Wife emailed me not to long ago wanting to know what happened with my appointment with attorney. She said she is at the end of her rope with this. She wants me to follow up with her on my refinancing of the house which I won't be doing, haven't told her yet and her last comment was " it's time to make a move. " Shes made her move. She went out of town for 4 days and I didn't find out till the day she was leaving where she was going. Not that I'm snooping around cause I know the OM is still in the picture but now she has his T-shirt she wears to bed. How much more can she kick me down ? She has been warmer to me but now this email. I told her a week ago I know what has to be done but it hurts to let go. She made a comment how if she knew it would work she would try. Yea!! With the OM in the picture? So tonight in going to speak with her in the settlement agreement and the refinancing. If she wants out that bad, there's the door. I really want to just go off on her and tell her how she has affected everyone around her with her MLC.
M 43 W 35 S 6 BD 7-11 Served 5-2-13 Sep agree signed 5-12-14 Wife moves out pending refinance 5-14-14 Divorce hearing set May 2 Divorced May 2
The other day spoke with w about my appointment with attorney and went over about the house. She wants to make a move quick on this and the settlement agreement. I told her I still don't know about my refinancing and that theres the door. She responded I can't live like this any more and that she can qualify. I tensed up and told her if she can't live like this the door is there get the **** out till we decide and walked away. The next day she was warm and started going over our agreement. What a pushy woman !! Did I do the right thing ?
M 43 W 35 S 6 BD 7-11 Served 5-2-13 Sep agree signed 5-12-14 Wife moves out pending refinance 5-14-14 Divorce hearing set May 2 Divorced May 2
She wants me to follow up with her on my refinancing of the house which I won't be doing
Why won't you be doing it, are you hoping to delay D? Don't do anything to obstruct the D, it will just fester resentment in your W. As hard as it is, you have to look at this as a business transaction. Deal with it in a professional manner like you would deal with something at work.
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Not that I'm snooping around cause I know the OM is still in the picture but now she has his T-shirt she wears to bed. How much more can she kick me down ?
You mean her wearing a particular shirt to bed is "kicking you down"? Ask yourself this- is that because of her or YOU? My W has never been the least bit interested in any kind of sports. OM is a Texas Rangers fan, now suddenly W is wearing Rangers shirts now and then and put a Rangers collar on MY dog when it was visiting her house with the kids, LOL! It just makes me roll my eyes, but doesn't affect my PMA in any way. It needs to be the same for you, just shrug at how silly it is and keep living your life.
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I really want to just go off on her and tell her how she has affected everyone around her with her MLC.
But you won't, right?
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The other day spoke with w about my appointment with attorney and went over about the house. She wants to make a move quick on this and the settlement agreement. I told her I still don't know about my refinancing and that theres the door. She responded I can't live like this any more and that she can qualify. I tensed up and told her if she can't live like this the door is there get the **** out till we decide and walked away. The next day she was warm and started going over our agreement. What a pushy woman !! Did I do the right thing ?
Again, treat it like a business transaction. You're letting your feelings get in the way, and that is NOT attractive to her. Be cool, calm, professional. Discuss it like adults, not like a pouty kid.
Thanks AnotherStander. On the refinancing. I am looking at as a business move and it would hurt me financially if I keep it. On the shirt. I guess I can try to look at it in a silly way. I want to go off on her but I won't and haven't in two and a half years going thru this. I have been discussing this as adults and telling her I know it has to be done but not what I want. Some people have told me I have been too nice about this. She agreed to go to co parenting therapy. The counselor I picked has been divorced but not by her choice and is familiar w DB. She asked me what I wanted out if this and told her one for our s and to also indirectly some how maybe she will wake up.
M 43 W 35 S 6 BD 7-11 Served 5-2-13 Sep agree signed 5-12-14 Wife moves out pending refinance 5-14-14 Divorce hearing set May 2 Divorced May 2
We have our first co parenting session tomorrow and my appointment before that w my attorney. This morning she told me to get w her as soon as I figure out what to change to let her know and she will have her attorney change what ever. Wow. Pushy. Isn't she. My sister in law told me the other day that I was pushing her buttons and my sister in law said "Good". This is her sister. Anyway. Just going thru the motions. It's still hard to swallow that we are at this point.
M 43 W 35 S 6 BD 7-11 Served 5-2-13 Sep agree signed 5-12-14 Wife moves out pending refinance 5-14-14 Divorce hearing set May 2 Divorced May 2
Need advice!! W sent me a text today to see if I have plans with s on Sunday. This is my weekend. Her cousin is having a cookout then and wants to take our s. so he can play w his cousin. She said she wasn't going to go unless s goes and that if we had plans she would understand. My coach has suggested in the past to discuss things w her and negotiate like partners and he has also told me to say no to things. Not to be a yes man all the time. Think I'm going to say no to this one. That we have plans.
M 43 W 35 S 6 BD 7-11 Served 5-2-13 Sep agree signed 5-12-14 Wife moves out pending refinance 5-14-14 Divorce hearing set May 2 Divorced May 2
"Bitter". That's what she still is. Going to be signing sep agree probably by wed and most likely she will file for divorce as soon as she can. She is on a mission. And that's to be out. Well. She's getting it. The woman is lost and she needs help. Anyway. Just venting. The end is near.
M 43 W 35 S 6 BD 7-11 Served 5-2-13 Sep agree signed 5-12-14 Wife moves out pending refinance 5-14-14 Divorce hearing set May 2 Divorced May 2
Last night I told w that I was going to make appointment w attorney to sign. She wants me to go by today. Told her I will see when he's available. She said all u need is a notary. I responded , always in a hurry. She mumbled and asked s if he wanted to go for a walk. I said, yes go for a walk. This morning she text me to let her know when I sign so she can also cause its real tense around the house. She also wants to handle living arrangements ASAP. Sometimes i think do I really want this woman in my life. I am starting to get angry. Don't know if that's good or not.
M 43 W 35 S 6 BD 7-11 Served 5-2-13 Sep agree signed 5-12-14 Wife moves out pending refinance 5-14-14 Divorce hearing set May 2 Divorced May 2
