Mandy, I can speak from experience on this. My father did pretty much the same thing to us many years ago. 25+ years later, its not changed a lot. He has tried to reach out a little, but too much time has passed and too much damage has been done for me to be receptive of this..... Its best for me to move on. He has since remarried and his new wife has a daughter that is in her mid 20's and lives with them and has 2 kids out of wedlock, she doesn't work or go to school, just stays there and parties while they babysit, he takes up for her, I just laugh! Anyway, its been my experience that MLCers just move on, start new lives, and rewrite their past. Best thing for you and your son is to move forward with your lives, make new friends, and forget the past.
Hi Mandy! I agree, your x feels superior to the young, woman beating, druggie man. How could he not?! Your son is a different case ... x cannot look him in the eye, without shame and guilt.
Glad things are still going well with you, otherwise. Your x sure is a puzzle case.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
thankyou for your reply BeingMe, yes totally agree shame and guilt, ah well he doesn't realise what he as missed out on although I say it myself my son is a fine strapping young man now, doesn't get into bother, has a good life, is polite, honest and loyal, everything a mother should be proud of and ex as missed out on contributing towards that, ex's problem not ours xxxx
Mandy, I totally agree w/you..."X" sure did miss out on contributing to your son's life. You have done an outstanding job of being your son's mother, friend and mentor. For that, you should be extremely proud of your son. He's a very lucky young man!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Hi snodderly, yes I am one very proud mother, I am proud of the way my son as turned out, he could of gone the other way and landed himself on the downward spiral of life and gotten into all kinds of trouble, if I say so myself he is one hell of a credit to me, and I love him eternally xxxxx
ML, I always felt for your S. Nobody wants to hear of the kids being neglected by the MLCer.
I am glad you are proud of him. At some point he will have resolve the situation with his father in his heart, but he will have the inner resources to do it.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
thankyou for your reply forward, personally I feel there is too much water gone under the bridge now, if son and his father ever make it up it will be a long long road, and its not one that I ever want to be part of at this moment in time, seven years is a long long time to be away from your only offspring and for the interest he as shown in him son as totally washed his hands now, what happens in the future no-one knows, but I won't get in the way. People that see the ex have said he looks old and haggard, not the man I remember but he made his choices in life and one of the choices he made was to abandon his child and show no interest in his life, so be it xxxxx
Thank god your son has you. I have followed your sitch for a while and you are a great example of a strong, determined parent doing the best in a horrible situation.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
well it is getting closer to the holidays for my son and I, have to say I am feeling overwhelmed with excitement but also a little nervous, I am prepared for there to be a few emotional moments as we land in our special place but what the hell memories are memories and we have new ones to make, it is actually sons 18th birthday in ten days time, no word from his father and dont suppose there will be, also it is ex's 50th birthday in two days time, oh I hope he as a lovely birthday and party hahahahah, but joking aside I couldnt care less about him now just hoping my son and I have a perfect holiday in our special place xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
