First of all, I really, really want to express my deepest gratitude to all of you for all your responses and thoughts....I wanted to reply earlier, but work got insanely busy and when I went home, I just fell into a dead sleep for 3 hours...this place just rocks!
Normally, "freak out" is not part of my...ummm..."idiom"...but I never expected that getaway idea to come from W...and I got all worked up...but you were all there... I feel kinda sheepish now...
I emailed W a link to this cool hot springs, with geodesic dome tents you can rent and private hot spring rooms... haven't heard back, but I am going to toss some ideas out there and let her pick, or go with one of hers.
W started her first day volunteering at the thrift store, she will probably get a part time position soon...She called me on her break to tell me how much she loved it, her supervisor (a woman, yay!) is apparently hilarious, yay! W needs lots of humor and laughter. I just love hearing the excitement in her voice, and that she called me.
So, here is the Twilight Zone that UR didn't quite chase away completely....
Last night I noticed W wearing ring(s) on "that" finger on "that" hand. I couldn't get close enough to really see them. Today, verified, they are her wedding rings....she hasn't worn those in 3 years or so...and both of them. and she "looks" like W last night and today... I haven't said a word...I pretty much assume she noticed that I was looking there this evening when she was talking to me (she is a hand talker)...so I will sit quietly and see what transpires, 2 days does not a trend make, but.....open mind, open heart...with some protective crust...
And a busload of faith and a truckload (forget the shovels) of patience...
T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
About work being insanely busy (and frustrating)...I was so "done", with work, the sitch, the money, the repairs at home, well...just about everything...I wanted to run, quit...say eff it, and leave...In a way I haven't felt before....guess i got a small dose of maybe what W has felt during this time...but I didn't run...just not built that way.
But it was a very instructive experience for me, an opportunity to deepen understanding, and compassion.
Just journalling.
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
T I'm so glad to hear that you've felt that way too! Surprise! We are still human I'm glad to hear her experience at the thrift store was so positive. Also I thought it was really interesting about her backpacking. I felt she may be doing that to show she wants to share some of your interests. She may have wanted you to get excites about it. I've picked up some of H interests since BD and he really likes that. It's given us new things to talk about.
M38,H39 M:16Y BD:8/12 OWDB:11/12 S:11/12-5/13 "Temp" home:6/13 OW dropped:9/13 "I love you":12/13 H ring on:2/14 Depression back:5/15 "I'm done:" 7/15 H moved out: 3/16 H moved back: 12/16 Working on us: 3/17
I wonder too Raine about the backpacking...I really had to back myself off and let her work that out, so easy for "Mr. Backpacker" to want to jump in...lol...stay out of my own way...
I believe those new common interests are going to be very important if any future R, since we know our spouses so well, and they know us. rH had a nice bit on that on her thread that I liked a lot.
T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
T, Everything is falling into place and you are where you are suppose to be right this moment.
I'm glad to read that your w enjoyed her time at the Thrift Store. She may find it stimulating and fun, not only meeting people, but actually doing something different. This is a plus for her because it helps to build her self esteem. As for the rings...another plus and she's starting to feel better about herself.
The place you emailed her about sounds wonderful. You might even want to toss in a little backpacking adventure too.
As for running, I agree w/Raine and uR, you are human and who wouldn't want to run after all that you'be been through. We all have days like that.
Continue as you have been...patience, my friend! Enjoy your weekend.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Wow, what a crazy few weeks you have had - talk about a roller coaster!!!
Your W initiating wanting to go away is such a big step for her, for both of you. I think it will be a wonderful opportunity to spend time together without any distractions, plus build that bond/rapport of being friends, individuals who are interested in each other, and maybe even lovers
And we both know her rings just didn't magically appear on her hand again...
Keep making your kitty feel safe, and I think everything will continue to fall into place.
And man, do I get the bus load of faith and truckload of patience!!!!
Keep us updated on your trip plans, can't wait to see how it all turns out
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
How fun! The geodesic dome dents sound awesome! We know about those as we considered buying a large one to live in when our goal about 10 years ago was to get completely out of debt.
I'm so glad also W's supervisor is a woman with a sense of humor. Just the thing for W right now. And I agree with snodderly about that helping build her self-confidence.
I love what all the other posters said, too
How funny that you had to struggle to see her rings on her fingers! Its an "I belong to you" gesture and it has got to be so heart warming for you to see that.
It's one of those things that later you will look back on .... "I remember the day she started wearing her rings again."
Expectations at zero are difficult, but I know you can do it! You've had so much practice, right!?!?!?!
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
Hi T^2, glad to hear that things seem to be looking up now. That's great news and inspirational for others - showing that the hard work and changes can pay off.....
Stay Strong!
Me-48,W-51 M-22,T-24 S- 18,16,9 Feb-Jul '11 Away from Home, after initial B date Aug-Dec '11 Back at Home on couch Dec '11-now Same bedroom, room mates only Dec '14 W files initial D paperwork
and private hot spring rooms... haven't heard back, but I am going to toss some ideas out there and let her pick, or go with one of hers. 
