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A Message from Michele
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#2230687 - 03/15/12 02:23 AM Re: The Space Between... [Re: rickb89]
MrBond Offline

Registered: 06/18/08
Posts: 12602
Follow 25's advice.

He hasn't shown anything that would prove he's even a fit temporary parent. Keep custody for yourself. He hasn't even earned the right to be called a man.
M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.


#2230699 - 03/15/12 02:45 AM Re: The Space Between... [Re: MrBond]
AlwaysTrying Offline

Registered: 10/27/11
Posts: 243
Doesn't the saying go, "Don't trust anything you hear and less than half of what you see and don't make plans based on the ridiculously insane things they say they want a year from now"?

I think I got the quote wrong, but it's pretty close to that.

- All for the kids -
Me:34, W:35
M:7, T:13
S6, D3 + my D15 from previous marriage
July 2011 "I think I need a separation"
W filed D September
Currently living apart - she has the house, I rent a room

#2230702 - 03/15/12 02:48 AM Re: The Space Between... [Re: AlwaysTrying]
ces67 Offline

Registered: 12/23/11
Posts: 1030
I like AT's version of the quote!
Me:45, W:45
S:16 D:13
M:22, T:25
Bomb: July 2010
Putting finances in order for "D"
Continue to live in same home-separate rooms

#2230707 - 03/15/12 02:54 AM Re: The Space Between... [Re: ces67]
labug Offline

Registered: 11/25/11
Posts: 9676
Loc: Sonoran Desert
Maybe he's planning for a year (+2.5 mos) from now in an attempt to create a future he's unsure of.
Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss

#2230729 - 03/15/12 04:01 AM Re: The Space Between... [Re: labug]
NLW Offline

Registered: 09/09/11
Posts: 1355
Hi Purg,
Just to let you know that my H has expressed a similar fantasy, albeit with a slightly longer time-frame.

We will be divorced and living separate lives but he will keep most of his stuff here and live in a rented room at his mate's house for the next 5 years until S13 finishes school.

H will keep the family car (and I will have to buy myself a new one) because..... he will be picking the kids up from school and driving them back to our home every day for the FOR THE NEXT 5 YEARS.

Oh, but wait, just got a call from H to say he can't make it to pick them up today.... he's busy. A bit like the day before yesterday ....

Mad as.

#2230738 - 03/15/12 04:56 AM Re: The Space Between... [Re: purgatory]
kml Online

Registered: 01/18/03
Posts: 13712
Yes, I agree, it's a bit of fantasy, and a roundabout way of expressing that he's gonna miss the kids. Don't worry too much about it - a lot is gonna change in a year.

BUT - you CAN have a bit of fun with it.

he talked about the apartment he would get and I asked him how he was going to fit the kids and all their/his stuff in there. He responded with: "well, I don't have that much stuff. I mean, all my garage stuff will stay in there and I'll probably have to become more establishe in the guest room- but I could make it work.

"Oh, sweetie, I'm pretty sure my new boyfriend/husband is going to want that garage space for his own tools/truck/workbench/weight bench"

He rattled off some ideas that's he's already researched housing and the possibility of me staying in my current house

"Oh, sweetie, I was thinking perhaps I would move to California/Hawaii/Montana"

#2230768 - 03/15/12 11:02 AM Re: The Space Between... [Re: NLW]
purgatory Offline

Registered: 12/13/11
Posts: 825
Loc: Virginia
Real quick.... In my H's defense (very, very small defense)

When he said that he wanted primary custody for a year when he gets back, his reasons were because *I* (as in me, Purg) deserve it because I will have been a single parent for a year, and he thinks it's only fair that *I be given some free time while he takes on the majority of responsibilities.

When I went back and re-read my post, I can see how it appeared that he was saying how *he* deserved it and that it was fair to him.... And apparently that's how everyone took it. Not that I'd saying his reasons are any more logical than before, just wanted to clarify.

Given that, I still think he's being selfish and rediculous!! I have. I have no intention on dignifying his ideas with a reasponse anytime soon!
M-31, H-31
T-9, M-7
S-6, s-20mth
sep 8/1/11
ILYNILWY 11/29/11
Creating separation papers.
Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12
H moves out 1.20.12

#2230774 - 03/15/12 11:41 AM Re: The Space Between... [Re: purgatory]
rickb89 Offline

Registered: 10/04/11
Posts: 1119
Purg - blasting med for typos while giving out false info!

#2230778 - 03/15/12 11:58 AM Re: The Space Between... [Re: kml]
Rick1963 Offline

Registered: 08/11/11
Posts: 2900
Loc: Piney Land
Oh Purg who needs drugs when all u need is to become a WAS.
M 53
D 20
Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24
Together 26 yrs
Married 16
W Filed for D 7/21/11
Served 9/6/11
D final 8/28/12

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

John Wooden

#2230875 - 03/15/12 04:08 PM Re: The Space Between... [Re: Rick1963]
BFloat Offline

Registered: 12/14/11
Posts: 803
Also, from what I've seen of you as a mom.. How would it be fair to take them away from you for a year? (yes I realize you would have visitation and all...) I understand your H thinking that it would be nice for you to have that freedom but I guess he's forgotten that it isn't you who's unhappy being in a M and caring for your kids. Funny.. I don't think you feel the need to have a year off as primary caregiver.. You need a partner to co parent on an everyday basis.

I love the interesting logic the WAS have. At least it's good for a laugh or two.

Geez.. You might need 2 rabbits with all your free time!!
Me:38.. H:33.
Two beautiful kids S:6 D:3
M:8.. together for 11.
Bomb dropped:10/17/11

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