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Greeting Feral Cat followers!

Seems that last thread filled quickly, so this is the new, with a new title theme, as MWD says, sometimes you have to try something new to make progress. The title is taken from on of my favorite RHCP songs: "Can't Stop"

My favorite lyrics:
"Can't stop, addicted to the shindig
Chop top, he says I'm gonna win big
Choose not a life of imitation
Distant cousin to the reservation
Defunct, the pistol that you pay for
This punk, the feeling that you stay for
In time, I want to be your best friend
Eastside love is living on the West End
Knock out, but boy you better come to
Don't die you know the truth is some do
Go write your message on the pavement
Burn so bright, I wonder what the wave meant

Kick start the golden generator
Sweet talk, but don't intimidate her
Can't stop the gods from engineering
Feel no need for any interfering
Your image in the dictionary
This life is more than ordinary
Can I get 2 maybe even 3 of these
Comin' from space
To teach you of the Pleiades
Can't stop the spirits when they need you
This life is more than just a read-through"


And here are the old threads for those interested in a historical perspective... wink

#11 Here: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2366272&page=1

#10 Here: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2360182&page=1

#9 Here: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2360155&page=1

#8 Here: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2353512&page=1

#7 Here: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2339824&page=1

#6 Here: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2323718&page=1

#5 here: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2306709&page=1

#4 here: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2281706&page=1

#3 here: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2281702&page=1

#2 here: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2258452&page=1

#1 here: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2244252&page=1


So grab those clipboards and googles and let's see where this thing goes... lol

smile


In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus

Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm

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hi PON,

Quote:
T2 curiosity question. You ever try talking with W about "swings".


No, Nope, Hell No!

I keep track for MY purposes, so I know what MAY be in the air. If W asks, then I will give her "just the facts ma'am" like a good scientist. No opinion, conjecture, etc.

Sometimes she asks, and has said that she likes that I keep track of these things. But I do it mostly for myself and my sanity... smile


In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus

Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm

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And let's add the chorus in from "Can't Stop" ...

"[Chorus:]
The world I love
The tears I drop
To be part of
The wave can't stop
Ever wonder if it's all for you
The world I love
The trains I hop
To be part of
The wave can't stop
Come and tell me when it's time to"


Yup, some positive vibes from RHCP pick me up always.


In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus

Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm

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I guess with my sitch in the past there were things she thought I did which caused her silent treatment or to withdraw. She thought I was going through her dresser draw ended up being kids. She thought I hacked her PC ended up being a hacker . This came out weeks down road . That y I asked you if you ever ask W if something up when u see drastic changes like I just did or you let it go

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In short I'm asking T have you ever asked "w something bothering you"

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hey hi-

i like your title - soemtimes i think my life is a cheesy "read thru" in a cheesy self help column in a cheesy rag-

it's laughable - if it wasn't so darn miserable on my end sometimes.

oh well huh? perspective is everything - isn't it?

xxo

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I'm just sayin

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Hi PON,

Quote:
In short I'm asking T have you ever asked "w something bothering you"


If I now get your question...lol smile

Yes. Especially during the "anger" infused stage.

"W, you appear to be <insert emotion here>. Is there anything I have done, or not done? Anything I have said, or not said? Anything to do with me?"

-If "no" (usually this was the answer), then my response would be something like:"Ah, okay, if you want to talk or vent about it, or whatever, I'll be in the garage doing X, feel free to let me know"

-If "yes", "I'm sorry. Would you like discuss it more now, or would later be better? I'll be in the garage doing X, feel free to let me know."

~~~Something along those parameters....does that help?

smile


In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus

Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm

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That does help but from experience I'll get

"You know why im like this. I want a D. I can't do this anymore"

Makes me want to say

"Oh ok you weren't like this to me last week"

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It can be tough, sometimes there is no easy solution and you just have to not take it personally. Give the ol' "I'm sorry you feel that way"

Or, say what you think, maybe alter it from:
Quote:
"Oh ok you weren't like this to me last week"


to:
"Hmmm, I don't remember you being like this last week, but I could be wrong."

Notice the difference when you take out the "to me"? How it sounds? You take away the personal so they can't get as defensive (that they are treating YOU poorly) and want to lash back.

Or, you call her on it. "Then leave". And I have done that, 4 times. She is still here.

What do you want to do, PON? Where do you want to go?
What is Plan A, Plan B, Plan C, etc? What do you need to do to implement any of those plans?

You are working on you, then don't take her crap personally first, then decide what and how you are going to respond...what response will get you to YOUR goal?

But first, stop taking it personally, imo. That's tough to do, I know. But if you can find NO reason that YOU caused for her to be that way, then it is HER issue, so it's illogical to take it personally.

But you have to be honest with yourself to be sure that YOU did nothing in reality to "make" her react/act that way. Hope that all makes sense.

Keep going!
smile


In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus

Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm

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