I would worry a little (a lot!) less about "how to behave," and a whole lot more about retaining an attorney. I see that Theoden's excellent advice to you above was not only not followed, but you didn't even respond to him.
Is there a family remember you can borrow the legal funds from? A 401(k) you can tap? Something you can sell? Take out a cash-out re-fi on the house? ANYTHING??
I'm afraid your wife is about to take you to the cleaners in her current state, and with the voices she is listening to in her friends. Please do what you can to protect yourself!!!
Still hoping W is planning to leave my assets alone and not challenge my staying in the house.
You can hope, and you should pray, but sitting around with your finger up your a** while your wife is preparing for a divorce action is going to get you fleeced.
I'm a little confused on how to behave right now. Should I try to talk to her about her plans and hammer out some agreements?
You should,
1. DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT.
2. State what you want.
3. You can state what you want in one of three ways:
A) Get a good divorce attorney (this means war) B) Get your wife to agree to work with a mediator (cheaper) C) Get your wife to agree to get 2 collaborative lawyers. there's a type of law called collaborative law. That means they agree they won't fight it out in court.
Maybe go dim and act like I'm on my own?
No...you are more acting like a deer caught in the headlights. You are about to get hit by a Mack truck driven by your soon-to-be ex wife, her lover(s) while she is egged on by her piece of sh*t friends suggesting she take you to the cleaners. You are about to lose your home, your assets and your children. Certainly to your wife, quite possibly to another man.
Your marriage is pretty much over. Take charge of your life NOW. You get to decide what your life is going to look like from now on. If you don't, your wife will. You are still in denial. The longer you wait to state what you want, the more your life will plot and ruminate and drag you through the deepest hell in your life.
Hi all! Just an update: My wife has moved out and will file for uncontested divorce. I keep mine, she keeps hers and the kids spend half the week with me and half with her. No lawyers, no problems and a Quit Claim Deed!
Vince B M=10 yrs T=13 yrs M45 / H 44 2 Boys 5 & 8 D Day: 7/16/13
If this is what you consider to be an "I told you so" post, I will believe it when I see it, actually written on the paperwork.
I would also tell you that you should run any "uncontested" divorce agreement by your own attorney before signing ANYTHING, but then again you've never listened (or even replied) before, so I suppose you'll probably just do what your feelings tell you to do anyway, so I'll save my breath.
My intent was to share an update regarding my status. I'm feeling really good right now and we have been extremely ammicable through this process. We've never had any knock down drag outs in our history and have always discussed matters in our lives as adults. I realize there are many in this community that have had some significantly negative and devastating outcomes to their situations. I have been confident and continue to be confident that after 12 years with this woman, I have some idea of who she is and how she will proceed. This site and the community helped me through the thoughest times and I'm glad there are people like you on here. I also think that all situations are not the same regardless of how many times the shoe fits! I will conitnue to update and be happy to share the final news when all is said and done.
Doubledown
Vince B M=10 yrs T=13 yrs M45 / H 44 2 Boys 5 & 8 D Day: 7/16/13
