Thanks BF. I was fine most of the day, but had a major bathroom meltdown after dinner. I'm not seeing movement in my sitch and H is still communicating with OW (I asked and he told me on Saturday).
A friend of mine said that there is an old Chinese saying something along the lines of "treat your spouse no worse than you would a guest in your own home." If only all married couples would adopt that philosophy.
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
So I managed to pull myself together, although my eyes are still puffy from all the crying I did. Have a busy day tomorrow so I need to be stress free - YEAH RIGHT!
Still unsure of my short term goals. Does anybody have any suggestions for me?
A friend of mine said that there is an old Chinese saying something along the lines of "treat your spouse no worse than you would a guest in your own home." If only all married couples would adopt that philosophy.
Exactly. H isn't being mean or cruel to me directly, but has to know his A is essentially the same kind of treatment.
RoRo - you keep asking what it is about you. It's not about you. You're a beautiful strong woman and you will be OK. You'll get help when you need it to heal enough to trust again. But there is nothing about you that makes it OK to cheat. That's on him. Hang in there.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
Dang PMS! I literally am a barrell of water again this morning. Makes me even more emotional than normal. Trying to pull it together to go to work. Have to drop H off at the train station too. Gotta be happy and smiling by the time I get in the car.
Boy if I don't get nominated for an Oscar for my performance today...
How is it possible to go from sad to mad this fast? I need some St. John's Wort or something. LOL
Dropped H off, and didn't really talk, but sang along with the radio, and danced in my seat. And then I got to thinking. (I REALLY need to quit doing that. LOL) How DARE he act like everything is okay and that he's not a cheating, lying, you know what? How dare he have the audacity to want to even breathe in my space? Sir, you don't deserve that privilege. UGH! But I digress...back to DBing. Just had to get that out. At least I didn't say it to HIM.
I'd rather be angry right now than sad. At least it'll help me keep it together for work today. Got a dr. appt this afternoon that H is going to with me. Should be relatively painless, but something I need to get done. I'll fill you guys in once I get the results. Just keep the prayers coming.
Nothing much going on over here. I got out and did some GALing today: dance rehearsal, Walmart trip, and a meeting for the workout video I am going to be a part of this summer. The sun came out and it ended up being a beautiful day.
I am still working out the vertigo meds, but made it thru the day!
H is still being helpful and attentive, and I'm trying so hard to not get sucked in...like a hamster in a wheel, going round and round. Plan on watching the Carolina/Duke basketball gam tonight. H's a Carolina fan so he'll be all hype and nervous. (I don't like either team). This is a continuation of a 180 for me. H told me that I know he likes sports, but never watch anything with him (mainly football). I like basketball, but never really watch games on TV. I've started watching with him - mainly because he hogs the big TV and I get tired of being closed up in the bedroom with the small one. I'm normally reading or surfing the web on my phone during the game, so it doesn't seem like I'm focusing on being with him. (OW is a Duke fan, so I'll be silently praying they lose. LOL)
About to go on an ice cream run...gotta have snacks for the game!
(((Ro))), glad you are planning a fun evening and getting on with things. I recently had a major meltdown, too, and it led to my H actually renting an apartment, rather than just talking about it. So, I admire how you've been handling things.
It was a great day in DC last Thursday, wasn't it? I sat outside for lunch and really enjoyed the sun. Too bad we are headed for cold temperatures and snow on Monday. Hang in there, Ro. Keep GALing and working on your detachment. I need some inspiration, so let us in on your progress!
M:37; H:37; M:10 years;T:13 years;no kids. Bomb ("I love you, but don't feel things for you I should":1/08/12 Separated (H living with various friends:1/18/12 Separated (H rented his own apartment:3/4/12
