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#2242232 - 05/02/12 05:31 AM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: Use to be]
Use to be Offline
Member

Registered: 02/03/12
Posts: 108
I spend time playing with him. I change his diaper sometime. At the beginning state of GR birth, I am also the one who suggest to start a saving account for him. That is why I say misunderstanding

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#2242234 - 05/02/12 07:16 AM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: Use to be]
MrBond Offline
Member

Registered: 06/18/08
Posts: 11152
No the only person that is misunderstanding is you.

When your son was born, it's obvious that your wife wanted you to take a more active part in the birth. She wanted you to wake up when she did. She wanted you to help feed and watch him. She wanted you to do alot more to help her. You didn't do that.
It's also the reason why she doesn't trust you with him. It's because she has never seen you do that.

Starting a savings account is great. But your wife wants a husband who is there for her. Who will take care of her. You talk about getting her a warm drink. She wants more than that. She wants a person who can see to all of her needs and whom she can trust and believe in.

And that's why I've been telling you over and over and over again that you need to spend more time with your son. You have to show her that you can be trusted with your son. When you have her trust, then she'll start having feelings for you again.

And yes you need to change your physical appearance. I feel like I'm telling you this over and over again. You have to show her that you're not the same person anymore. You have to show her that your not the same physically and that you are more responsible.

So start seeing your son alone without your mom. Get him overnight. If she gives you a problem about it, then talk to your lawyer.'

Do you have a lawyer?

And you never answered the question before. Do you get jealous when she spends time with other people?
_________________________
M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

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#2242235 - 05/02/12 07:23 AM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: MrBond]
Use to be Offline
Member

Registered: 02/03/12
Posts: 108
I am working to get my son back and spend time with me alone. But till now it have not been successful.

I want to take care of him alone but I know her dad will give negative feedback and make her don't want to let me handle him.

Yes I do have a lawyer who is working with me to defend the divorce.

As for this question, it was answer in the previous post.
I am not a jealous type of person. As long as I know she is faithful to me I never get jeealous.

why I persuade her not to go out so often is because, she will be home late. I am worry about her safety.

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#2242283 - 05/02/12 01:38 PM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: Use to be]
Use to be Offline
Member

Registered: 02/03/12
Posts: 108
Just make a request to her that I would like to spend more time with GR. I ask for GR overnight stay with me. She reject saying. OT at the moment.

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#2242305 - 05/02/12 02:37 PM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: Use to be]
Use to be Offline
Member

Registered: 02/03/12
Posts: 108
Damn it, she call to tell me the reason why I can't bring GR back and I lost it again. Ask her why my fatherhood is so different from others. Tell her we got many misunderstanding

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#2242325 - 05/02/12 03:43 PM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: Use to be]
MrBond Offline
Member

Registered: 06/18/08
Posts: 11152
Calm down.

Tell your lawyer that you want to spend more time with your son and have him write up a legal document forcing your wife to give you more time.

"why I persuade her not to go out so often is because, she will be home late. I am worry about her safety."

This is very controlling. You can't talk to women this way.
_________________________
M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

Top
#2242422 - 05/02/12 10:58 PM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: MrBond]
Use to be Offline
Member

Registered: 02/03/12
Posts: 108
At this stage, the lawyer is working towards defending the divorce. So the custody part will only be discuss with the lawyer if defend is not successful. In fact my lawyer did told me during the first stage I have to try to settle it peacefully else at second stage, I might face problem in custody because she might make it hard for me.

As for what I have said to her, what done cannot be undone now. From our conversion yesterday, she is much farther away from me now.

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#2242433 - 05/03/12 12:05 AM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: Use to be]
MrBond Offline
Member

Registered: 06/18/08
Posts: 11152
Can you write down exactly what you said?

Are you still able to see your son?
_________________________
M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

Top
#2242434 - 05/03/12 12:12 AM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: MrBond]
Use to be Offline
Member

Registered: 02/03/12
Posts: 108
She called and tell me the reason why she don't allow me to bring GR back yet.
So I told her why my fatherhood is so different from other. I have just only become a dad. I said I can take care of him but she say no because before GR sleep he will always look for her mother (my in law). So I lost it, tell her if our misunderstanding can be clear, this will not have happen. Referring to the letter of divorce I mention we can solve those problem but she told me within the paper, she can only write that bit. If she were to write everything, she can write as thick as a dictionary.

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#2242435 - 05/03/12 12:20 AM Re: Saving my marriage even she file for a divorce [Re: Use to be]
Use to be Offline
Member

Registered: 02/03/12
Posts: 108
In fact I am expecting this outcome. I know asking for a GR over night stay will make things worst but I try because of encouragement here

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