Slightly hopeful optimist..

[DaddyLongShanks]

Last nigt and this morning went great! Slept like a rock, woke up refreshed, soothed some sad needy feelings away as soon as they cropped up helped W fet around for work. W gave me a great hug and kiss goodbye, she also held her cheek tight to mine for a while. That was something she used to do all the time when we started dating and had been missing for years of late. It felt really warm and fuzzy..

So I was thinking. I know, never a good thing when in these sitchs. Lol

But seriously, I was thinking about how if my W felt a sense of sexual attraction towards me it would be according to my W "something I have not truly felt in a long time". I know it would propel her into a frame of mind where she would have faith in our M again.

So my question to you WAW's is, if there were one or two things besides detaching, GALing and 180's that would send you into a desirous mode towards your H when you thought you wouldn't feel that way again, what would/are they?

I know I am already not portraying my neediness to W half as much as I used to even before the bomb. I am wearing the cologne she loves at opportune times. I am having fun with or without her and she sees it. I am trying to find more life outside of work and " us".

My thought is that even though all women are unique and every sitch is unique I have a feeling that there might be some things that other WAW's could think of and have in common with each other that could get a posative response. And right about now I think W is to the point where she wants to feel that spark towards me.

So send those ideas my way!

My best advice regarding attraction. Have full faith and confidence in yourself, detach from your sitch so there is no "pain" from it or trying to get your wife to come over.

Now be attractive within yourself, and be attractive to those that you attract. Talk to them, spend time enjoying your life.

If your current wife is to gain interest, this is how it's done. She may remember that you are attractive after some of her friends or some other people out in the world can see it.

[MandyRwaw]

The detaching and GALing was what I needed/wanted to see.

Also helped to feel *wanted* instead of needed...

I sometimes wonder what would have happened if my H had stuck with DBing instead of switching to the other *marriage* site...

[Just A Guy]

I have all the time in the world to work on me... I am GALing harder ever since 25's rant that I needed to hear, I invite her to some o the things I do if she wants to be there but I dont need her with me at everything I do.

The more I detach the more I find her trying to do things with me. Now I need to work on communication as well.

[Just A Guy]

Also tomorrow is the next MC session and for the first time since we have been going I do not have any issues I want to bring up because of the sitch. I will be there to offer my input and honest answers. I am feeling a slight pressure because MC told me I "could" share the email she sent to me regarding the affection issues I was having but I didn't. I realized after I sent it how silly I was in the first place. Oh well.

[Just A Guy]

Was just going over something W has said numerous times and I wanted to get some clarity from the board..

W says "you shouldn't have to MAKE a marriage work"

I think that you do have to make a marriage work, staying in love is work, you have to work at the communication you have to adapt to different circumstances. You need to work on yourselves and work with each other on a constant basis.
The M's that are the strongest I see are the ones where they had to work the hardest to make it work.

Now the thing that scares me is the lack of physical attraction she feels towards me, that's sometin that she needs to see in me again and me working o me is the only thing I can do to help that.

Thoughts?

[MrBond]

Yes. Keep following DR. Read and re-read it to understand what it does.

[labug]

ALL relationships take work.

Become the better option.

[DaddyLongShanks]

Was just going over something W has said numerous times and I wanted to get some clarity from the board..

W says "you shouldn't have to MAKE a marriage work"

I think that you do have to make a marriage work, staying in love is work, you have to work at the communication you have to adapt to different circumstances. You need to work on yourselves and work with each other on a constant basis.
The M's that are the strongest I see are the ones where they had to work the hardest to make it work.

Now the thing that scares me is the lack of physical attraction she feels towards me, that's sometin that she needs to see in me again and me working o me is the only thing I can do to help that.

Thoughts?

I don't think you will grab physical attraction being seen by her everyday or talking about it.

I think it's going to be harder than you think, being that you are currently labled in a "friend zone".

[Just A Guy]

Ugggggg.... Tough day today, working on my taxes at the shop where W works, got a splitting headache, feeling low, stresses of the not knowing hit me hard today when I was journaling. I started thinking abou OM and how W felt those feelings towards him that I so desperately want her to feel for me again.

[MandyRwaw]

Hang in there {{{HUGS}}}

Remember everything you have going for YOU!

Because whatever she does or decides - it's not a reflection of you - it's her...