Thank you 25ymlc. I needed that wisdom today. Members like you on this board are what make sitches like this easier to deal with.
If it weren't for this board I would have to say I would be.much worse off. "if you love her then let her go" Hard words to let sink in but the alternative is so much worse. Living in a sad relationship would do much worse things over time.
Now I am on a mission to maintain positivity around W at all times. Pull back, look good, do things for me and try to figure out where to go from here. But with my family here and on this forum I know I will make it out of this a stronger person than before.
I still hold hope in us though.
Me - 30 W - 28 M 4 t 6 ILYBINILWY #1 Jan - 2011 Band-aid Jan 11' ILYBINILWY #2 7/28/12
And yes, might be the hardest thing I have ever done in my life but if she needs to go do her thing to figure this out then so be it. Cannot fathom how it will feel but I know I can do it.
Me - 30 W - 28 M 4 t 6 ILYBINILWY #1 Jan - 2011 Band-aid Jan 11' ILYBINILWY #2 7/28/12
I don't feel as alone today. W did a touch and go on me last night and I didn't respond as I normally would have which would have been to try and hold onto the contact as long as I could. Instead I let her put her hand on my chest and say good night and left it at that.
I feel like I need to find more friends in the area because I am still spending too much time with W home together. I love the time we have but I know it's not the helping. Still trying to get a grip on why I did nothing for the past year and a half as I knew we were not recovered from that first bomb....
Me - 30 W - 28 M 4 t 6 ILYBINILWY #1 Jan - 2011 Band-aid Jan 11' ILYBINILWY #2 7/28/12
Today felt like I was living a strange dream. I was doing things I normally wouldn't such as ending conversations, not responding to ILY's like I used to, and we still had a decent day together. I hope this trend continues. Win lose or draw this can be as easy of as hard as I make it.
Me - 30 W - 28 M 4 t 6 ILYBINILWY #1 Jan - 2011 Band-aid Jan 11' ILYBINILWY #2 7/28/12
Man how do some of you do this for years? I keep having the desire to grab my W and start kissing her and in my daydream she feels those butterflies likewe had in the beginning.
In my mind it works out perfectly.
Me - 30 W - 28 M 4 t 6 ILYBINILWY #1 Jan - 2011 Band-aid Jan 11' ILYBINILWY #2 7/28/12
Work out then dinner with W and SIL. Should be a fun night sil is a cool girl who isn't prying.
Gonna make leek and potato soup and light a fire. I have not stopped doing the things I normally do like cooking and watching movies together. We are also getting the internet tomorrow which will help me have things to do on my own in the house.
Me - 30 W - 28 M 4 t 6 ILYBINILWY #1 Jan - 2011 Band-aid Jan 11' ILYBINILWY #2 7/28/12
Feels wierd.. W sat close to me on the couch while we watched a movie, she made sure her hands were crossed or she sat on them so that she didn't have incidental contact with my hands.
She is pulling back more than I am lol.
Had the urge to just make out with her again. Dam feelings.
Me - 30 W - 28 M 4 t 6 ILYBINILWY #1 Jan - 2011 Band-aid Jan 11' ILYBINILWY #2 7/28/12
Man how do some of you do this for years? I keep having the desire to grab my W and start kissing her and in my daydream she feels those butterflies likewe had in the beginning.
Quote:
Had the urge to just make out with her again. Dam feelings.
Do you know why you have these strong desires? Do you know if she thought she couldn't have you that it would have the same affect on her?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I know sandi. I am detaching more and more each day. Just working again has been huge. And when she tosses ily's and touch and go's my way I do not respond anymore.
That being said we still watch tv, take walks, cook and go to dinner together. It's no where near like we used to be time wise though. Is that not removed enough?
Me - 30 W - 28 M 4 t 6 ILYBINILWY #1 Jan - 2011 Band-aid Jan 11' ILYBINILWY #2 7/28/12
