Working on LRT to Something else???

[BFloat]

How much do you charge per hour? I could use some help around the house too!

[ces67]

Hmmmm. Maybe this is a new business opportunity! I'll have to think about this a bit.

[purgatory]

Lol!! You could call it:
"Acts of Service"

Or:
"Rent a Hubby" (for home maintence, NOT *those* kinds of hubby duties!)

I hope you have a great week!

[ces67]

Interesting observation. My W has this t-shirt that she keeps in the bathroom. She typically uses it to wrap her wet hair after a shower. The t-shirt has the logo of OM's drum team that he helps with.

The interesting thing is now that OM's wife is coming to visit this week, this t-shirt is no longer hanging in the bathroom.

However, the OM's picture is still in the collage and I'm really hoping her friend notices it and that it plants a seed of concern.

Still working on my detaching and activities for the week to stay away from W and her friend as much as possible. Maybe this is a good week to start Al Anon??

[BklynMom]

This is a great time to go to Al Anon. I go to 2-3 meetings a week and whats great is you dont need to be on time, you dont need to stay for the whole meeting, you can share if you feel like it, you can sit and cry if you feel like it. Al anon can be whatever you make of it. They suggest going to 6 different meetings before deciding if Al anon is right for you.

Definitely check it out

[ces67]

Well first night of "friend invasion" has gone OK. I got home and W & friend were in the kitchen working on dinner. I said hi and even gave her a hug. I made friendly conversation and then went an changed clothes.

Dinner was fine. I was pretty up beat and the conversation flowed smoothly. S and I had to eat quick to get him to bball practice. So that helped keep my occupied. Once home I chatted with W and friend a little about the kids activities for the week and said "good night".

Now I'm just catching up on the threads on this board. I think the big difference for me this today was that I contacted about every guy I know who's been supporting me in this and asked for extra prayers to get me through this week. So far, I'm feeling pretty good. The next 2 days should be fairly easy as the evening activities will keep me away from W & friend so I don't have to deal with them.

But when I do, its upbeat, cheery and pleasant (Yep, going for the DB oscar!)

[2thepoint]

My prayers are with you this week. Keep positive and maybe your W's friend will wonder what the heck your W could possibly be thinking since you seem to be the most awesome CES only a fool would leave!

[ces67]

Thanks 2. It was kind of funny actually. Maybe it was my own imagination but it seemed like W's friend would look at me odd as I had friendly conversation like she was wondering when the alien was going to explode out of my stomach and attack everyone.

That just made me smile more!

[labug]

ces, it would be a good time to go to some Alanon mtgs. I think you will enjoy the fellowship. Many towns/cities have men's mtgs.

[ces67]

OK, made it through day 2 of the "friend invasion". Saw W & friend very little yesterday, only about 30 minutes. I got home and W & friend left soon after for their evening out. Again had some simple and friendly conversation with W about my job and my mom (who is doing well so far with her chemo).

While I've been leaning on God a lot through this, I've decided to take an extremely focused prayer effort towards my own trust in God and my W's heart for healing. When I started this, I expected that challenges would come to throw me off and I wasn't disappointed...

While visiting my mom, I had breakfast with a friend who he & wife know my M struggles. He asked if there might be an OM involved. I gave him a brief recap of the picture I found back in Oct of W and OM and how I'm dealing with it. Well, my friend told his wife, who had lunch with my SIL, who told my brother who then contacted me last night all worried.

I've dealt with the possibility of this EA W is having and this just stirred up all those emotions again. Didn't sleep much at all last night. However, I do seem to be working out of those emotions much faster.

My brother actually had a PA several years ago and he and his W were able to save their M and are doing great now. Both say, they hate how they got to where they are but the have the marriage they always wanted.

But, from his experience he has often said he sees his own issues in my W and worries what she may be doing. I have to remember that regardless of what W chooses to do, it does not change who I am and what my path needs to be. (Hate cannot drive out hate, only Love can).

I also texted my friend to tell him that my M issues were not to be topics of conversation and explained how fast the word spread. He felt bad about it (rightly so). But I also know he meant no harm.

All these things feel like a spiritual attack to distract me from my goal and purpose and to push me back into a feeling of dread and fear. That place is no good for me so I'm fighting to stay away from it.

Tonight W & friend are taking the kids to dinner and then to the kids' drum performance at the hometown college bball game. I left W a note last night saying I was going to pass on attending and to have fun.

If an EA is still going on, I feel really bad for W's friend. You can tell this friend enjoys spending time w my W. My W can be a great and loyal friend to have. If something is going on between my W and the OM, its going to crush this friend and cause so much damage beyond what my W can realize. But these are W's choices and if so, then W will have to live with the hurt she inflicts. There is so much of me that wants to spare her that but I have to realize my efforts would only be seen in the negative.

Sometimes, I just really think too much....