thanks sg - everyone is working really hard and that's great. all the goals lists being posted are quite amazing in how much thought people are putting into it
hope you're well? zig
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
So everyone - I was thinking - it's about a week since the thread was started and if you all want to pop in and report your progress, thoughts, observations, any problems or setbacks, it would be great to keep track.
some may want to do it at their 2 week point, but just thought i would remind
hope you're all feeling much better and more focused with a set of goals in hand.
zig
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
Wow, Zig. You're good. Soon, you'll have to start charging for your services.
First, the time frame. I expect P to arrive sometime after Labor Day weekend and before her D arrives on September 10th for 5 days. She hasn't said the exact date yet. D will be staying in the extra bedroom and unless something changes (and I'm always prepared that it might) P will be staying in my bed. She likes the cuddling, but at the outset of previous visits has always asked to make sure it won't be too difficult for me.
P previously said that she would stay "as long as necessary" to complete the roof project when I listed its completion as a prerequisite for me doing the winter gig with her. Given that I'm away for work every other week, that could easily be a couple months. I have no idea how long she'll really last, especially since she just bought a place of her own that comes with its own project list.
Now I'll go do more thinking about my internal difficulty with the concept of unassailable personal goals. Thanks a million, Zig.
So after all the digging that i'm getting you to do, let's rewrite those goals in a simple self-assured way. One sentence for each one - specific and to the point. I will...
then the next part is the action - very specific again - exactly how, when , frequency - as detailed as possible -even down tot he time, if that is what helps you stay focused
and then the most important one - I will feel... when i am doing these. so you have to imagine how you will feel.
I've been reviewing the other posts on this thread and doing a little "borrowing".
For the next two weeks:
1. I will value myself by improving my fitness.
Action: 3x 30 min biking or other cardio each week and 3x 30 min strength training.
I will feel energized, physically competent, and proud of my improvements.
2. I will value myself by continuing to prioritize healthy eating.
Action: I will make sure to have healthy food available whether I'm at home or on the road. I will think about options for how I want to handle occasional "cheating". How often feels right to me and under what circumstances?
I will feel relaxed, knowing that I'm nurturing good health. When my boundaries for diversions are clarified, I'll feel calm and in control.
3. I will nurture my PMA by paying attention to my feelings and addressing any issues that arise.
Action: I will stick to goals 1 and 2. I will remember to smile. I will review helpful mantras or meditate daily. I will sit with discomfort, remembering to comfort myself with helpful mantras.
The whole mood and focus has changed for you, and I'm delighted to see that:)
I have a feeling that just writing it like that, has created a big shift within yourself and that is the most important thing.
So keep in touch - at least by posting on your thread as often as possible how you are feeling each day, so that you stay in touch constantly about where you are at and can rectify your course if the determined feeling or focus start to shift.
I have to read my goals list everyday to remind myself that that is what i am after - when i do't i just start to forget what they are. the specific-ness of them keeps me on track.
great great job - dear girl.
and just doing this will make you feel so prepared for the visit - and that's the most important thing
((((( ))))) zig
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
1) I will do my lists of gratitude each day and night. I've slipped a bit and I want to keep that up! I've been doing this more often but still not every single day.
2)I SERIOUSLY want to lose that last 18 pounds! The travelling weight dropped off really quick and I'm happy to report I only have 11 pounds to lose now!
3) When negative thoughts about H slip into my mind (mainly about how he is living his life and relationship choices he's making) I will be mindful and refocus on wishing him the best and accepting that can not make his choices or know what is best for him. Stop my thinking in the bud and drop the rope sending love!
In receiving possibly the craziest/hardest news I dropped the rope more fully that I ever thought I would. This past week has been pretty great. I rarely think about H and we had a really great friendship/coparenting affirmation on Monday.
4) career - everything is going along really well. I secured a presentation this week will know by Friday if I've gotten a promotion at work
Hi Brit - sorry it took me so long to answer your post.
have been reneging a bit on my goals duties here. this has been catch up week for me,,,
You do sound great and as if you are doing really well keeping on top of your intentions.
Do you feel as if some of your goals are getting more established where you don't have to be on top of them as much as before - that they are becoming a way of life rather than something you have to actively pursue all the time?\
When you do start to feel that in any of those areas - then it's time to set some more i think
How did the job application pan out? do you know yet?
glad to hear you sounding so "up" - it's wonderful
zig
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
Hi everyone - our goals thread is starting to "slow down" a tad bit here.
what do you all think? is it time to check in and talk about where you are at , and if it's good enough for you, or you need something more.. encouragement, fin-tuning etc
I'm here so let's not lose the energy
zig
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
I'm going to join you, if you don't mind. I flounder around a bit with the goals- read the books, write down a bunch of notes- lose it all allover the plce-
i'm going to think on it all and concoct my goals and then come here and commit.
first goal- figure out some goals & get them "said" here before witnesses and then monitor.
