zig, i am filled with admiration for your today...to joke around and make the best of today..and all i can say, from a lesbian point of view, is that your H is crazy.. perhaps temporary insanity, i guess. you are amazing.... you definitely found your mojo..
Me(f): 51 W: 41 DP:8 M:3 T:10 "W not happy" 7/11 D final: 8/13
i worked with my intern until 4 then went to get s. when we got back, my knitting software upgrade had arrived and we both jumped into installing it and exclaiming and being delighted with the new changes. so much better than before.
then we went out to dinner - 2 big new things for me.
i hadn't realized that s and i had never really been out to dinner on our own before. lunches yes - but never dinner. i joked that it could be our date night and then as we walked out the door i said s let's make this a regular thing - once a month just you and i go to dinner on our own. he seemed very pleased at the idea.
then when we got there, he wanted to sit at the bar - and we noticed the synchro diving trials were on.
i've always disapproved of tv's in restaurants and sports even more - but there i was sitting at the bar with my 11 yr old watching the trials and thoroughly enjoying myself
and it only occurred to me right now, that i don't believe i thought of h even once the whole time!
wow - even i'm impressed.
so dinner date with my s and watching sports too - when mil called later she was absolutely astonished. oh and funny thing - s wanted to go to the same restaurant where that incident happened last week with h showing up when i went out with my friend
so all in all i would agree it was a successful day!!
how has your day been? good i hope?
(((( )))) zig
ps- why lesbian point of view - is that a different one??
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
i've been waiting for a chance today to sit down and right a bit more.
yesterday s and i went over to mil's and spent the afternoon there. this is h's 5th trip down to ow's and it's an odd coincidence but each time, fil has been out of town and we have spent the day with mil and her mother and father (they live in the same house)
i was nervous about going there in the morning - it's been awhile, and i was a bit wary that i may get all emotional, like i used to. i will admit, in hindsight, that i think i started db'ing with them since march and letting go of them also.
it was the complete opposite of before, the 3 of us were in the pool all afternoon, really relaxed and then just before dinner h's grandma came out to tell us she had hurt her shoulder. she's 93 and has been getting injured a lot recently.
so suddenly there i was, popped into my "traditional" role in the family - being florence nightingale - nurse florrie for short - which i am really really good at! after all this time - i took care of her, massaged her shoulder, announced that we didn't need to rush to the er and went and got a better ice pack from the pharmacy.
mil was really stressed out as everyone except me is out of town and she couldn't miss work today. it was so nice to go over during the day today and take care of them for a bit - i used to do that almost on a daily basis before BD and almost until march .i just adore those 2 old people and have missed them so much.
she always introduces me as her daughter and i always laugh and say no i'm her grand daughter in law, but she insists otherwise!!
i knew she was really pleased to have me around - and i decided that i was going to continue to drop in and check on them, when i'm sure h isn't around.
i told mil that i got so much pleasure from being with them again - and for myself i was so happy that now it isn't edged with the constant bittersweet reminder of what has happened. i'm free to just enjoy them on my own...and that please me a lot.
when we got home tonight, i made sure s called fil - he's racing at that bike race in iowa and i knew he would be delighted if s asked how the race was going. they talked for an hour
h called while s was on the phone - and so i got to talk to him. as soon as he heard that s was talking to his dad he went into a mild tirade about what an idiot his dad was - he told him not to go do that, it's ridiculous to be biking in this heat and why don't they stop right now instead of going on.i laughed very mildly and said well you can't stop someone once they've decided to do something - they're not going to listen to anyone saying don't do that. his reply - it's not a lugging matter - they are going to get hurt. soon after i said well i'll get s to call when he gets off with your dad and let him go.
damn right it's not a laughing matter...
it's odd how so many of our conversations in the last couple of months have gone like that -direct analogies of our sitch. and him criticizing something like this in the same way. very strange...
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
it's like KD said yesterday - it's there - your mojo - you're just not tuned into it yet.
you're tuned into the sitch - so time to tune out of the sitch and then you'll feel it.
best part? - you just have to tune out a little bit and you'll feel the first of it and then hey - it will take you all on it's own - it's so enticing you won't be able to resist it.
you'll still feel the sitch, but from a little further away and then soon, you'll be able to just bring that mojo up and let it prop you along when you don't feel that good.
you just stay on that blanket with us ng- it's right there - and soon every hot chick will be asking you stupid questions to get your attention (grin!!)
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
Good Morning darling girl! I just caught up and I'm so glad you had a great time at dinner with S. When I first started doing things just me and S, it felt really uneasy like I was trying to put on a happy face and I realised the other day how much fun I now have with him. I hate to say that we didn't have this when I was family had 3 members but it's true...one on one time is so important with them. (you mentioned diving and in my head I started to recite divers and info...dear lord get me through the next few weeks)
Don't worry Grace we're in the same place. This past weekend my friend pointed out that a guy at another table had been looking over at us so much his GF had started holding his hand and literally pulling him back into the convo. I hadn't noticed at all....we'll get there!
it's odd how so many of our conversations in the last couple of months have gone like that -direct analogies of our sitch. and him criticizing something like this in the same way. very strange...
Hey Zig, very true statement. I've noticed that with my W as well. She's known for her mini-lectures to the kids which can be sparked by almost anything. Its kind of a family joke with us. Typically is a learning opportunity that my W will snatch onto and talk to the kids. Anyway...last night was another example of a mini-lecture to my son (who at 13, almost 14 isn't too found of). It was interesting to me to hear her words and know how they did not match her actions in regard to our M.
So here's the perspective challenge...In situations like this is it better to get frustrated because they don't apply the lessons to themselves or be thankful that the logic is still there in their heads and there may still be hope that the light turns on for them if the fuel is still present?
Glad you enjoyed your time with the in-laws!
Me:45, W:45 S:16 D:13 M:22, T:25 Bomb: July 2010 Putting finances in order for "D" Continue to live in same home-separate rooms
