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#2244646 - 05/12/12 02:48 AM Re: My wife is leaving (left) me....Part 2 [Re: MrBond]
heartbrokeinsd Offline
Member

Registered: 04/18/12
Posts: 714
Loc: South Dakota
it kinda threw me off too. her parents just got to town to help her move. they were supposed to help her all weekend. her mom "forgot" she had plans on monday. they are leaving around lunch on sunday. they do this to her all the time. say they will do something, then have an excuse. usually its me. im suprised they showed up at all. i guess im her fall back plan. im not really interested in making her supper. i dont like being the last resort. i dont know how to tell her no, without being a jerk. thats why i said i would think about it. any ideas. you are usually spot on
_________________________
m:31 W:32
M:8 T:11
S:10
D:5
Bomb:1/07/12
Separated:4/23/12
Divorced: 12/12/12


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#2244687 - 05/12/12 01:22 PM Re: My wife is leaving (left) me....Part 2 [Re: heartbrokeinsd]
scaredsilly Offline
Member

Registered: 01/12/12
Posts: 1219
maybe you could tell her that you feel mother's day should be for her and the kids now and suggest they go out for dinner to a restaurant?
_________________________
M:63
H:53
S:41, SS:28, SS:25, SD:23
M:15
T:16

Bomb:12/17/11, "I think we should go our separate ways."
H moves to his mother's house, 4/1/12
12/21/12: H moves back home, piecing


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#2244688 - 05/12/12 01:26 PM Re: My wife is leaving (left) me....Part 2 [Re: scaredsilly]
labug Offline
Member

Registered: 11/25/11
Posts: 8877
Loc: Sonoran Desert
She wants to be separated. Having you fix dinner for her is not being separated. If you had an amicable relationship it might be doable but I have an idea this would turn into another blowup.

I think you both need to stay in your corners until you DON't come out fighting.

But that's opinion which is worth the price you paid for it.
_________________________
Me 57/H 58
M35 S24 S21
Bomb 3/11 Sep 3/11
Piecing 9/13 12/13 Reconciling

"We can make ourselves miserable, or we can make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same"~Carlos Castenada

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#2244690 - 05/12/12 01:49 PM Re: My wife is leaving (left) me....Part 2 [Re: labug]
heartbrokeinsd Offline
Member

Registered: 04/18/12
Posts: 714
Loc: South Dakota
you both have valid points. i do feel mothers day is for her. i dont really want to cook for her. especially afterr this weekend plays out. i dont want to fight so this is probably better. she is really good at dragging me into a fight. i dont like this, but i do have to deal with it. and i want to in a healthy way. this all feels wrong, but like the DR book says, what i feel is right isnt working..
_________________________
m:31 W:32
M:8 T:11
S:10
D:5
Bomb:1/07/12
Separated:4/23/12
Divorced: 12/12/12


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#2244733 - 05/12/12 07:54 PM Re: My wife is leaving (left) me....Part 2 [Re: heartbrokeinsd]
heartbrokeinsd Offline
Member

Registered: 04/18/12
Posts: 714
Loc: South Dakota
yay..today is horrible. i came home and she is takin stuff without asking. i told her to quit and shut my dresser drawer. she called the cops..again. they advised me to stay home and watch everything she takes and write it down. this is not going good.

has anybody dealt with stuff like this? does anyone have some advice? today is only half over.
_________________________
m:31 W:32
M:8 T:11
S:10
D:5
Bomb:1/07/12
Separated:4/23/12
Divorced: 12/12/12


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#2244737 - 05/12/12 08:18 PM Re: My wife is leaving (left) me....Part 2 [Re: heartbrokeinsd]
MrBond Online
Member

Registered: 06/18/08
Posts: 11010
Sorry to hear this is going down.

Take pictures of everything. If there is something you don't want her to take, then tell her.

I bet you don't feel like making her dinner now.
_________________________
M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

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#2244739 - 05/12/12 08:32 PM Re: My wife is leaving (left) me....Part 2 [Re: MrBond]
heartbrokeinsd Offline
Member

Registered: 04/18/12
Posts: 714
Loc: South Dakota
lol..there is going to be no dinner. i dont feel like seeing her ever again right now. that im sure will change. i dont know. i did tell her. thats when she called the cops. wtf is wrong with me? why do i put up with this?
_________________________
m:31 W:32
M:8 T:11
S:10
D:5
Bomb:1/07/12
Separated:4/23/12
Divorced: 12/12/12


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#2244781 - 05/13/12 01:51 AM Re: My wife is leaving (left) me....Part 2 [Re: heartbrokeinsd]
heartbrokeinsd Offline
Member

Registered: 04/18/12
Posts: 714
Loc: South Dakota
so she is gone. came and got the kids for the weekend. all her stuff is gone. kinda feels like a weight has been lifted off of me. this has been the worst day of my life so far. hands down. guess that means it can only go up from here. i feel empty. gotta start filling myself back up. i want to get back to who i was when she met me. i wasnt needy or a doormat. i was strong and confident. i want that back. its going to be a process but thats ook. will give me something to do.
_________________________
m:31 W:32
M:8 T:11
S:10
D:5
Bomb:1/07/12
Separated:4/23/12
Divorced: 12/12/12


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#2244789 - 05/13/12 03:05 AM Re: My wife is leaving (left) me....Part 2 [Re: heartbrokeinsd]
Broken74 Offline
Member

Registered: 01/19/12
Posts: 288
Hey heartbrokeinsd,

Keep your chin up my friend, I remember this day I know it is a rough one I will share a quick story that may make you feel better.

After my wife lied to the cops and took a 50b out on me after I uncovered her A and confronted the OM and he dumped her, I was barred from the house I built for our family (totally in my name purchased before we were married solely by me because her credit was whacked from prior bankruptcy) for roughly two months. She refused to live there any longer and found a rental home which I paid the deposit and first months rent on.

After the court date I come to a house totally in dissarray, not physically damaged but absolutely filthy. Every piece of marital property is gone minus two televisions. She left me her old furniture, some kitchen stuff, our dog only because she couldn't have one at her new place, and that was about it. Oh wait! Except for basically her and her kid's "garbage". Piles and piles of old clothes, toys, baby dolls, every card and gift I had ever given her strategically placed, to give ME the opportunity to take the stuff to Goodwill for the tax writeoff. Nice right? Got to clean out the refrigerator, rotton food and all. Wow talk about a breakdown that day, come back to a 5 bedroom house to that scene was really rough, downed a 5th of Burnetts that night... About two weeks of solid work after work and weekends to get that cleaned up, I probably cried a 5 gallon bucket.

I also got left with all the marital debt to boot... I know I've made strides because even though we probably won't reconcile, I forgive her for it...

In short man, I know it's hard to believe but it could be worse. Keep your chin up, I'm thinking about and praying for your my friend.
_________________________
me 38
W 30
T 3
M in 05/2010
Separated 08/2011
Stephchildren (all hers) SS17, SS12, SD8
I filed 8/27, she countered I filed response 9/5
Anxiously waiting on the judge!

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#2244800 - 05/13/12 05:47 AM Re: My wife is leaving (left) me....Part 2 [Re: MrBond]
par4me Offline
Member

Registered: 10/05/05
Posts: 404
Dang bug, I feel sorry for you. Not what you want to hear. I am just scared for you about the jail time. There is nothing to do but think in there. I guess you need to think of a plan. Stay positive. Man, lots of people here feel like they can't live without the X. I do sometimes. Miss her even though she is a piece of crap. Remember that you are not alone. Praying for you.

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