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Yes it was a good Sunday! A beautiful day here in the desert, we've had a nice, long spring and I have enjoyed it.
Rode my bike, did some yoga and saw H who I haven't seen since Thanksgiving (maybe we will have a marriage in which we only see each other on holidays ). He came to help S19 with his car and we got to have a nice long conversation, mostly about S19.
I'm feeling very free right now but will have to sit with this for a while to uncover my true feelings.
I feel so bad tonight...Let's just say this has not been a stellar day in my history as a mother. I lost my temper with my son, kicked a chair out of my way and banged a wall with my hand. He can be such a hard case sometimes, no drive, no direction, no plan. I was just so frustrated.
I did apologize, not for my anger but for not managing it better. I had even left the house earlier for awhile to get away and cool off.
I feel like all the work I put into improving our relationship over the last year has gone down the drain because I had to act like a child.
Yes, I tantrumed. And I'm sad for both of us. All I can do now is dust myself off and carry on.
And listen when that little voice inside says STOP!