I know and hearin that from a WAW helps immensely and I know there is more I need to do for me.. Here's to hoping we have a good MC session followed by a great evening.
Me - 30 W - 28 M 4 t 6 ILYBINILWY #1 Jan - 2011 Band-aid Jan 11' ILYBINILWY #2 7/28/12
Ugggggg.... Tough day today, working on my taxes at the shop where W works, got a splitting headache, feeling low, stresses of the not knowing hit me hard today when I was journaling. I started thinking abou OM and how W felt those feelings towards him that I so desperately want her to feel for me again.
That can take alot of out you. Make sure you charge and fill yourself from other places while you and W are in this position. Believe it or not, most of it comes from having fun, enjoying yourself and not worrying about what W is doing.
However as long as she is willing to go to MC sessions, and actually participate you are in a much better position than most on this board. In doing this she would also cut contact with OM(s) and not have a problem with it.
It's so funny how people can have such visions of fairy tale relationships without thinking how buch crap they have to go through to even begin to touch that level of an R. Commited R's take lots of work to MAKE them work so if you don't plan on putting the work in or you plan on giving up on the first or second speed bump the DONT make the commitment!! It would save a bucket full of tears and one hell of a heartache.
Me - 30 W - 28 M 4 t 6 ILYBINILWY #1 Jan - 2011 Band-aid Jan 11' ILYBINILWY #2 7/28/12
Well I am living it, trying to learn it and hoping with all the hope I have that W is wanting to learn it too.
Just found out we have a retrouaville two minutes down the road from us at the place we got married next month. But it's on the same weekend as (ironically enough) a wedding we have to go to. Lol
Me - 30 W - 28 M 4 t 6 ILYBINILWY #1 Jan - 2011 Band-aid Jan 11' ILYBINILWY #2 7/28/12
It's so funny how people can have such visions of fairy tale relationships without thinking how buch crap they have to go through to even begin to touch that level of an R. Commited R's take lots of work to MAKE them work so if you don't plan on putting the work in or you plan on giving up on the first or second speed bump the DONT make the commitment!! It would save a bucket full of tears and one hell of a heartache.
After going through my situation that put me in DB-land in the first place, yes a real relationship felt like a lot of work and compromises. But when you've had it stripped from you against your will, and hanging around here, we realize it's not a lot of work at all. Simply responsibility to yourself and your relation partner.
It's so funny how people can have such visions of fairy tale relationships without thinking how buch crap they have to go through to even begin to touch that level of an R. Commited R's take lots of work to MAKE them work so if you don't plan on putting the work in or you plan on giving up on the first or second speed bump the DONT make the commitment!! It would save a bucket full of tears and one hell of a heartache.
I love how you referred to yourself as a "ruggedly handsome devil" with rock steady confidence. You need to feel that every day of your existance.
Stellar work at the MC today! We sorted out communication issues, affection questions, and most importantly W said she feels crazy for not having sexual feelings for me, that besides the communication problem I have that I do everything she could ask for in a H. She even told me at this session that when all her GF's complain about their H's she feels bad because she feels like we are in such a bad place even though I don't put her through any of the issues she sees all around her.
She said that she wants to keep going and the MC told us that we need to sit down once a week and talk about how we are feeling as a whole, she said keep it light that the point of the excersize is to try and put posativity into communicating with each other.
I was even able to bring up that sometimes I hold my emotions and communication back because her reactions make me feel bad for the way I feel.
Then we had a great dinner and ride home.
Hope tomorrow is as good as today.
Me - 30 W - 28 M 4 t 6 ILYBINILWY #1 Jan - 2011 Band-aid Jan 11' ILYBINILWY #2 7/28/12
The communication, relationship stuck in a routine an lack of sexual attraction towards me are all directly linked to each other IMO. If we can work on the communication, continue to do thins individually and new things together and she stays willing to work on M then I think our M has a good shot of getting back on track.
Any thoughts?
Me - 30 W - 28 M 4 t 6 ILYBINILWY #1 Jan - 2011 Band-aid Jan 11' ILYBINILWY #2 7/28/12
