Just wanted to say hi and tell you how much I appreciate you stopping by my thread and commenting
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
Always gotta the sense that he was a guy divided in two. Half was who he was inherently, while the other half was this addict, selfish, A-hole who felt most comfortable with people like his parents--kinda selfish, mean people who were always out for number one.
Sometimes the opposite is true - maybe he's really just that selfish mean guy, who tried to put on the mask of being a good guy but just couldn't keep it from slipping?
My sister's ex-husband used to appear like the most loving husband, joining in all my sister's interests, affectionate - but behind her back he was bad-mouthing her to his coworkers, left her with a small child, married two more times, leaving another wife with two small kids. He's a sociopath (truly - and it runs in his family) and he was just very good at putting on the mask initially.
I do have a tendency to see the best in people. Even when they are rotten.
My D19 said to me, last spring, when H was coming around and trying to wiggle back into the house. "Mom, I love my dad, but he's really an A$$hole. I don't see why you would ever want him back. He's a jerk."
Hmmmm... Question for myself. Why do I want a jerk? Why have I wasted and continue to waste so much time on someone that even his kids see as a jerk?
I think he tried. I do. I think there's a very endearing, charming, funny quality about him. He wanted to be deeper, more ambitious, nicer... but his addiction and whatever won out. I'm not completely convinced he doesn't have what it takes. But, I'm convinced that, for today, he is absolutely unwilling to become a better person or even try. It's all about him.
M-kay.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Heather, It sounds like to me that the parents don't want to sit down and work w/their son. If that's the case, I really feel bad for the young man. I realize parents are busy, etc., but there's nothing like sitting down w/a child and working w/them if they are having difficulties w/their homework.
The young may did exactly what you asked of him. Sounds to me like the mother is expecting a lot not only from you, but their son as well.
Sometimes being pushy ruins the fun of going to school and learning.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I will say that my son was also one of those who despite being REALLY smart, struggled with math and was very resistant to doing math worksheets.
A lot of it was very psychological with him, that "math is boring" and "math is hard" and he didn't like following the step by step procedures, and that sitting down and looking at a sheet with 30 math problems was mentally overwhelming for him. We used to spend 45 minutes sitting at the table while he whined and fussed and psyched himself out, and did ONE math problem. And then at some point he would muddle through and get the rest done in 20 or 30 minutes.
It took him a long time to realize he was wasting his own time on all the drama, even when I tried to point out to him that he spent more time complaining than actually working. :P
In my son's case I was able to use limited problems as a strategy and incentive. I would cut the worksheets into strips... do the first 5 neatly, correctly and then we will see if you have it down. If you are still struggling I will walk you through another problem and then have you do the next four. Prove you are competent and can do the work consistently and I don't need you to do 30 problems, just 10 or 15.
me-35 WAS-37 T-16 1/2 Son-14 (HF Aspergers) BD,ILYBINILWY,"I met my soulmate": Oct5,2013 "Letting go because I love him, holding on because I love him."
I'm sad. Nothing is happening, no big MLC surprises or anything. Maybe that's it. Nothing is happening. I had an ok day. Busy day. I'm grateful for my income and students and house and kids. I just feel some sad. I feel enormously rejected. Like gigundously rejected by a middle-aged drug addict who is going through a mid-life crisis. He wants nothing to do with me. How come I'm not happy about this?
I should be happy. I should feel lucky. Why is rejection from someone so damaged still so hard for me? Why do I keep hoping? shiz.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Oh, I did some research on Montessori methods, which I like, and I found a Montessori-inspired math program that this mother may like. I would ask that she purchase it.
What's frustrating is that this program comes with a workbook. I have about a billion and a half little math manipulatives. If she would give my suggestion a try, she could see I have everything necessary--already--for what she wants.
I'm not budging on the grammar workbook or the handwriting workbooks. I believe those are two necessary skills and doing two workbooks isn't going to kill this kid. She can take it or leave it.
I will be happy to quote her a price for a full-time job with this boy where he gets to research and touch stuff and explore the world, but I can't see her wanting to pay that.
Otherwise, I will budge on the math. The other stuff stays the same. And, I will continue to provide my awesome History and Language Arts lessons. Awesome being the key word.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Tiger, you sound like another awesome Aspie mom. It's amazing how we get ur done!! We Aspie moms learn, like no other, how to accommodate and stretch and pull and mold our surrounding/life/schoolwork into something our kids can handle. We are soooooooo amazing!!!
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
I'm sad. Nothing is happening, no big MLC surprises or anything. Maybe that's it. Nothing is happening. I had an ok day. Busy day. I'm grateful for my income and students and house and kids. I just feel some sad. I feel enormously rejected. Like gigundously rejected by a middle-aged drug addict who is going through a mid-life crisis. He wants nothing to do with me. How come I'm not happy about this?
I should be happy. I should feel lucky. Why is rejection from someone so damaged still so hard for me? Why do I keep hoping? shiz.
Just wanted to say this struck a chord with me. Just how I feel, too.
Must be normal then, in the face of this sort of weirdness!
