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#2229087 - 03/09/12 07:07 AM Re: Husband has moved in with affair [Re: BeingMe]
8anb Offline
Member

Registered: 02/24/12
Posts: 43
BTW the child does not live with them, the child lives with the father; not sure how that is working out.

well, today is not a good day as i am questioning why am i putting myself through this? for what? h wants to buy less expensive vehicle but with the ow to save $ and i said that was not going to do - if things change i will have a say - h did not really comment.

again, today is starting rough as i have been questioning myself since awaking at 5 am this is not good. i have an appt with marriage counselor today as well, he will tell me to divorce and move on as he did in the first session - not sure if this is someone i want to keep seeing as they are not open to any other options.

pray for me, as i have already done so, twice on my way to work as i said it is going to be a long day.

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#2229152 - 03/09/12 11:01 AM Re: Husband has moved in with affair [Re: 8anb]
8anb Offline
Member

Registered: 02/24/12
Posts: 43
ok, so looking at other sites and searching the web, one place suggests contacting everyone friends, family, co-workers etc to expose the affair which would put pressure on h and ow to stop?

in my opnion not really sure what this would do other than push h and ow to continue with affair (no different than now) but with an attitude of rebellion or an "us against them mentallity"
any thoughts.......

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#2229163 - 03/09/12 11:42 AM Re: Husband has moved in with affair [Re: 8anb]
TSquared2 Online   content
Member

Registered: 12/23/11
Posts: 2222
Loc: Rocky Mountains
in my experience from phase 1 of my W's mlc, when I tried to separate them, it would push them together...

OW is messing around with a married man, with kids and a good, willing to work on it spouse...what does that say about her?

Do you think she is deserving of one iota of your energy/attention?
_________________________
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus

Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm


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#2229165 - 03/09/12 11:47 AM Re: Husband has moved in with affair [Re: TSquared2]
8anb Offline
Member

Registered: 02/24/12
Posts: 43
that is what i am saying; i have talked with my pastor and he does not think it is a good idea; i was just looking at what other sites had to say.

my pastor thinks it is just an affair, not mlc, but it is hard to say what it is until time passes, i guess. in it being an affair my pastor thinks it has to run its course, maybe 6 months or so and that h has to come out of this fog they are in which is being infatuated by this ow. again, it is a matter of time passing, which is on my side:) but really hard to do:(

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#2229179 - 03/09/12 12:30 PM Re: Husband has moved in with affair [Re: 8anb]
TSquared2 Online   content
Member

Registered: 12/23/11
Posts: 2222
Loc: Rocky Mountains
either way, the OP will show their true colors, sooner or later (I know we all would prefer "sooner")...I saw it the first time around, seeing it now...just have to wait for them to "figure it out" that OP is just a fantasy...

My IC suggested I move out...ummm...no...I am NOT leaving my kids, my house, my life, even if I could float the extra $$$...

I like her (my IC) for other issues, but not marriage at the moment (I do think she'll be great with M boundaries and piecing, however).

What can you do for YOU right now? You have time now, while he figures out his sh_t, for you and what you want you and your life to be like.

I have found the mediation that I found for vets with ptsd at patriotoutreach to be very helpful (be still and know exercise) through my sitch...all about forgiveness, making allowances, etc.

Also, search on the forum for the MLC "recipe"...very helpful.

my .03

T^2
_________________________
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus

Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm


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#2229183 - 03/09/12 12:39 PM Re: Husband has moved in with affair [Re: TSquared2]
8anb Offline
Member

Registered: 02/24/12
Posts: 43
what is the mlc recipe?

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#2229184 - 03/09/12 12:43 PM Re: Husband has moved in with affair [Re: TSquared2]
TSquared2 Online   content
Member

Registered: 12/23/11
Posts: 2222
Loc: Rocky Mountains
It is a post I found in the archives a long time ago, I can re-post it here, or maybe Cadet or someone has the direct link.
_________________________
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus

Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm


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#2229185 - 03/09/12 12:48 PM Re: Husband has moved in with affair [Re: TSquared2]
8anb Offline
Member

Registered: 02/24/12
Posts: 43
i have the post from cadet when i first came to the site with several links and info about mlc - is that it? doen't specifically say mcl recipe - i am simple

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#2229188 - 03/09/12 12:54 PM Re: Husband has moved in with affair [Re: TSquared2]
BeingMe Offline
Member

Registered: 11/04/04
Posts: 4053
Loc: Canada
_________________________
Me:55 H:50 M:27 S:2 Been to the lawyer.
D32,S/D twins25,D20
EA4/04 End4/05?
Life is good! Living with gratitude.

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#2229191 - 03/09/12 01:00 PM Re: Husband has moved in with affair [Re: BeingMe]
TSquared2 Online   content
Member

Registered: 12/23/11
Posts: 2222
Loc: Rocky Mountains
yup, that would be it (first link).
_________________________
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus

Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm


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