for that matter worrying about what my ex was or was not doing. That’s not to say, that some of her actions did not pis* me off. They did. I just learned to feel it, recognize why I was feeling what I was feeling and then I just let it go. Now, that may seem easy – but it is not. As long as YOU know that you are doing your best. That is all that really matters. Never lie to yourself. Learn to be brutally honest with yourself..even if it hurt. THe end result (at least for me) was that you really get to know YOU.
Drew – my man! That was actually a short post 
Job – I hope people will read it too.
Labug – thank you for stopping by…FEAR is indeed the enemy. Man, I can remember being paralyzed by it. Held freaking hostage, lying to myself…once ya face it..man do all sort of bells and whistle start to go off. Congrats on your piecing – good luck. I’ve kept an eye on your posts..you have all the tools you need.
BkylnMom – My first response is ……”Yo Brooklyn!” LOL. How often do we fight change? I know I did a lot and hell sometimes still do. Learning to really just go with the flow (not to be mistaken for sitting around and waiting for things to happen)…and just enjoy life is a freeing experience. Ya know, I tell my fiancé this all the time. We all worry about work, finances, kids,…life. Why? There is only but so much we can really change or control. So I just try to live it the best way I can.
Loualea – You really do not need the post. Just promise yourself to be honest with yourself, to understand the really reason for why you feel the way you do, promise yourself to always try and be positive. To always do the right thing. Everything else will kinda fall into place in it’s own time. It’s not like..if I do x, y and Z – then 123 will happen. It’s more like…”I’m gonna be happy today and live the best way I can”.
Tbm4evr – you are welcome. “what you are saying is exactly what I am trying to do”. I’m not trying to put any pressure on you. Reading your response reminding me of something someone use to say to me – “to try is to fail – to do is to succeed”. Hmmm…as I think about it, what comes to mind is that remove the word “try” from your statement and just …be YOU. Never try to be perfect, just be the authentic YOU. Believe it or not. That really is enough.
3boyzmom – Your welcome.
Gabbysmom – Thank you. I have some of the same challenges that many of us have. Kids drama. Baby mama drama. All sorts of chit. I think the biggest difference is….I understand me…and I love me (I know sounds conceited – I’m not). I ACCEPT me for me. I ACCEPT that I will make mistakes. I ACCEPT that I will always be a work in progress. I ACCEPT that I can choose to lie to myself – I choose not too. You GM are a success as are many of you.
uRworthy – You know me ohh so well. You and other pushed me and pushed me. For that I am forever grateful! If I rock…well then you…ummm…”super rock”. Or “totally rock”…maybe “totally rock like a super rock”. Ya know…sometime I wish people really understood just how special you are. BTW, just wondering….want a blueberry muffin (inside joke).
Wonka – Yes we cannot rush it. We also should not postpone it either. In terms of being comfortable with the pace. I agree on one hand on the other….I say…do not let the feeling of uncomfortable stop you from digging deep. That was my problem. It was too painful for a while….actually a long while. It was much easier to stay the course and in my little comfort zone. Stepping out was, at least for me, the best thing I did. Oh BTW, you ever gonna respond to me on your last thread?
Nit84 – thank you.
Rick1963 – My brother from another mother….FTR, I really can’t believe you peed yourself. I was cracking up though. Fear is always gonna be around. Chit I still face it – often – but I do not run from it, rather I really try to understand it. Learning oneself takes time. Much like, my comment life is a river. We are too like a river. How we feel today may or may not be how we feel tomorrow. So why in the world do we limit our thinking? Why do we put ourselves in a box? So life, like each of us…are and will continue to change OR then again I guess we could remain stuck. Love ya bro. See you soon.
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Eric and Rick, I laughed this weekend til I almost peed MY pants. Just sayin....You guys are amazing, funny, exceptional people.
Eric, thank you for your kind words, really and truly. So glad to be able to call you friend. Boy, what a conversation during our hours and hours in the car. Such good stuff.
You have looked fear right in the eye, stared it down, took the air out of it.
We will always have things we fear at different times of our lives, but, it is all in how you confront it that matters.
When we become who we were meant to be, when we realize our strength and our courage, it is then that we can challenge it. By looking at it full on, analyzing it, dissecting it, until it loses its power.
Eric, thanks so much ...you are so right ...what you are saying is exactly what I am trying to do. Just so hard when you have lived life a certain way for 20+ years. I loved it the way it was and fear change.
TBM, I know what you speak of, and this is NORMAL! I said the same things. It takes time to accept, to let go, to adjust. Please be gentle on yourself as you travel on your journey. I know it's difficult to see now, but you really will be ok in the end. Focus on you.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
