I think it's a good sign that the logic is still in their heads. And isn't there a saying that we often criticize more harshly about things we dislike about ourselves? So then, maybe when they are lecturing, even though it's directed at someone else, they are internally and silently dealing with it themselves.
It's good to see how well you are doing. You are truly a very strong and positive person and you are now radiating it to everyone around you.
Kudos to you also for keeping your sitch with H separate from your in-laws. I understand where you are coming from. I have also had an amazing relationship with all of my Hs family and both them and I have decided that regardless of what happens with H, we are and will always be family and will continue treating each other as such. (Although H is not too happy about this, lol...)
I also feel it's a great example for my kids and family is everything to me, so I want them to grow up with a close R with extended family.
I'll keep checking on you to get inspired and remain positive myself!
Me & H: 44 D7, D6, S3 Together: 20y, M: 17y EA: 11/13/10, Sep: 12/23/10 EA becomes PA: Spring 2011 H filed for D: 09/06/12 D Negotiating began 2/15 OW seemingly gone on 3/15 Still negotiating D
Is the LBS 100% committed to walking away? 100% cause you can only play that card once. In fact with LRT...the LBS is almost not wanting the WAS to come back.
That is how committed the LBS should be to LRT; because anything less, ANYTHING? and I agree with Kaffe the LBS will regret, and I could care less about the WAS's regrets.
Anything less than 100% walk away? and the LBS will look back and say, "I was just joking...I wasn't serious. I didn't mean it..." And nothing changes. Then the LBS is stuck in limbo and proven to others that they will not leave.
My take on the LRT.
It is either real, or it is a worthless trick. I think the clue to knowing if it is real? Is when you stop truely caring if the WAS comes back.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
yes - that freaked me for a minute too, when i read your first post j3b - then i saw your second.
i went back to read that first page - and almost had to laugh.
we are so freaked out by th behaviors our WAS's display - being erratic, spewing, being nice.
but sheesh - what about us - we have quite our own roller coaster ride. i can barely remember writing that, i'm embarrassed to admit.
but thank you j3b for that reminder. sometimes i think i'm almost there - and then realize of course that i am not.
also thanks for stopping by.
btw - i seem to have 'lost" my bootcamp mentor, it seems - anyone want to chip in to help - i think sg is very busy and i could use a bit of help setting some new goals
thanks zig
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
divers!! hey girl - you get to see a LOT of men in extremely skimpy swimsuits. they are not mess in' around!! so you don't get to complain. of course they are rather young - most of them...... even s noticed - he said - wow those are like bikinis without the tops. i just about fell off the bar stool!!
i felt uneasy too - i was thinking to myself - gosh what am i going to talk to him about!! but then i just relaxed and it was fine. he is such a charmer.
maybe like his mom...hee hee
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
It was interesting to me to hear her words and know how they did not match her actions in regard to our M.
groan - oh i know - i've focused on that way too much these last years and especially since BD.
but you know what the funny thing is ces? now when i stop looking at h's "faults" and start looking to myself - i can't say that i'm totally innocent of that either...
your challenge question - i never saw it in terms of that - i think people just rationalize to themselves - i know i do when it suits me if i am completey honest. so i expect they do the same. i honestly didn't see a connection between the light and the fuel...
thanks for stopping in - it's nice to have you here
zig
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
