Oh. Well maybe you are right. Yes, letting her own her faults and me mine. But I think she is extra bitchy because of the meds she is taking. Doesn't excuse the behavior necessarily but may be a contributing factor.
But I get your point. Recently I was posting elsewhere and was annoyed by something someone had said. So in response I was standing my ground, which is good. But then I went on and said "sorry if I'm coming across as annoyed". That's not good!!!!! It completely invalidates my right to my own opinion.
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
I just want you to see it, in a way that may have not seen it before.
If you are always there to pick her up, then she will never have to find her own way.
And also to think about how that might affect what YOU want in the future. It would certainly affect the plan that you are thinking about.
It's a razorblade that you have to walk...that line between being an asss and having a sack full of tact. And I think that is what Starsky was pointing out earlier to you, that you have to know the difference.
For me, it came down to validating while laying out personal boundaries. Choosing your words carefully, and relaying exactly what you want to say.
What Starsky said...."Apology accepted" is perfectly placed on that line. It doesn't try to change how she feels, and it allows her to own her words and actions. It also lets you acknowledge her text, without trying to make something out of it, that isn't there.
This is one of the hardest things to learn, and until you see it, you won't see it (duh !!! )
Just a quick post to brag on S13 whose soccer team won their 4 straight game of the season, 3 of which have been shut outs! Although my son didn't score any goals, he did serve as the official play maker for both goals scored. Meaning he had the guts while someone else got the glory! I'm still proud of him and his unselfish manner of play!
Tonight, I went with my roommate to a charity event at a local restaurant/bar and girl grabbed my butt. How's that for a GAL?
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
