I hope to God they are including in this advice to USE PROTECTION??!
And just for the record, the coaches (at least mine) did not explicitly say have s#x with your husband first. She told me to become his girlfriend again. Be flirty, be seductive, etc. Because that's who he fell in love with, and that's what he saw in OW.
For me also, I decided not to look outside my M. Because believe me, as soon as I told one of my friends what was going on with H and I, he was all for helping me out. LOL But I did not want to do that. And technically, he is still my H, so if I want to sleep with him, then I can. JMO I never once believed it would put us closer to a R.
Right, be the gf. It was more of an attitude change than a directive to get physical. I ultimately decided that tactic was not for me so I didn't go down that road.
Originally Posted By: RoRoinMD
Originally Posted By: Starsky309
I hope to God they are including in this advice to USE PROTECTION??!
And just for the record, the coaches (at least mine) did not explicitly say have s#x with your husband first. She told me to become his girlfriend again. Be flirty, be seductive, etc. Because that's who he fell in love with, and that's what he saw in OW.
For me also, I decided not to look outside my M. Because believe me, as soon as I told one of my friends what was going on with H and I, he was all for helping me out. LOL But I did not want to do that. And technically, he is still my H, so if I want to sleep with him, then I can. JMO I never once believed it would put us closer to a R.
I absolutely INSISTED we use a condom. i didn't have any here at my house. he did at his rental - our condoms from the past, which i knew were there.
he tried several times to say that we didn't need them. i stopped each time and insisted that that was the condition - so since he had come on his racing bike - i perched on the back and at 2 in the morning he biked us down almost 15 blocks to his place. believe me, it was not easy for him - that bike ride - that's what i meant when i said i was surprised by his determination!!
it seemed as if the fact that i was more concerned about protection rather than if we would sleep together -gave him some sort of incentive....?
i don't know - but it sure seemed like that .... ...pursuer/distancer????
who knows....
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
hi vera, did your coach change her approach/suggestions after H filed for the D? just wondering if they use that advice for a particular timeframe in the process?..
thanks.
Me(f): 51 W: 41 DP:8 M:3 T:10 "W not happy" 7/11 D final: 8/13
he tried several times to say that we didn't need them. i stopped each time and insisted that that was the condition - so since he had come on his racing bike - i perched on the back and at 2 in the morning he biked us down almost 15 blocks to his place. believe me, it was not easy for him - that bike ride - that's what i meant when i said i was surprised by his determination!!
Ohhhhh zig I have to giggle, that sounds like something a couple of teenagers would do
Not to hijack - yes NG I have distanced and cooled off more since he filed and I was served. that confused him bc he couldn't figure out WHY I was doing it.
I hope to God they are including in this advice to USE PROTECTION??!
Well Starsky, as we are all adults here, I would hope no one would have to remind us of that.
I would hope so too, but considering the reeling emotional state of some of us when our spouses dropped the bomb on us, and coupled with how serious the health implications could be, I think it bears reminding.
I hope to God they are including in this advice to USE PROTECTION??!
And just for the record, the coaches (at least mine) did not explicitly say have s#x with your husband first. She told me to become his girlfriend again. Be flirty, be seductive, etc. Because that's who he fell in love with, and that's what he saw in OW.
Interesting.
I'm all in favor of that, once they end all contact with their affair partner. I guess we all have to make that decision for ouselves.
