I'm sick now, too, which is putting a damper on my ability to GAL and keep going to the gym. Argh. I would like to plan my tropical vacation but I feel like I need the money for my inevitable lawyer bill.
Thanks. I have been working a lot on detaching. I think I have detached in many ways from H but I had not thought about doing so from others in his life. I guess I wasn't really expecting a response from MIL but it was notable not to get one. However I guess I was not necessarily expecting that they would take his side, per se, but that is an interesting take on what happened and I will ponder that more.
In light of yesterday's events I guess I will be calling an L today.
Got my DB coaching session set up, not as soon as I would have liked but it's there so I can start gathering my thoughts.
I'm still struggling with how to respond to D-related logistic talking. I usually try to not react but acknowledge and then change the topic. H seems to think things are rolling along just dandy on the D-train. He has some friends who are young like him and D'd after not very long but remained friends. The difference is that neither of them wanted to get married but they couldn't talk about it ahead of time and went through with it anyway. That's not the situation here, but I think he could be modeling "our" future on that.
H is currently at his L consultation. He said he didn't want to be shady or hide things from me (very kind). He also said the only reason he's getting an L is because it would take an "inordinate amount of time" to do it without one. He promised to "share what he learned" after he gets back. He wanted to know if I planned to be okay with a no-fault D or if I was going to contest anything. I said I wasn't prepared to answer that right away. My consult is 2 weeks from now (he does not know my L status).
I just saw labug's "set them free" post. I have been trying to go with that mantra for a few weeks since I finshed DB and DR. I'm trying my best not to totally break down around him right now.
Any other advice on how to handle his conversations in the meantime?
Managed to skirt the "conversation" last night by leaving the house after dinner. After I got home H was eager to show me his photos from the trip that he took last week. (?).
This morning he tried to pin me down on a time for "the conversation."
He is complaining a lot about his job. This isn't new. Last year he was more in a searching mode to find something new, and I encouraged that (maybe even pushed too much, asking him often if he'd followed up with a headhunter, telling him he "should" do that, etc.). He keeps talking/joking about finding a new job but I'm not sure how much he's looking right now. I'm trying to validate his feelings about not liking where he is right now and not offering any suggestions. We're getting along quite well at home now (cooked dinner last night together) and I feel like the job is causing more of his unhappiness than our R at this point, but I'm not mentioning it. Kind of sad to watch it happen, though.
