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#2235301 - 04/04/12 12:08 AM Re: RYoure: Husband of 17 year out the door in a hurry [Re: barely floating]
hopeless in wa Offline
Member

Registered: 01/29/12
Posts: 285
I agree, I just drafted a whole email to my lawyer and am not going to do anything till I hear from her. It was nice to see the sun today. I will go read Purg's. Just want this settled, didn't pack a thing today!

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#2235308 - 04/04/12 12:51 AM Re: RYoure: Husband of 17 year out the door in a hurry [Re: hopeless in wa]
hopeless in wa Offline
Member

Registered: 01/29/12
Posts: 285
Really feeling the need to compartmentalize right now. I need to not let this latest turn give me too much anxiety. That's what my lawyer is for. He informed me if we get into legal battle, I would have to pay for her myself. Originally, he offered to pay for her to look over my settlement. Well she didn't takes credit cards (our joint) and I paid her the first time. Have not been reimbursed. On top of all this he is going in for back surgery on Thursday. Didn't want me there. So the need to compartmentalize. My h. is a genious at it.

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#2235313 - 04/04/12 01:58 AM Re: RYoure: Husband of 17 year out the door in a hurry [Re: hopeless in wa]
hopeless in wa Offline
Member

Registered: 01/29/12
Posts: 285
25, if you are out there, I see you responded to a quote on hpoing and praying about d'bing during property settlement and lawyers. I read it but didn't realize you were working off my quote. Glad I found it today. Good advice about the fear. Must have been where I got the compartmentalize. Thank you.

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#2235319 - 04/04/12 04:13 AM Re: RYoure: Husband of 17 year out the door in a hurry [Re: hopeless in wa]
hopeless in wa Offline
Member

Registered: 01/29/12
Posts: 285
Ok, I'm going to fess up. I have a guilty pleasure - I sometimes need to watch mindless tv - Real Houswives of OC. A couple of them are going thru d. Tamra signed her d. papers tonite, and she had been married a long time. She wanted d., took 2 years to do and got really upset at signing. She felt like she was writing off 14 years. There were good times.

This makes me want to prepare for that in a couple of weeks, if we can settle. It will be final. How do I db with that. The only hope I have is that somehow in our future, if this doesn't get totally ugly, we can remain friends and see each other periodically, so he can see my changes. I don't know. I I really don't have much hope for r. I think that I will just have to get on to my own good life, which I will try hard to create. Is this dropping the rope? Who knows. The fact that this is all happening in a timeframe of 3 months, it is overwhelming. I feel like I can't spell anymore! Please overlook. Washington state should adjust the 90 days, really!

Just journalling here.

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#2235393 - 04/04/12 12:44 PM Re: RYoure: Husband of 17 year out the door in a hurry [Re: hopeless in wa]
finding nemo Offline
Member

Registered: 03/26/12
Posts: 81
Hopeless,

I think I'm in a similar sitch, my H hasn't even been moved out for 2 months and he is pushing hard for us to go to mediation so we can get on with our lives. UGH!! We were seeing a MC in January, now we're seeing attorneys! WTH?!! Luckily, Maryland has a 1 year waiting period, so I'm not sure why H thinks he can rush this through. I guess it's possible that there's someone feeding him info and pressuring him to get this over with. (Not sure if there's an OW or not, but I have heard rumors.) I'd just like the ability to get caught up as I feel completely unprepared for what's going on, plus being a single parent to 3 kids is not a piece of cake. Wishing my H would return and this alien would go back from where he came!

Washington only has a 90 waiting period - that's NUTS!!

As for advice, as I'm new I am sure someone will be on here to impart some wonderful words of wisdom. But for now, I guess you're stuck with me! Know that today is just one day and you just have to get through today. Don't borrow problems from tomorrow. And as my wise aunt keeps telling me, just remember to Breathe!

Good luck and I hope your day gets better!
_________________________
Me: 42 H: 44
M: 17 1/2 T: 19 1/2
S: 14
D: 10
D: 8
Dog: 16-17 (very old & H's responsibility, live w/ me)
1st Bomb (I need space): 2/3/12
2nd Bomb (ILYBNILWY): 2/11/12
Moved out: 2/12/12

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#2235520 - 04/04/12 09:21 PM Re: RYoure: Husband of 17 year out the door in a hurry [Re: finding nemo]
hopeless in wa Offline
Member

Registered: 01/29/12
Posts: 285
Well, spent the afternnon at the eye doctor. That stuff is expensive. Got home to an email from current lawyer. Because she is a collaborative l. she can't me. Gave I referral, see him tommorrow.

H. goes in for back surgery tommorrow. Had to ask him divorce $ questions in preparing for l. tommorrow. It was pleasant. He let me know he listed his mother to make decisions if anything goes wrong. Ouch!

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#2235555 - 04/05/12 02:10 AM Re: RYoure: Husband of 17 year out the door in a hurry [Re: hopeless in wa]
hopeless in wa Offline
Member

Registered: 01/29/12
Posts: 285
Sometimes lately this wave just washes over me, like I CAN'T do this. I mean all of it. The lawyers, the moving, the sadness, I'm just feeling really weary. I hope it stops when things get settled. I can usually make the feeling go away for awhile by focusing on a task. Had to get all my papers ready for meeting new lawyer tommorrow, Hope it goes well.

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#2235766 - 04/05/12 09:22 PM Re: RYoure: Husband of 17 year out the door in a hurry [Re: hopeless in wa]
hopeless in wa Offline
Member

Registered: 01/29/12
Posts: 285
Well I postponed l. till tommorrow. I haven't done one productive thing to day. Realized I wanted to be available for phone call him. He came through it just fine. I just feel so sad, I should be there with him at hospital. So tommorrow, back to it. Going to continue to goof off tonite. Watch Gray's Anatomy!

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#2235775 - 04/05/12 09:44 PM Re: RYoure: Husband of 17 year out the door in a hurry [Re: hopeless in wa]
barely floating Offline
Member

Registered: 12/13/11
Posts: 750
HIW... i still get those waves of sadness.. but they don't completely consume me like they use to.. and the recovery is quicker...

if you want to goof off tonight.. i'm all for it!! there was a night where i needed that. planned it all out.. kids were at my mom's.. didn't plan to go home until after H had left.. didn't tell anyone i was calling in sick to work.. but i ended up getting caught! lol. H fell asleep and hadn't left by the time i got back and he ended up being late for work. sometimes even the best plans have their little blips.

maybe nice bubbly bath after grey's? sit by the window and read until the sun sets?? wonder if i could pull off half an hour of uninterrupted reading?? hmmmm.. nope! D is jumping up and down on the couch and is sure to follow me if i try to escape. lol.

((((( )))))
_________________________
Me:38.. H:33.
Two beautiful kids S:6 D:3
M:8.. together for 11.
Bomb dropped:10/17/11
Separated:11/07/11

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#2235781 - 04/05/12 09:52 PM Re: RYoure: Husband of 17 year out the door in a hurry [Re: barely floating]
hopeless in wa Offline
Member

Registered: 01/29/12
Posts: 285
Barely, it was more tha just sadness. The energy drain, the mental drain. Plus if I get some answers tommorrow from lawyer, either it will settle it or just start a huge war. I just want to be fair. So hoping for the best. I am envious of your kids, hard to be alone so much. Did talk briefly with d. tonite. Maybe s. will have time to call. Have fun with monkeys!

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