deployment to divorce 1

[31nheartbroken]

I think today made me really realize that I had gotten too far back into a place where H's actions affected me way too much!!

Rings came back off a few days ago (I figured out that I really needed to do this for me to really and I am, again, trying to just focus on the kids and I and do things only for me!!

labug: normally I contain the wishful thinking stuff enough to where I don't dwell on it too much! I do find it helpful though because, although I know things will never play out like I imagine and may never work out the way I want, I use the wishful thinking as fantasies or daydreams and as long as I keep them in check, they help with the PMA.

I thought I was very well detached for a while. For example: when I found the FB info of H's I was very angry, but never cried. Within a day the anger was gone and I began to feel more indifferent and strong.

I think I became RE-attached when H was in contact with me for most days over a two week period. None of the contacts were about R, but any contact with him seems to be a love language for me!

The brief breakdown today was a sign, to me, that I am starting to become stronger again and working on detaching again. Trying to stick to my schedules and keep H out of my mind.

GAL:
*Yesterday finished painting my extra room blue and put up some decor
*spent some extra time at the Y today and on the phone with a girlfriend
*tomorrow planning to do some more yardwork and attend my favorite class at the Y

*now that my extra room is almost finished and as soon as I finish it I will begin catching up on my very, very, very far behind scrapbooking and work on some of my other crafts that got started, but never finished.

This is on of my 180's "finishing what I start"!!

[hopeless in wa]

I really feel your pain. Whenever I see my H. I get all sorts of crazy wishful thinking thoughts. I saw him yesterday to go over legal stuff and it pretty much sent me to my bed for the day. My d. will be final April 12. I have to find an apt. and basically move on and hope maybe someday...Hang in there, you are on the same rollercoaster as a lot of us!

[31nheartbroken]

(((hopeless)))

Thank you!! I feel for you with the D in April. My H thought he was gonna file in FL and that our D would be final in May. I was not ready for it to be over that fast!!! I recently found out that FL doesn't consider us residents anymore so, we have to file in NC. Now we have at least 10 months before filing and he is going on another deployment early next year so, fingers crossed that they move the deployment up and he won't have time to file until after that. I am hoping for him just to have enough time to really realize what he's giving up before we go all the way through this.

[31nheartbroken]

Do I question H about why he defriended me, and everyone else, on FB or do I just act "as if" it doesn't bother me?

I think I know the correct DB answer but, just curious!

[labug]

If you know the answer, why are you asking?

Trust yourself to do what's right, even if it's difficult. That's how we grow.