This might be last chance??

[1702]

Therein lies the problem... I don't sign the waiver because I don't feel that our M is to the point of finalizing everything and she gets even more defensive about the thought of working on M. I sign, and she is taking more steps to no longer need me around.

I guess how I'm feeling is she is now realizing, at least financially, what we were able to have together, but is doing everything in her power to not let that influence her actions about ending our M.

[1702]

It would be best for me to not sign anything... Basically giving me more time in hopes that she would be willing to see if we could salvage anything in our M. But she is going to feel that I am just doing this out of spite, to make her suffer and make her life harder...
Question, Isn't she the one that wanted this? and What about me??
She hasn't worried once about how this has affected me.

[peringo]

She is the one executing the "family destruction plan" don't do anything to aid her or make it easier, or cheaper... make it clear that you don't want any of it.

[1702]

Thanks... I don't want any of it! But either way, I don't want her life to be harder because of me. She is the one that made these decisions, but regardless, I still love her and i don't want her life to be more difficult because of me.

[peringo]

Her life won't be harder BECAUSE of you.... it will be harder BECAUSE of HER CHOICE not to have you in it.

[1702]

thanks for your vote of confidence. I kind of already know that....
But, even if there is the smallest chance, I don't want to screw that up by "being difficult".
I guess it is her choice if she wants to follow thru with "her plan" and she is going to have to realize the consequences.

[peringo]

Is your wife more attracted to the confident man or the push-over?

It may very well piss her off in the short term, but as long as you are on the righteous path and speaking the truth, even the most hardend hearts will see that.

Its difficult, I am dealing with alot of the same, I was just layed-off, wait till she see's my claim for spousal maintenance to pay for school.... since we agreed I would finish my degree before all this crap went down....

[MrBond]

"that I wasn't being difficult or trying to make her mad"

Stop saying stuff like that. You really don't understand what I and everyone else is telling you.

You can't keep being afraid and mindreading about what she will or will not feel. "My way" as you refer to my posts doesn't tell you to give up. It tells you that in order to get her back you can't always worry about what she might or might not do. That's none of your concern.

Let me put it to you this way. She's going to get mad at you no matter what. So what do you want to do protect yourself and your SD? And stop saying how much happier YOU are when you're married. Fact is that you're not married right now. You have a W who is looking to start a new life without you. You have to deal with that and the consequences first in order for you to get rid of the fear.

"W will think I am being controlling and delaying the whole process out of spite."

Almost all of your posts has something like this. She's going to think you're controlling REGARDLESS of what you do. My W accused me of the same thing. EVERYONE's spouse accuses them of the same thing. It's because they don't want to take responsibility for their actions. That's fine. But YOU don't have to do what you don't want to do if it's not in YOUR best interest.

If you sign the papers, you might be liable for the payment if she can't upkeep. Then what happens if she finds another guy and he moves in with her? You'll be stuck paying the house that the two of them are living in. That's reality.

You ask the same questions, yet refuse to budge and want to stay in the hole. All of the posters are offering you a way out to save your M but you're refusing to take it, yet you ask the same questions.

[1702]

Bond, as of this morning, there are now two sets of papers I am talking about. of course the D papers, but now there are papers that waiver my right to any part of the house so she can refinance. She is basically trying to knock down what she is paying because now she has a pretty hefty vehicle payment that she didnt have when I met her. Now she has to pay mortgage, utilities, personal bills, and a vehicle payment that she wasn't used to paying the entire time she owned the house. I originally told her I would pay for the Tahoe since my truck payment was almost finished. I don't think she realized what impact it would have.

[MrBond]

Okay. But that still doesn't change the fact that you need to protect your own interests as much as she's trying to protect hers. Save it for the L. When you see your SD and your W asks if you signed the paperwork, then tell her that you wanted him to take a look at it first. And then drop it.

If she starts threatening you about not being able to see your SD, etc. log that down. Save all correspondences.