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Is their an area in our lives that is open-ended or unclear?


Me- 34 W-33
S15 S10 S6
Married- 11 Together- 18
Bomb- 6-2011
WAW moves out- 8-2011

"Nothing in the Universe can stop you from letting go and starting over at anytime"- Guy Finley
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labug Offline OP
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Acceptance of that is the key.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
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I'm a Sag too, what is it with us?


Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced
M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11
Start Reconcile: 8/15/11
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced)
In a New Relationship: 3/2015
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,855
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zig Offline
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well for starters:

too honest (always gets us in trouble - foot in the mouth syndrome)
impulsive
go-getters
a bit self-involved
very loud
sometimes obnoxious

but we also

love whole heartedly
are very fair
loyal, committed and a general pain in the a$$ when we don't shoot the arrow to the target

we, of course, are extremely lovable when our faults are NOT being looked at too closely

but then, again, who isn't...


me 46 H 38
M10yrs T 11
S10
BD ow 8/11
h filed 9/25/12


"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"

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WAS has no love for the horse-man?


Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced
M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11
Start Reconcile: 8/15/11
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced)
In a New Relationship: 3/2015
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 803
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my H is a sag. so now i'm all confused. lol


Me:38.. H:33.
Two beautiful kids S:6 D:3
M:8.. together for 11.
Bomb dropped:10/17/11
Separated:11/07/11
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,855
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zig Offline
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are you asking me?

oh i know he loves me tons - just can't live with me - she says breezily, as she picks up another arrow and tries to aim for the sky.....

i forgot one more- so insanely optimistic that you wonder if she's out of her head!!!


me 46 H 38
M10yrs T 11
S10
BD ow 8/11
h filed 9/25/12


"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"

Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,855
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zig Offline
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so am i - can't think how to figure it out from the other side (grin).

must be the self-involved aspect magnifying!!


me 46 H 38
M10yrs T 11
S10
BD ow 8/11
h filed 9/25/12


"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 9,676
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labug Offline OP
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I've come here several times to post this week and. just. couldn't.

Lots of emotion for various reasons. I no longer chastise myself for not being detached enough and just feel my feelings and let them go. Sometimes easy, sometimes not.

I had contact with H several times over the last few weeks, he brought S22 home from school, was spending time with S19. And then all of a sudden it's nothing. Typical for an MLC I guess but still hurts a little.

And this week was H's b-day (I should change his age in my sig line). I just texted Happy Birthday, he thanked me. Generalissimo Francisco Franco is STILL dead.

I've been working a lot on anger and resentment over the last couple of weeks. And I have a boatload to work on. eek
Many times I may not even realize that what I'm feeling is anger because I've become so used to stuffing it or denying my anger. My goal is to not be so concerned with the anger but rather my reaction to my anger.

Anger can come out in many different ways-rage, resentment, P/A behaviors. I've tried them all and let me save you some time-none of them will get you what you want. Unless you want to be unhappy.

My anger is usually borne of fear, loss of control, shame. Realizing this helps me gauge how I respond in situations so I'm not reacting out of anger. I'm also really understanding that others don't "make" me angry, that's all me and my choices.

And by the same token, I'm not responsible for the feelings of others. That is a freeing thought. As long as I'm speaking my truth without manipulation or deceit, their feelings are just that, their feelings.

S22 is applying for a passport for the first time as he wants to go to Canada (yes BF, Canada) this summer. I had explained the process as I knew it and then encouraged him to go to the internet and get the details. He hit a snag because of needing to make an appt to file the paperwork (which is new in the last year here). At this point I could feel fix-it mode kicking in and started looking for alternatives.

Then I just had to say STOP! to myself. He's 22, he can figure this out and if he doesn't get it done by the time he wants to leave, it's his life, let him live it.

So this has been a bit of a ramble but I needed to get it out.

Is this DBing? I don't know

Will it bust my divorce? Another don't know.

Is it moving me along a different path and toward a new and better place.

Yes!


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 9,676
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labug Offline OP
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I did increase my GAL activities this week. Got on my bike more, that's always a good thing.

Target practice with the sons yesterday, which was a great morning. I hadn't done that for a long time and it's always nice when your kids can teach you things, and you allow it. S19 is very knowledgeable about gun safety and so I soaked up all the information he had to give me. And thanked him for sharing it.

We stopped on the way home for a Sonoran hot dog!

Spent the afternoon with a friend catching up on last week's episode of Mad Men.

A pretty good week.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
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