"Actually, I have no idea what you are talking about. Do you ever write a post that isn't critical?"
Sure I do. And this one isn't critical. The thing that I and others posted to you months ago was that if you don't try to work on forgiveness towards your W, you could end up filled with resentment and anger. This is what you're going through now.
"What is it you want me to say or do?"
I don't want you to say or do anything. Just making an observation. It's up to you what you want to do.
"Yes I resent her for causing me to miss my daughters Christmas concert. I resent the manipulation. I resent the conflict. In what world do you live in where this is not a normal reaction?"
The issue is that the two of you are feeding off each others resentment of one another. Both of you can't let go so you're doing things (whether intentional or not) that the other person can't stand which builds more resentment.
It's a never ending wheel until one person decides to stop. Right now the biggest losers are your kids.
It's up to you on whether or not you want to change this dynamic.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
What is it that you think I did, that you want me to "Stop" or "let go of"?
I was at work getting ready to go to a concert. My phone rang, I answered it. I went to the concert, then I went and picked up my daughter. I have no idea how you interpret this as "Feeding off each other" or what you think I am doing to "Build resentment"
I would love to change this dynamic. I have no idea how. My goal for the last 2 weeks was NC. I don't contact her at all, but I still answer the phone. With 3 kids, I feel like I have to. Maybe I should stop.
"I was at work getting ready to go to a concert. My phone rang, I answered it. I went to the concert, then I went and picked up my daughter. I have no idea how you interpret this as "Feeding off each other" or what you think I am doing to "Build resentment""
I'm not talking about this specific situation. I meant your relationship dynamic with your W as a whole. You have three children together. How can you even think of having no contact with your W? They are caught in the middle of the two of you.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
I had the most wonderful time last night. I went ballroom dancing for the first time in 15 years. I danced the west coast, east coast, hustle, rumba, cha-cha, waltz and bachata. I can't believe how quickly it came back.
I must have danced with a dozen woman. Even the dances I didn't know, they dragged me out and taught me. What a blast. I can't wait to go back again next week.
My GAL has caught up with me. 5 soccer games in 9 days, a night out dancing, and several Christmas parties. My body is rebelling. Thank you ibuprofen.
I get my kids back on Sunday. Looking forward to family dinners, homework and bedtime reading.
I went out yesterday and bought some cold weather running gear. I am going to try and keep running through the winter. I have not ran in a month and I can feel it.
I feel your frustration. Keep doing things for yourself. definitely run. The way I see it is that it is your job to make yourself as appealing as possible to everyone. Women, men, be strong confident and at some point your wife will notice what a fool she is for leaving you. Just my opinion.
Wife emotionally checked out 2 years ago ILYBNLWY 2/1/2013 M-48, W-40 D-9 Living together in separation for daughter
Hey Rock. Wondered what happened with you. Sounds like things are progressing.
Quote:
It's a never ending wheel until one person decides to stop. Right now the biggest losers are your kids
Mr B is correct. I lived that same thing. My friends pointed out the same - we were competing. I didn't see it at the time. It caused me all kinds of pain and suffering for no return.
By the description of what's going on, she may have left you but you'll have to be the one to leave her emotionally. She's not letting go of her favorite punching bag any time soon. Why would she?
Let. It. Go. Sooner than later and you'll be glad you did. Your kids will be glad you did too. It must s*ck to live like that between two parents that are fighting like that.
Don't you think?
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
I am not sure what you want me to let go of. We have 3 kids, and are in a 50/50 custody arrangement. I think I am handling things with as much grace as I can.
I sent a letter to my L outlining the issues I have had with her with regards to custody. I need some legal boundaries put in place. Her behaviour is inappropriate.
//It must s*ck to live like that between two parents that are fighting like that.//
Since I moved out, we hardly talk let alone fight. I would personally like to do less of each. Lately the fighting has been between my W and kids.
I am working on leaving her both physically and emotionally. I filed for Divorce, completed all the paperwork, paid my lawyer to draft the agreement, and moved out. The divorce will be final Jan 9th.
Considering BD was last Dec, and I filed July 17th, I think I am "Letting go" at a pretty good pace.
Honestly, I hear the message about forgiveness and resentment loud and clear. I am working on seperating our lives, getting into a workable custody arrangement and moving on emotionally. I am doing it as fast as I can. I am happy with my progress.
//your wife will notice what a fool she is for leaving you. //
I doubt it. My W is very stubborn. She will never look back. She has to prove to the world that she made the right decision and that she is strong enough to stand on her own. She needs to win. To facilitate the divorce, I just let her win.
Also, if she ever did look back, the door has already closed.
