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Hey Tad,

that would not be out of the ordinary for her. I see this kind

of stuff all the time.

Think of all the energy they must be burning up being angry about

who knows what. So.... it is not worth going into her head to

figure it out because you can't afford your head space for the

nonsense.

Eventually, you just get used to it and realize you are moving

forward and she will stay stuck for who cares how long?

WS

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Thanks WS.

I guess I am just still having a hard time understanding how someone who loved me "so deeply for so many years" can just turn on me like a raging Pitbull.

I couldn't imagine doing that to anyone...

Tad


Currently:
M 56 XW 57
Sons 38,33,31,29

The Sitch:
Married 26 years
EA w/ OM 9/10
Bomb 10/10 (5 weeks after 25th anniversary)
Sep 12/10
She wants D 1/11
W files 5/11
D final 10/11
XW marries OM 6/13
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Tad,

I have had those same thoughts too throughout. But shortly

after I have those thoughts the new thought overrides it as:

Be glad that you are the LBS.

It would really Su*k to be the MLC'r.

They now continue to live a life of lies and deceit and have

to face this every day. That is something I could not do and am

SO GLAD I do not have to face it every day.

Just continue to move forward and you will be more than OK.

WS

Joined: Nov 2008
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Hi Tad. Of course it was necessary. Duh. :0)

Miss an opportunity to kick you when you might be vulnerable? Perish the thought. And add to that, she gets to fight to reclaim her sons (the one's who's minds you poisoned against her??)

Seriously thought Tad. That's meant to get a rise out of you. Do NOT respond to it. If you do, it will continue.

Besides, you do want her to care about the kids, right? Another reason to not respond to the jab.

There will be more Tad. Kind of like a test and a way to feel like she is fighting for her rights and her kids. Like a kid that fights their parents kind of.

It's expected Tad. And actually, a nice thing for your kids.

I get that a lot, Tad. I encourage her to spend time with the kids. I work hard to make it possible. Even though my daughter doesn't speak to me, I still work to encourage the relationship with my ex and the kids.

Because it's the right thing to do for the kids (that had no say in any of this). You had a choice and still do. They do not.

Think about that last bit before you even consider responding my friend.

My advice, let it go and go with it. You'll have less stress, the kids will get their mom time, and you'll giggle when she does it in the future.

Happy Easter my friend.

AJ


"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK
Put the glass down...
"Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world
Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
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Thanks WS and AJ.

I hope you had a great Easter.

I'm here tonight because I am feeling bad again.

XW brought S17 home tonight. I went to car and told her that I would be keeping him next weekend. (That is what D papers say.) Of course she snapped and got angry. She proceeded to cut down my female friend and remind me what a loser I was who "cant get a decent job."

I give up. I really do.

It is not that she doesn't love me anymore...she hates my f*cking guts.

Tad


Currently:
M 56 XW 57
Sons 38,33,31,29

The Sitch:
Married 26 years
EA w/ OM 9/10
Bomb 10/10 (5 weeks after 25th anniversary)
Sep 12/10
She wants D 1/11
W files 5/11
D final 10/11
XW marries OM 6/13
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Tad,
You should have walked away when she began to spew at you You do not deserve this from a woman who has walked away from her marriage and family. She has absolutely no business coming down on you about your friend or what you are doing now...you are divorced from her. This woman clearly has issues that can't be repaired by you...she has a lot of work to do before she will be whole again.

Please, please stop listening to what she is saying. She is angry at the world and most importantly herself and she is going to project that misery on you and anyone else that will listen. It's hard, but you've got to cut the communications w/her short when she's like this.

Until you begin taking action to walk away and and shutting her down when she speaks to you this way, her behavior will continue just like a bratty child misbehaves. She wants attention whether it's bad or not and you, as the adult right now, need to shut her down when she's acting out. Don't do it after the fact, it needs to be done during the act of disrespecting you.

It's time you man up and take back your life.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Thank you Snodderly. It IS time for me to man up.

I just thought that I would post a small update since I haven't posted in a while.

Last week, X and I got into a text conversation about "parenting time" with S17. Somehow, the subject got onto us. It wasn't angry, but she once again reminded me how she had "been unhappy for years", decided that she was "leaving way back in 2005", and that "we haven't been compatible since 1995", blah blah blah.

When I asked why she bought her wedding dress for our vow renewal even though she was "leaving", she said that she was living in "hope" for things to change.

She reminded me that I hurt her "to the core." When I asked her what it was that I supposedly did, she says: "you obviously haven't been listening. I've explained it 100 times and now it is pointless."

Says she loved me deeply, but doesn't now.

Also said that we don't have to be friends, but should be friendly. (I still have a hard time with that one.)

Anyways, I decided to take the new job offer and I started this week. I think I'm going to like it a lot.

Tad


Currently:
M 56 XW 57
Sons 38,33,31,29

The Sitch:
Married 26 years
EA w/ OM 9/10
Bomb 10/10 (5 weeks after 25th anniversary)
Sep 12/10
She wants D 1/11
W files 5/11
D final 10/11
XW marries OM 6/13
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 295
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Originally Posted By: tadpole1025


When I asked why she bought her wedding dress for our vow renewal even though she was "leaving", she said that she was living in "hope" for things to change.

She reminded me that I hurt her "to the core." When I asked her what it was that I supposedly did, she says: "you obviously haven't been listening. I've explained it 100 times and now it is pointless."


This is soooo MLC. This script gets kind of lame after a while.

I have heard all the same stuff Tad. Truth is Tad, they really

do not know. If they did, they would not use the 100 times line.

They have fallen so far into the abyss that it is hard to

imagine them ever making it out.

It sounds like you are doing well sir. Just keep moving forward

and realize it suc3s to be them. Thank God for your blessings

because you have been blessed. As the time moves along, I am

seeing this more each day. I really think you will see this too

if you have not already.

WS

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Hi Tad!
What new job did you take? I have been reading up on you on the Alt. smile
I check in on you every now and then. smile

WS how are you?
Sometimes I about come to the conclusion that MLC doesnt exist BUT then I think how in the world would ALL these people say ALL the same things??????

Tad my x said he tried....he really tried and he wanted to stay and wait for things to change but he couldnt.
One of the reasons he gave was that I called him TOO MUCH when he went fishing for one or two weeks.
That is funny cause he DID most the calling and would catch heck from his buddies because he CHECKED IN with me.
Now I have thought about this and I have come to the conclusion that they FEEL like they HAVE to do this stuff to satisfy us.
Then when they have felt like they are so unhappy they cant stay, then it all comes out.
Enough to leave a marriage? OF COURSE NOT! How stupid would that be?
BUT along with their depression and other things....YES.

Hugs Tad,
Renee


_________________________________________
M:42
H:40
S:18
M:20yrs/together 21yrs
Bomb:9/08 ILYBNILWY
Sep:9/18/08 "ow" :25
Filed:11/18/08
D:12/8/08
M:Different 26 yr. old 7/09.
Newborn 4/10
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Thanks WS and Sunshine.

Quote:
This is soooo MLC. This script gets kind of lame after a while.

I have heard all the same stuff Tad. Truth is Tad, they really

do not know. If they did, they would not use the 100 times line.


Yeah, I'm beginning to think she really DOESNT know why she left. Except maybe the fact that I "never took her to the right grocery store." smile

Quote:
Tad my x said he tried....he really tried and he wanted to stay and wait for things to change but he couldnt.


Oh yeah. I've heard that line too....100 times. smile

The job I took is an at-home position for a nationwide company. I guess I get to use my radio skills because I'll be talking to people all day. Working from home is pretty awesome too.

Take care.

Tad


Currently:
M 56 XW 57
Sons 38,33,31,29

The Sitch:
Married 26 years
EA w/ OM 9/10
Bomb 10/10 (5 weeks after 25th anniversary)
Sep 12/10
She wants D 1/11
W files 5/11
D final 10/11
XW marries OM 6/13
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