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#2232959 - 03/24/12 03:07 AM Re: RYoure: Husband of 17 year out the door in a hurry [Re: hopeless in wa]
hopeless in wa Offline
Member

Registered: 01/29/12
Posts: 285
Well, spent a great day with H. The weather was great, we took a trip into town to get car title, registration mess taken care of. Had easy conversation, just like always. Then sat right next to each other for most of the afternoon working on my computer. Had some snacks, opened a bottle of white zin. That's what just kills me. I looked good, was cheerful, it was all so normal and familiar. It makes me miss him so much. This is when my looong term thinking has to kick in. We will stay in contact, he will see good changes in me and maybe???

Right after bomb, I got the book ILUBINILWU, it was before I knew about db. I gave him the book to read with all sorts of notes in the margin plus a letter detailing all of the things I did wrong. Well today as he was leaving, he said he had started to read it. Wow, i'ts not going to stop D. and me moving, I get that, but I'm glad he's somewhat willing to take a look. My 35 year old d. and her bf were having troubles. I rec. that book to her and she said it is really helping. Anyway, going to have another glass of white zin and try not to obsess about anything. Plus he's coming back tommorrow to do yard work. We will see how that goes. We hugged goodbye and I held on and said human contact and he hugged me again. Not reading into any of that but it felt good.

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#2232962 - 03/24/12 03:19 AM Re: RYoure: Husband of 17 year out the door in a hurry [Re: hopeless in wa]
hopingandpraying Offline
Member

Registered: 02/22/12
Posts: 283
I'm happy to hear you had a great day with you h. It is good that he is reading the book...you never know!

I know what you mean about it feeling normal when you're with your h. We went in our first date wince being separated last week and it had its ups and downs but for the most part it felt normal...like we didn't skip a beat. Now that is on my end...not sure what he was thinkingbor feeling.
_________________________
M: 27 H: 28 T: 8 yrs M: 6 yrs
Sep: 2/18/12 (I have no feelings for you!)
EA/PA Uncovered: 2/26/12
H introduces OW to his fam: June
H moves ALL stuff out: July

I'm living my truth without your lies..

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#2232963 - 03/24/12 03:25 AM Re: RYoure: Husband of 17 year out the door in a hurry [Re: hopeless in wa]
barely floating Offline
Member

Registered: 12/14/11
Posts: 757
i'm so glad you had a nice day w/ H. and if your H is anything like mine.. him reading the book you suggested is huge! and it must be really nice to have human contact. no expectations. but i'm really happy you had a good day.

tomorrow should bring beautiful weather too? it was gorgeous today. and warm. i just looked up the book you mentioned. also saw a couple of other books. i'm curious.. why are some kindle books more expensive then their printed versions? isn't that odd?

hoping for more positive interactions w/ you and H tomorrow. you seem like an incredibly woman. H is a fool. hope he's not a fool for too long.

(((( )))) wish i could drive down an give you a human contact hug!!! smile
_________________________
Me:38.. H:33.
Two beautiful kids S:6 D:3
M:8.. together for 11.
Bomb dropped:10/17/11
Separated:11/07/11

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#2232966 - 03/24/12 03:34 AM Re: RYoure: Husband of 17 year out the door in a hurry [Re: barely floating]
hopeless in wa Offline
Member

Registered: 01/29/12
Posts: 285
Well, it was a nice day. BUT it really changes nothing, and him reading the book, maybe down the line it may do something. But I just can't go there. I have to be so careful of expectations. I mean he also brought me boxes and packing tape. This is so hard. We walked around the yard. I said you have to invite me back when all in bloom. He said sure. Ahh, so hard. But you know. Are you feeling any better tonite?

I don't have a kindle, maybe in my future.

Thank god for this place!

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#2232967 - 03/24/12 03:39 AM Re: RYoure: Husband of 17 year out the door in a hurry [Re: hopeless in wa]
hopeless in wa Offline
Member

Registered: 01/29/12
Posts: 285
Barely, I can't find you on this board. Would you post something so I can find you??

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#2232981 - 03/24/12 05:46 AM Re: RYoure: Husband of 17 year out the door in a hurry [Re: hopeless in wa]
hopeless in wa Offline
Member

Registered: 01/29/12
Posts: 285
ok, I found you!

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#2233026 - 03/24/12 03:29 PM Re: RYoure: Husband of 17 year out the door in a hurry [Re: hopeless in wa]
labug Offline
Member

Registered: 11/25/11
Posts: 8918
Loc: Sonoran Desert
If you click on a posters name to the left of their posts, and then click on View Posts, you can get a listing of their posts.

Makes it much easier to find people.
_________________________
Me 57/H 58
M36 S24 S21
Bomb 3/11 Sep 3/11
Piecing 9/13 12/13 Reconciling

"We can make ourselves miserable, or we can make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same"~Carlos Castenada

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#2233041 - 03/24/12 05:13 PM Re: RYoure: Husband of 17 year out the door in a hurry [Re: labug]
Quorumof1 Offline
New Member

Registered: 03/19/12
Posts: 13
Loc: Western Canada
HinW,

I am glad that you had some connection time with your H. I will be moving out of our home in another week.

But for the past few weeks since we "agreed to separate" on the nights we are both home, we still sit in front of the tv and watch a show or two on Netflix. I bring dinner home occasionally and make sure I have some for her if she wants it. Some nights she does, some she doesn't.

All I can do is try to remain positive but aloof.

It sounds like you are doing a good job of that yourself. Keep it up!

Q1
_________________________
M: 48 W:49
M:16 T:19
No kids
Distancing last 18 months
I have no feelings for you (we should separate): Feb 24/12
Me voluntarily moving out: Apr 1/12 (Fool's Day!)

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#2233077 - 03/24/12 09:29 PM Re: RYoure: Husband of 17 year out the door in a hurry [Re: Quorumof1]
hopeless in wa Offline
Member

Registered: 01/29/12
Posts: 285
H. is here right now. It is torture!!!! He's out taking care of the yard we planned together. Cleaning up my herb garden that I won't be here to see. Playing the music on the deck, which we always used to enjoy together. Heartbreaking, and I am having to hide all my feelings. I hate this. But I have to carry on. Will post later after he leaves.

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#2233103 - 03/25/12 12:53 AM Re: RYoure: Husband of 17 year out the door in a hurry [Re: hopeless in wa]
barely floating Offline
Member

Registered: 12/14/11
Posts: 757
hang in there. (((( )))) it's another beautiful day. should be a beautiful night too.
_________________________
Me:38.. H:33.
Two beautiful kids S:6 D:3
M:8.. together for 11.
Bomb dropped:10/17/11
Separated:11/07/11

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