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Bug - It sounds like you are in a good place. I especially like to hear about the increasing contact with your H. Isn't there a saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder?"

Anyway, you are doing great! Keep it up!


Me51 W53 S17 S14
M22 T25
Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11

It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.

Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
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labug, I am glad to hear you are in a reasonably good place. Hopefully the positive interactions with your H will multiply!


BITS
Me:46 / W:47 / M:19 / T:21 / S13
Bomb#1: 5/8/2008
MC: 5/2008 - 4/2010
Bomb#2: 2/10/2011
W moves out 5/7/2011

'With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.' - Matt. 19:26
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Really interesting how your H has been around more these days. He may feel safer around you.

I love how you traced your anger. The need to be a perfectionist is such a strong character defect it can definitely do a lot of harm if we dont keep our eye on it.

You are an amazing gift to us on these boards, I believe he will see that in you as well.


----
M 39
H 35
D5,D4
M 4
T 9
ILYBNILWY 5/18/11
Left 7/11/11
Divorced 12/1/13

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labug Offline OP
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Oh BK, thanks!

All I know for sure is that I am becoming a gift to myself.

I know, sounds corny but it's true.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
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labug Offline OP
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So, I'm off to work this morning, working straight through the weekend. This always sounds like a good thing when I put it on the schedule but when it actually arrives...not such a good thing.

A good thing about working at 2 jobs, every week has a payday!

S22 comes home from school this weekend. It will be good to have him home again for awhile. He mentioned doing some traveling but no concrete plans. H is going to pick him up at school. I miss those family things but it's good that they're making a guys day of it as S19 is going along.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
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Don't work too hard! Get some rest too! Very good that you can see the positives in your H's interactions with your sons.

You're a gift to more than just yourself!


Me:45, W:45
S:16 D:13
M:22, T:25
Bomb: July 2010
Putting finances in order for "D"
Continue to live in same home-separate rooms
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labug Offline OP
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Wow ces, thanks.

I'm just another traveler.

“Like all explorers, we are drawn to discover what's out there without knowing yet if we have the courage to face it.” Pema Chodron


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,711
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Count your blessings in whatever form they may take.


Me51 W53 S17 S14
M22 T25
Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11

It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.

Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
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I love the Pema Chodron quote. I have been reading her a lot lately and her words give me great comfort. Glad your S is coming home, enjoy!


Me(f): 51 W: 41
DP:8 M:3 T:10
"W not happy" 7/11
D final: 8/13
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labug Offline OP
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Reading Pema has pulled me through some dark days.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
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