Tested good to hear you are doing better. I have been thinking that separation divorce are traumatic events. Especially if a spouse is having an A. I am thinking that if you are unable to shake the depression to look at taking a few EMDR sessions. I read that is very effective. Just another idea. Hows is the weight loss going?
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
I haven't losses anything yet, but am feeling great! I just got done doing 1.5 hrs. at the gym, which is HUGE for me.
I am starting to sleep through the night too!
As for the EMDR, I know that it works as I am trained in it. I will consider it if the symptoms persist.
I definitely know it is tied to the A, because I would wake up at the same time every night and stay up until 5am-7am, just like when i would wait for W to come home from the bar/work.
I am proud of myself as detaching seems to be going well this week. W came to pick up D today and pretty much was telling me I wasn't doing my part to teach my child not to hit others at daycare.
I listened and told her thank you for her concern and did not get defensive. As I am giving D timeouts every time she hits, there is not much I can do at this time. For a 1.5 yr. old it is fairly common and will work out in time. If in 15 yrs. she is still doing it, then I will be more concerned.
M:35 W:33 M: 5 yrs. Daughter: 2 yr .7/11/10 D Final: 8/7/12
Man. I hate gyms. I did two years of martial arts and that was ok. So God bless you. I do lots of walking during work and when I get home I do sit ups push ups and some weights. I really love walking running not so much.
I would like to be trained in EMDR. That is next once my sitch is settled. Good stuff.
As for the baby hitting others not sure what your W wants u to do? Good to hear that you are sleeping.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
I think I have dropped the rope or at least have started to. Today when picking up daughter at W's place, I felt no attraction to her at all. In fact, I am almost repulsed. It's sad, she really is looking horrible and is not taking care of her own hygiene.
I feel bed for her, but she is making those decisions for her life.
Last night I got hit on by 3 beautiful women. It was a nice ego boost and I am not going to pursue anything as I am not ready and am still married.
M:35 W:33 M: 5 yrs. Daughter: 2 yr .7/11/10 D Final: 8/7/12
From what I've read, heard and experienced, it seems that the undesirable ways the MLCer acted pre MLC are magnified to an even greater degree during MLC.
Hopefully during their trip through the tunnel, the MLCer will deal with their issues and come out the other side in a much better place. Sort of like the LBS strives for while on their journey.
The LBS has an advantage because we get to start off sane.
Glad to hear you're feeling better. Time is your friend.
If they're a jerk pre-MLC they become a JERK during MLC.
I don't know what they become when their MLC is over.
I'm thinking some kind of flying insect.
"Fear is the mind-killer" Muad'Dib Me 53, XW 44, DD 14, DS 12 Bomb and OM 12/15/06 Separated 01/02/07 Divorced 05/13/08 X married OM(OMH) 08/2009 Married 06/09/13
No, mine did not. He did say that he felt "it was him" and not me though pre mlc. Now he blames everything on me.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Another great day today! Got the same PI$$&* look from W when I inquired politely if daughter had her medication this morning (She has an ear infection). I did not react this time. I nearly asked because I have gotten calls in the past, later in the day, that she forgot so I wanted info in case I needed to get it to her.
W then told me that she is going to buy D 3T clothing (although she is almost too small for 2Ts right now), as if she wanted my approval or praise. I noticed that she has always done this in the past. I would thank her for everything she had done for me (meals, errands, laundry when she did it, dishes when she did it, you name it), but it seemed like she still always wanted praise for every little thing. Now she tells me about the clothes thing and instead of telling her what I thought like I would in the past (she barely fits into 2Ts so why would you buy 3T winter clothes now??) I kept my mouth shut and said "ok, thanks!" I don't know if this is what she is looking for but it seems that in this situation I am danged if I do and danged if I don't when interacting with her. Oh well, I am not going to sweat it too much, I am trying my best.
Later on in the day D had a fever so I had to text W if she gave her any tylonol or Motrin and if so what time (so I would not possibly OD her). I got a nice text answering my question and a thank you for asking! Par for the course I guess, first a brow meeting, then praise. I am happy that I clammed up during the brow beating because I wanted to called her out on it.
Later in the day she sent a text asking how D was. This is the 1st text in a month. Not reading anything into it, but at least she is civil today!
M:35 W:33 M: 5 yrs. Daughter: 2 yr .7/11/10 D Final: 8/7/12
