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Happy birthday, Tad. And to your S19 on Sunday. Have some laughs, eat lots of cake, then begin your personal new year with a positive mental attitude. If you don't have sad things that happen to you, you're not going to know what the good stuff is. Just don't let yourself stay down too long.


Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed.
D35,S/D twins28,D22
EA4/04 End? Who knows?
"Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
BeingMe #2293378 10/26/12 05:32 PM
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Thanks for the birthday wishes. It was a decent day. I did seem to miss XW a little more for some reason. I know that I am not supposed to ask questions, but I'm going to ask anyways:

According to things that I have read, when the MLCer "reconnects" with children, couldn't that just be them trying to "normalize" things? XW seems to be trying to reconnect with them, but couldn't it just be her settling down a bit?

Tad


Currently:
M 56 XW 57
Sons 38,33,31,29

The Sitch:
Married 26 years
EA w/ OM 9/10
Bomb 10/10 (5 weeks after 25th anniversary)
Sep 12/10
She wants D 1/11
W files 5/11
D final 10/11
XW marries OM 6/13
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Originally Posted By: tadpole1025
According to things that I have read, when the MLCer "reconnects" with children, couldn't that just be them trying to "normalize" things? XW seems to be trying to reconnect with them, but couldn't it just be her settling down a bit?

Sigh ....


Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
Drew #2293486 10/26/12 08:57 PM
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Drew,
Have you read the thread on reconnection? If not, here's the link. It might help explain why they reconnect w/the children first.

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...e=69#Post190969


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
job #2293496 10/26/12 09:18 PM
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Snodderly,

It's not the concept of reconnection that led to the heavy sigh.

It's my continued perception that Tad just can't let go.

So he remains stuck.


Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
Drew #2293500 10/26/12 09:25 PM
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I understand. He's just not ready to let her go and allow God to work on her completely. Someday, he will...


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
job #2293504 10/26/12 09:32 PM
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I just wish Tad would realize:

It's really all up to him.


Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
Drew #2293507 10/26/12 09:38 PM
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Drew,
Yes, it is all up to Tad to decide when he is ready to let her go.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Drew #2293509 10/26/12 09:39 PM
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I understand Drew. I just had to ask. Just curious is all because I've noticed a big difference in her in the last month or so.

She or someone has also been checking out my FB lately (after blocking me) because she somehow knows stuff that can only be known from there. She's either checking it out or is finding things out from someone else.

Yes, it is hard for me to completely let go. I loved her more than anything. I'm sure it is harder for some than others but still difficult for all.

Tad


Currently:
M 56 XW 57
Sons 38,33,31,29

The Sitch:
Married 26 years
EA w/ OM 9/10
Bomb 10/10 (5 weeks after 25th anniversary)
Sep 12/10
She wants D 1/11
W files 5/11
D final 10/11
XW marries OM 6/13
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,297
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It's more difficult to let go when there are children involved, even if they are almost grown. Also, when an mlcer is a droplet or a drop-in, they tend to be around more so and it's difficult for the wound to even begin to scab over and begin the healing process.

Tad, it is very hard and difficult for everyone. However, the grieving process timeline is different for each and every person.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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