hello everyone, Not too much new here. Hard to beleive we are already in March of this year. Just wondering, how have you all dealt with the urge to start dating? I still love my w, but, am at the point where I would enjoy the company of a female, not so much for sex, but more for companionship. What have been some of your experiences?
m 54 XW 48 m 12 t 14 bomb 6-11 s 10-11 wife moved to other state 10-21-11 d 9-12
O GOD THY SEA IS SO GREAT AND MY BOAT IS SO SMALL!
Gunny I didnt do it, but in my case my W was only gone for 2 weeks.
I have seen 2 different outcomes:
1. This happened to a relative: He posted an ad online, as soon as his now ex found out she sped to the D.
2. Another poster about a year ago. (I'm trying to remember his name). Started dating as soon as his W found out something clicked in her head and she dumped OM and ran back to him.
Ultimately every case is different. I think the biggest factor here is that it may give your W the last excuse she needs to truly let go. For me the risk was not worth it. Of course your circumstances are different. It has been a while.
While I wouldnt be surprised if your W ran to you after you start dating, I wouldn't count on it, and if you are doing it for that reason. Well you'll most likely be disappointed.
Gunny greenblue is correct. It is too soon my friend. I know the loneliness is though but embrace the singlehood for now. Cherished the good memories of your M. God will bring you a new W when he thinks you are ready. Have a great one.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
Hello all, Thanks for the feedback. If my s was still in the area, and I had any kind of interaction with her besides ocassional emails, things would be different. Since, chances are I will not see my s for sometime, if ever, it becomes very difficult to return night after night to an empty house.
I have always had a number of female friends, and have always felt more comfortable around women than men. I know the bottom line is I will know when I'm ready, but I also beleive that it is probably important not to shut myself off from potential relationships. I guess I feel that if my m is meant to be, than it will survive. Any new r would be for companionship, really not interested at this point in anything more, too complicated.
Oh well, just venting. As we know, sometimes it just gets very frustrating. The tone and tenor of my w recent emails has been very friendly, asking how the weather is here, how do I like my new place, etc, etc. Don't know if this is because she is content in her new life and it is reflected in her emails, or she is interested in at least developing a decent email correspondance. I tend to think it is alittle of both, either way, life goes on.
GAL activities are going strong, college classes are going well, meetings are keeping me busy, and work is good.
Hope you are all doing well, I always enjoy hearing from you all!!
m 54 XW 48 m 12 t 14 bomb 6-11 s 10-11 wife moved to other state 10-21-11 d 9-12
O GOD THY SEA IS SO GREAT AND MY BOAT IS SO SMALL!
I have been separated for just a little longer than you and I understand.
Make sure you are not dating someone just to fill a void. If you dating to avoid an empty house, then you are not looking for companionship, you are looking for a relationship. In companionship, you still go home to an empty house, if sex is involved that just makes things more complicated and you are then in a relationship.
Enjoy your time alone. No one to gripe at you for doing this or not doing that. Work on you.
Fill the void with friends and family.
Just my 2 cents.
M:35 W:33 M: 5 yrs. Daughter: 2 yr .7/11/10 D Final: 8/7/12
Gunny This is not something I say to newbies, but I think your W may be gone long enough that you may be dealing with an indecisive WAW.
She may not want to be married to you, she may not want to divorce you. She could have a myriad of reasons.
Bottomline she hasn't ran back to you, or ran to divorce court.
The biggest loser here is of course the LBS, since you have been stuck in limbo.
So do you have a time limit, and an escape plan?
It doesn't have to be set in stone, but at least consider how long you will live like this. It also doesn't mean you will walk at an arbitrary calendar day.
It might be as simple as asking yourself every 30 days if you are ready to move on.
Hello Lady, Tested Metal(I like that one),Green Blue, Thank you for your feedback. I am very conflicted. I realize that it would be unfair to me, and to anyone else to enter into a friendship/relationship with undefined boundries, but sometimes things are not cut and dried. You may enter into one with clear expectations of only being friends, but then you get used to having someone around, and you like their company. and then, well before you know it you are in a r. Tough stuff this being left behind.
So, I dont really have a time limit, as I said, I will just take each day as it comes, if my s decides somewhere down the road that she wants to begin at least a friendship then I will take it as it comes.
Thanks again for all your input, time to get back on the rollercoaster, or scrambler, or whatever it is!
m 54 XW 48 m 12 t 14 bomb 6-11 s 10-11 wife moved to other state 10-21-11 d 9-12
O GOD THY SEA IS SO GREAT AND MY BOAT IS SO SMALL!
I am taking two classes this semester using the GI Bill. I am there for the fun of it, no pressure for grades, etc. I am really enjoying the classes and spend alot of the time looking at the students and listening to the professor ask students for the umpteenth time to put down their cell phone, I pad, etc. The last time I took classes 21 years ago, cell phones didnt exist, what a shock my first day of class.
Anyway, last tues we had a midterm. The professor passes out the test, and egads, its one of those fill in the ovals. Well, of course, I forgot to bring my reading glasses, so I have to hold the test about 4 feet away from my face to read the question, and then hold the answer sheet far enough away to pick out the right row and oval, then I have to use a sheet of paper to act as a ruler to keep the rows lined up so i dont fill in the wrong oval. Nightmarish! The other students must have gotten a good laugh, oh well, this getting older stuff is for the birds. lol!
m 54 XW 48 m 12 t 14 bomb 6-11 s 10-11 wife moved to other state 10-21-11 d 9-12
O GOD THY SEA IS SO GREAT AND MY BOAT IS SO SMALL!
