This is my journey

[needgrace]

Thank you bug. ((( )))

I stopped listening to music stations too for the same reason. And I love music, have tons of CDS, have always used it to relax and enjoy life.

I was at a party last week where they were playing Latin music and I felt really happy listening to the music there. I realized that I enjoyed it bc I could not understand the words.

So I have decided to start seeking out some Latin or instrumental music so I can avoid love songs but enjoy the uplifting spirit of music in my life.

[needgrace]

Hi Walking,

Thank you for stopping by and for your support.

I took a look at your thread and was inspired by your strength. Thanks for sharing it.

[needgrace]

Good morning DBers,

I made it through day 5 of N/C.

I have been using a variation of Brit's mantra and have been telling myself that my W and my M are in God's hands and I am free. (Thank you Brit!)

Free to focus and work on me. Free to be loving to others. Free to find my own happiness. Free to be happy. Free to grow. Free to let go of the addiction, the victimhood and the control which weighs me down, entangles and keeps me feeling trapped. Free to see beauty. Free to explore the world.

I have been using Jack Kornfield's CDS to meditate. (Love him!) My favorite is entitled "The Earth is my Witness" and in it, Jack leads me through the parts of the body and releasing all my pains/thoughts/feelings/heaviness/stress back into the earth. I love this meditation and it really helps me start each day from a new place.

You are all in my prayers today with immense gratitude. I am a witness to your strength and I am a beneficiary of it as well. Thank you.

[Cadet]

Free to focus and work on me. Free to be loving to others. Free to find my own happiness. Free to be happy. Free to grow. Free to let go of the addiction, the victimhood and the control which weighs me down, entangles and keeps me feeling trapped. Free to see beauty. Free to explore the world.

Sounds good!


Made it to day 5, one day at a time.

[labug]

Great post, ng!

Yes, the world is full of wonderful possibilities.

[Brit45]

Yesterday I heard one of the radio psychologists say that marriage is like a beautiful, expensive plant that someone gives you as a gift. You're happy to receive it but some plants take a lot of work.

If you put them on the shelf and don't take care of them, they die.

Is it a bad sign that I have fake plants in my house? oh dear haha

[Brit45]

NG that was just beautiful post!! No one likes a victim not even the victim haha.

I love the phrase "Free to see beauty" I think that we can get so wrapped up in our drama that we don't even take a minute to see the world around us. Small things like light in the trees or new flowers that bloom.

I think you sound like you're in a good place. And I love your mantra. I do think that "higher good" can still include a R, but I'm seeing that with a beginner's mind. There are many many possibilities for both our sitchs.

I'm a big believer in gratitude as well! I know of people going through D who are having horrible times involving restraining orders, changing locks, or affairs with friends of theirs. I just take a deep breath and am grateful for my sitch.

[needgrace]

I am almost through day 7 N/C. Yay!

I actually had a moment where i had an innocent crush on someone the other day... i felt so good after that because i did not know if i would ever feel that way again!! I am committed to being on my own right now and working on me, but it felt good to actually feel interested in getting to know someone besides my W.

I am slowly letting go of the anger..

I am learning that I need to be here right now..to grow.

I am embarrassed by how I pled, begged, cried when this began.. and how i have continued to try to hold W to her promise that we would go to therapy if we ever had problems...

for whatever reason, she is not able to do that, and my pressure just makes her feel guilty and want to run further away.

i will learn from this.

[Truegritter]

i will learn from this.

Yes

You will

If you choose to.

When you said your vows did you say?

"I will love and honer you all the days of my life

Until you don't feel the same way,

Unless you become confused. So confused you don't know how to love me. So confused you run away from me.

But for that

until death do us part."

Is that what you meant? Is that what anyone means when they say they love someone to that degree?

A question for you to answer. yes?

regardless

[Brit45]

I popped over to my friend NG's (I need to not call you that. It makes me think of Nancy Grace) thread and TG made me cry.

I am embarrassed by how I pled, begged, cried when this began.. and how i have continued to try to hold W to her promise that we would go to therapy if we ever had problems...

for whatever reason, she is not able to do that, and my pressure just makes her feel guilty and want to run further away.

I felt this way too. Someone on here said keep the road home paved clean or something like that. I had about 3/4 weeks of craziness and he's said that he understands I was in a bad place.

You are doing amazing at 7 days! Really fantastic! Now no more guilt, what's done is done. A lot has happened in the past month...give yourself a big hug and continue to take care of you!

BIG HUGS!