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#2241318 - 04/28/12 02:03 AM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: Use to be]
MrBond Offline
Member

Registered: 06/18/08
Posts: 11152
Ok you have to stop thinking like that. I understand the depression and how you feel hopeless. But you have to shake that off.

How did you survive before you met your wife? And besides, your son needs you. Have you started doing any of the things I suggested? It's the only way you're going to get normal.
_________________________
M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

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#2241332 - 04/28/12 04:11 AM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: MrBond]
Use to be Offline
Member

Registered: 02/03/12
Posts: 108
MrBond, really thanks you for your continue encouragement. I try to do what you ask me to do but I am never able to do everything. I see she is getting further and further away. When I lost my job last time, she give me support to look for a new job. But when I told her yesterday, she told me she is busy can't talk on the phone.

I fail and I do not know how to move on.

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#2241546 - 04/29/12 01:30 PM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: Use to be]
MrBond Offline
Member

Registered: 06/18/08
Posts: 11152

"I fail and I do not know how to move on."

Go back and read my last post. That's how you move on.

Do you want your son to remember you as helpless and cannot make decisions? Do you want your son to be raised by your father in law?

If you don't, then start doing something about i.
_________________________
M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

Top
#2241688 - 04/30/12 06:14 AM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: MrBond]
Use to be Offline
Member

Registered: 02/03/12
Posts: 108
MrBond,

I think through over the weekend and see what you have wrote here, I do not want to give up. I do not want my son to be raised by the in law. (He is going to die in next 15 to 20 years time too so I could not be bother)

Now I want to go step by step into Michele DR.
I am at this stage of "Know what you want". So the goals must be solution oriented.

so this is my initial goals.

1. I want my wife to stay married
2. I want a better commumication between us
3. I want the family to be back again

In my situation, I do not know how to break this down into something that can be achievable within week or two. I need some guidance here.

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#2241692 - 04/30/12 07:32 AM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: Use to be]
MrBond Offline
Member

Registered: 06/18/08
Posts: 11152
Go back and read my posts. It details step by step what you need to do. What else do you need to know? It's time for you to stop running around and start concentrating.
_________________________
M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

Top
#2241693 - 04/30/12 07:38 AM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: MrBond]
Use to be Offline
Member

Registered: 02/03/12
Posts: 108
But your post is asking me to work on my child.

I am asking guidance for my goals.
Or is there anyone here who can advice me?

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#2241699 - 04/30/12 10:13 AM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: Use to be]
MrBond Offline
Member

Registered: 06/18/08
Posts: 11152
In all my years of helping people here, I have NEVER met anyone as stubborn as you.

I'll say it again! If you work on getting your child back and being a good father, it will help you to get your wife back.

YOU CANNOT DO ANYTHING DIRECTLY TO YOUR WIFE TO GET HER BACK!

Show her that you have changed (And stop telling me that she can't see your changes!) by just being a good dad first and standing up for yourself.

Here is the hard reality. YOU ARE ACTING LIKE A WEAK, PUNY MAN AND SHE DOESN'T WANT YOU! WHAT SHE WANTS IS A STRONG DECISIVE FATHER WHO CAN LEAD!

Right now you are not like that but you can change into it. I have told you time and time again what to do, but you refuse to listen!

There are NO FAST WAYS TO GET YOUR WIFE BACK! You have to take things one step at a time.

STOP ASKING QUESTIONS AND JUST DO WHAT IS SUGGESTED! You haven't tried anything I've suggested, that's why you are in bad shape.

So the question is, are you going to start listening or are you going to keep losing your wife? The choice is yours.
_________________________
M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

Top
#2241700 - 04/30/12 10:14 AM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: MrBond]
MrBond Offline
Member

Registered: 06/18/08
Posts: 11152
Oh and by the way, everyone on this website will tell you the EXACT SAME THING!

I don't mean to sound harsh, but you really aren't understanding. That's okay. How about just doing it and then understanding later.
_________________________
M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

Top
#2241941 - 05/01/12 09:15 AM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: MrBond]
Use to be Offline
Member

Registered: 02/03/12
Posts: 108
MrBond, it will be unfair for you to call me a stubborn and as you already know I am actually working on my child as what you and my counsellor in Singapore have suggested. In fact working on the child is not a strategy but necessary as my boy need a dad. I have love him wholeheartedly.

Now, the problem is I understand I CANNOT DO ANYTHING DIRECTLY TO GET MY WIFE BACK. So I am reading the DR to follow the step inside slowly. I am just asking for a suggestion about my goals, is there anything wrong in it?

DR has worked for many couple in the past and I am at the beginning state looking for help, isn't that what this forum is support to do? I don't understand why you keep thinking I am not working on the child as I have already done it. What I want to do next is follow DR method to save my marriage and I am here to ask for suggestion.

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#2241943 - 05/01/12 09:41 AM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: MrBond]
Use to be Offline
Member

Registered: 02/03/12
Posts: 108
By the way, as I mentioned working on my boy I am doing it now and will continue doing it. And I understand it.

But I am seeking help on DIvorce remedy steps. That is the part on goal setting. Isn't this the forum to discuss when I face difficulties?

Originally Posted By: MrBond
Oh and by the way, everyone on this website will tell you the EXACT SAME THING!

I don't mean to sound harsh, but you really aren't understanding. That's okay. How about just doing it and then understanding later.

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